(↑ This wedding is giving me a contact high.)

BE WARNED: Menstruation makes for emotional blog posts.  So if you are related to me, or have an *outtie* instead of an *innie* in that region about five inches beneath where *innies* and *outties* are typically used to reference a part of the body, then you’ll probably want to stop reading right around this point.  Like now.  Because it’s gonna get sticky icky icky.  Ok?  Stop reading.  Stop.  Stop it.  Leave the site.  (I’m serious, Dad.  You don’t want any of this.  I love our relationship, and I love that you care enough about me to read my blog… now let’s not ruin it all with something like this next sentence that YOU NEED TO NOT READ.)

It’s not even funny anymore how horny I am.

Sorry, happy Saturday afternoon, friends (and relatives who are still reading and therefore should consider themselves punched).  I’m pumped to show you today’s hella chic wedding, which was submitted by the fabulously fantasmagoric Nichole of Ampersand Studios, because it is white hot fabulosity.  In juuuuust a hot second.  First, I wanna address something, because I’m starting to think I’m not normal.  I mean in a new way - not normal in a *new* way – in addition to all previously mentioned/inferred ways I’m not normal.  Ehhem.  Yes.

I’m sure this has something to do with the fact that I hung out with Kristen of Haute Boudoir this week, and we talked boudoir, which has this funny way of getting you focused on T & A.  Also Kristen’s hot.  I can’t deny that.  But I’m more concerned about the persistent lining up of my hornballness and my Shark Week.  Am I alone in this?  Anyone else ever experience this ironic double-edged sword?  Typically I love twofers, but this is just mean.  Saving grace is that it was sunny out yesterday and so far today, and there’s something about sunshine that lessens even the sharpest of uterine blows.  But, OF COURSE, I chose to enhance my already debilitatingly heightened emotional state by listening to Adele, Jason Mraz, Ray LaMontagne and various other moody, emotionally-charged voices my Pandora station has been programmed to slam deep into my ears’ souls.  (My ears have souls when I’m menstruating.  My entire body has feelings.  And during this time every month, it’s like they’re all suffering the emotional aftermath of being caught farting in social studies class by a popular girl right before lunch.)  I should probably start throwing in some Rage Against the Machine or something similar to make the programming less tear duct aggressive.  What would one call this listening to moody music while prone to moodiness… is it torture?  Or is it “enhanced interrogation?”

I was hoping I’d get used to it by now but for some strange reason, every single month, I am genuinely bewildered by the heightened sensitivity that arrives immediately before the levies break.  It’s so weird how I can’t remember that it’s just my period that’s doing it to me.  Weird, right?  ANYWAY.  Thanks for reading about my vag.

Ok.  I’ve been wanting to talk about this topic for a while now, so I’m glad someone finally asked me about it.  I don’t know why it took this long, but anyway it’s here, and it’s happening, finally……

I don’t mean the topic of my vahine.  We’re off my vahine now.  I mean the topic I’m about to introduce with today’s…

QUESTION FROM A READER!

DEAR TKB: 

I can’t decide what to do about this so I’m hoping you can give me some guidance.  I have fair skin, but I do tan during the summer and on the very rare occasion we go on vacation.  We’re from the northwest so our vacays usually involve beaches and margaritas, and tans.  Point is I can tan, but I’m naturally a pretty pale person.  

My problem is that I prefer how I look when I have a tan versus pale skin.  But we’re having a winter wedding so I have to decide what to do about this stupid little issue of mine.  For some reason I feel like I’m going against my truth or whatever if I get a spray tan for my wedding day.  Is that lame?  But I also really want to feel as pretty as possible!

Ugh.  As you can see I’m probably making this into a way huger moral dilemma than it deserves to be but I can’t help myself.  I realize I’m being superficial.  I should just be thankful I’m marrying a kind man who loves me pale skin or not, right?  I don’t what to do.  I can’t stop obsessing about it!

Thank you in advance for your advice!

-R.

Dear R,

I’m gonna keep this completely real.

Lemme start by sharing that I have yet to do engage in a spray tanning session, but I am hardly against it.  In fact I’m totally into the idea.  I just haven’t found an entire day-into night-into another day of my life that I can devote to smelling like absolute s**t.  Because that’s what spray tans do.  Also it costs like $20 where I live to have sheets washed (our building is one of those lovely places devoid of a laundry facility).

Ok, now.  When I’m feeling down, or have my period like now, I usually put on a really pretty outfit, one that makes me *feel pretty* and I UNDOUBTEDLY apply bronzer to my cheeks and/or entire face/neck.  Because I know it always perks me up, and I feel more attractive with color.  So I feel you on this.  And while it IS a superficial dilemma, it’s intrinsic to being a human to be concerned about your appearance.  There are a gazillion and two studies showing that appearance is The Major Factor in attraction, and so it’s natural for us to want to look our best.  Especially when there’s gonna be a camera in our faces.

It’s clear to me that you like how you look much more when you have some color.  So get spray tan, it’s no biggie.  I don’t want you to give yourself a hard time about it; you’re making it into a life choice complete with self-inflicted repercussions, as if it’s indicative of some deep emotional struggle you haven’t addressed.  Will you feel better and smile more and generally be happier if you have a spray tan?  If so, there’s your answer.  It’s not like you’re baking yourself in a tanning bed every day and purposely accelerating cancer.  A spray tan is legit.  EXPENSIVE.  But legit.  BUT VERY EXPENSIVE.  But legit.

Now, I would like to address the public about skin tone and insecurity.

Even though I have no intention of stopping you, I DO NOT think everyone should go out and get a spray tan.  Take Lindsey Lohan for example.  She looks RIDICULOUS with a tan.  Straight.  Up.  Redonk in the face.  ’Course, it’s the least of her problems.  But seriously her skin is so lovely whenever she returns to her normal porcelain state.  Thus, spray tans are not for everyone.  (If I had my way, I’d eradicate the whole obsessive tanning thing this nation has going on, but the desire to be tan is as old as time.  Well, actually, movie stars.  But whatever, it’s probably not going away.)  So hear me out, please, anyone who’s listening…

WE ARE BEAUTIFUL, NO MATTER OUR SKIN COLOR.  You don’t need a tan to look AMAZEBERRIES on your wedding day.  Embracing your appearance, your natural appearance, has amazing consequences for your life and happiness.  I’m from the NY as you know, and went to college in the south, and tanned often because my friends were doing it.  But I’ve since returned to my natural look, and I’ve got to say, it’s such a relief.  It’s just, easier, to live.  To function.  Without planning my next trip to the tanning salon.  And while I still believe I look better with a tan, I don’t let it rule my life, because that’s just no fun.  And I honestly don’t have time to let something other than me rule my life.

I’m sure there are lot of you out there who are like Miss R, and are debating getting spray tanned for your wedding.  It does seem like everybody’s doing it, amirite?  Well, I’m cool with what you do either way, I just really want everyone to know that there is gorgeousness and a lot to be said for keeping it au naturel.  Case in point… this porcelain beauty named Courtney, who married this guy Justin, who loves her for everything she is, including her unbelievably gorgeous skin.  Aside from the all the fantastic DIY details, I deeply hope this wedding will inspire my porcelain beauties out there to rock their natural gorgeousness…

First, the details on the wedding, from the lovely Nichole:

Courtney and Justin had a very thoughtful DIY wedding. All of the decor, planning, floral, and execution of most everything was done by the Bride. They had a theme: “Let My Love Open the Door” in which their letterpress invitations, matching print throughout the wedding, had a skeleton key and heart lock. They elegantly re-iterated the theme by placing antique keys and locks throughout the venue decor. All of the flowers were a fresh garden rose assortments and the men had simple boutonnieres made of grasses and small succulents, tied with pink bakers twine. The ceremony was in an indoor loft, the alter was a wall of antique doors behind them. The reception was elegantly put together- the table settings had a personally calligraphed name for each of the guests, inside was a donation to a charity from the bride and groom. Escort cards were tags dangling from assorted drawer pulls attached to a lone door against the wall. The centerpieces were a mixture of branches and dangling keys and locks to garden roses in antique vases; all of which were set on a bed of loose-leaf book pages, another detail that was repeated throughout the decor. Overall the event was beautifully executed and had so much of Courtney and Justin’s personality and charm in it all. There was so much love among everyone there for the happy couple and Ampersand Studios feels so blessed to have been a part of it.

Enjoy!

✭ a fedora on a toddler at a wedding = maximum adorable ✭

So my friends, I ask you…

1) Can you offer Miss R any advice/thoughts?  And do you use a self-tanning product that you find works well?  I’d love to hear your thoughts/advice on the matter.  Even if you don’t agree with me.  Dissent is just as lovely to me as agreement.  Though agreement has some gorgeous eyes.

2) How inspiring is this wedding?!  Love the skeleton key theme throughout.  She really kept it going all the way through!!  Quick note: a fully DIY wedding is a TALL ORDER, to be undertaken by couples who fully understand the time commitment.  Because it’s A LOT. OF WORK.  I just wanna make sure y’all are aware of that, though you probably all are already.  Since we talk about it all the time. :)

xoxo!  - Alison

Photography: Ampersand Studios / Submitted via Two Bright Lights / Caterer: Open Table Catering / Reception Venue: The Linen Building / Dress Store: Chic Bridal Boutique / Cake Designer: Marsh Cakes / Makeup Artist: MAC Cosmetics

Happy Monday evening, lovers.  Seeing as it’s evening-time, I’m feeling especially excited that you’re with me.  Thanks for sticking around for this HUGE POST that I, once again, put way too much effort into.  Anyway, it’s so lovely to have you back for a new week.  Tell me, how are you?  Did you have a good weekend?  How was dinner, since it’s pretty close to bed time at the moment.  More importantly, are you gearing up for another Thanksgiving?  It’s approximately five seconds away, just so you know.  By now you probably know where you’re celebrating it… right?  So, will it be at your own home?  Your family’s home?  Your partner’s family home?  Both homes; one for dinner, then mad rush to the other for dessert?  A restaurant equidistant between your respective places of birth?  A grassy knoll measured out beforehand to be exactly half-way in distance between your family and your partner’s family, so no one gets offended?

Ok, actually, I’ve gotta get something off my chest.  Bear with me?  I have a quick message for my Bizarro World BF Ryan Gosling before we get into today’s Real Life Relationship Issue…

Part I: A LETTER FROM THE HEART

Hey Ryan.  It was so cool the way you turned down that Sexiest Man Alive title People tried to give you recently.  And how you gave it to Bradley Cooper who dates famous women so he can stay in the headlines and land roles, a classic Ashton Kutcher move.  It bothered me at first, given how much we were all pulling for you.  Remember that time you broke up a fight over a painting right after what appeared to be a marathon bicep workout?  That was really cool of you.  It’s a unique talent, when a man can end a fight with only his arms and his charms.  Award-winning talent, some might say.  Also, I seem to remember you were in some movies this year – I think it was something like 17? of them? – and I can vouch for you being very toned in close to all of them.  You didn’t get naked in all of them so that’s why I can’t speak to each role, sorry.  You really should’ve gotten naked in all of them for the express purpose that I could be a reliable source for you.  And not because I want to see your abs of steel 24 hours a day.  I mean you’re not a piece of MEAT, right?!  But no really, why don’t you get naked all of the time?  I think it would go well.  But mainly so that I could 100% vouch for you, about the tonedness.  It’s ok though, I plan to rent your movies soon and re-view them as silent films, so I’m confident I’ll be able to ascertain your level of tonedness in all of them soon enough.  But back to that street fight — I saw that other video that interviewed you about that video in which your impossibly toned arms, typically reserved for activities such as caressing girls’ faces/shoulders for comfort, preparing dinner for your grandmother on weekends and, I can only imagine, saving baby goslings?  But yes, I saw that video interviewing you about the almost-slap-fight between artists your arms diffused, and how you were embarrassed about the attention it was garnering.  Cuh-lassic Ryan.  Cuh-lassic.  You’re so cute.  Which reminds me, and this is off topic, but can I just say your arms seem to be working really flawlessly in concert with your core and face?  Can I just say that?  I’ve watched that video at least 200 times and mostly by myself so I could really, like, focus.  Like, FOCUS.

Here, I’ve drawn up a diagram indicating specific areas of your body where, at least I believe, you achieved perfection, and therefore, why you deserve to be Sexiest Man Alive and also why I’m angry you didn’t take it.  Even though that’s just classic Ryan.  Please see below:

I think that sufficiently proves my point, yes?  Hey whoooaaaaWHOOAAAA hey left hand get back here!  Sorry Ryan my left hand seems to think you have a little something on your zipper, there.  Like a fuzzie.  Just wanted to, y’know, rub off that bad boy.  THE FUZZIE.  The invisible one that was on your zipper.  Anyways you’re welcome.  You can’t walk into a benefit to save whales looking like that!  Which is where I assume you’re going, after this?  A benefit to help animals and/or children?  What is the location that benefit, PRAY TELL?  

Look at me, rambling.  I’m such a silly!  Hahah, I really am; actually my Mom always calls me that!  OMG I JUST TALKED ABOUT MY MOM TO YOU.  I realize you don’t have all abs–ha ha ha!  Sorry!  I mean all day to listen to me ramble.  I bet you have other women– THINGS, things I mean things, to do.  Other things, that you have, to do, them.  What?  You’re busy laying women–THE GROUNDWORK, laying the groundwork, for your next floozy–FILM.  YOUR NEXT FILM.  AAAAAAHHHHH I’M SORRY!

Ryan here’s the thing.  If offered, I would have taken the award you passed off to Schmadley Pooper.  It would have been especially awkward and insulting for me seeing as I’m a woman, but still I would have taken it.  I have trouble saying no to people.  But you know what?  Actually accepting an award like that just shows how arrogant I am, as a person.  Seeing you reject it, and donate it to that other guy who sucks is just you being you.  Y’ know?  Just bein’ ol’ RyRy Gos.  Can I call you that?  … No?  OMG I’M SO SORRY.

Sincerely,

Alison.

Part Deux: RELATIONSHIPS + HOLIDAYS = INTERESTINGPANTS

DEAR TKB:

This is going to sound bitchy, but I’m starting to hate the holidays.  I know it sounds terrible and unfestivelike, and I’m sorry.  It just seems to always spell FIGHTING for us as a couple.  Long story short, my family is in Northern CA, his is in Texas, we’re in GA and neither of us wants to give up visiting our families.  It sucks.  It feels like the only way either of us will be happy is if we magically find a million dollars and rent a private plane so we can do it all.  I hate to give up either of the holidays because certain different family members are present at different holidays!

Any help?

-V.

Dear V, and everyone else dealing with holiday drama:

So, Thanksgiving’s upon us!  And Christmas isn’t far off!  ’Tis the season of loving, giving… and of quarreling over where we’re gonna go as a couple for the holidays.  It’s a joyous, wonderful time of year, but it also can get a little difficult, especially for many young couples like yourselves (young in the sense of engaged, or dating – you didn’t get specific so I’m assuming one of those two) who haven’t yet established their own dwellings as Thanksgiving-Central, but instead have yearly family commitments that, well… that they aren’t used to having to compromise on.

Does this sound at all familiar to anyone?

If you and your sweetheart have a little trouble or hard feelings when it comes to where to go for the holidays, believe me, you’re not alone.  In fact, you’re in the majority.

I’m gonna keep it really real here.  It wasn’t always easy (who am I kidding, it still isn’t necessarily *easy*) for me and Honey to get our Thanksgivings and Christmases sorted in a way that’s entirely satisfying to both of us.  But that’s just life.  We feel thankful even to have two locations between which we’re torn every year.  And it’s always a discussion, and a compromise.  Compromise is the key word here.  And if you’re someone who can’t be satisfied if you’re not visiting your family home for every single holiday, well, then you’re setting yourself up for eternal unhappiness.  Not to mention, other unknown relationship issues that will undoubtedly develop.  There are definitely lots of people for whom it’s not difficult to split time, and decide who gets Christmas this year, and who gets Thanksgiving.  But for many more, it’s a tough decision that has unfortunate and – depending on your family members and their emotions – potentially hurtful consequences, no matter how hard you try to make everyone happy.

Fortunately, I’ve found that for the most part, all a couple really wants is everyone to be happy.  Sad thing is, it’s an impossible feat.  Honey and I learned the hard way that you can’t make everyone happy all of the time.  And that applies to him and to me, as well.

Here’s how we’ve dealt with it: year by year we worked through it.  Yeah we fought in the beginning, but that’s just because we strongly wanted to be with our respective families, and to please them/give them what they wanted, which was *us.*  But we soon figured out that you have to make sacrifices, that compromise is the only fair approach.  Not everyone’s going to be 100% happy, but if you’ve got a good chunk of what you want, and the other person has his/her good chunk… isn’t that a good way to go?

Realizing this allowed us to achieve more of a balance, and right now, the way we handle it is we do dinner one place, and dessert at the other.  It’s not ideal, but given the fact that our families are relatively near one another, we can’t find a more fair solution than that.

Your situation is challenging, given the sometimes-there-sometimes-not-there relatives you’re dealing with in this mathematical equation.  So ultimately, you and your fiance?/boyfriend? are just going to need to accept that sometimes you’re going to miss seeing those certain family members you mentioned who are present only at certain holidays.  And you know what?  IT DOES SUCK.  But it’s a shi**y fact of life.

The good news is that you’ll see them next year, right?  Plus, there’s always Skype.

Part III: HOLIDAY-RELATED PINTEREST FINDS I WANT TO BONE

Maddy of Inspired Bride pinned this F**KING REDONKULOUS GOLD CAKE that was pinned via Style Me Pretty and I wanna make sweet, sweet love to it.  Ok WOW now I’m no better than that commenter person who left that comment I told you guys about that I deleted that said “I want to have sex with that cake.”  Teaching moment, you guys.  I just learned a lesson that I taught myself.  Whoa.

Now.  That cake up there was pinned by Maddy, via a pin by someone named Yvette Inufio.  Before today, I didn’t know who she is.  But now I’m having a holy s*** moment because HOLY S***.  AMAZEBALLS.  A taste:

Well, turns out she has an Etsy shop.  Mind blown.  Such gorgeousness.

So, I’m not viscerally hating Lauren Conrad’s line for Kohl’s Holiday 2011, pinned from The Budget Babe.  Here are some picks I pulled for the holidays, if you wanna look fab without spending a buttload:

Lizzie & Isaiah pinned this KILLER DIY felt holly corsage from Martha Stewart.  And OMGIWANNABONEIT.

Paper Pastries pinned this cool new (or did I just not get the memo and it’s been going on for years?) trend in nails, which was shared on The Beauty Department.  And I wanna sleep with it.  But more so, I want to see it done on YOUR BRIDESMAIDS.  PUH-LEEEEAAAASSSSEEUUHH???!!!!

Random personal find – succulent escort cards.  Always a winner in my book.  But you already knew that.  Shot by Shira Z Photography.

Pinned by Katelyn Whitehead, these are wooden prop boards that read Thank You, for you to hold for the purposes of your adorable Thank You Notes to guests.  Yes, this is old hat.  But taking the photo in the silliest and simultaneously adorablelest way possible?  Priceless.  I mean, $29.95.

So, I’m curious….

1) How are you spending Thanksgiving?

2) As a couple, how did you come to a solution about the holidays?  Has it been easy?  Difficult?

3) Ryan Gosling.  Your thoughts just, like, in general, about him.

xoxo!  - Alison

Mini Thanksgiving Roundup: On Twitter right before this post went live I asked peeps to tweet me their own Thanksgiving related blog posts if they wanted them published heresville.  DexKnows Weddings shared this Mr & Mrs carved pumpkin, shot by Amber Stricklin Photography; she also sent this nautical- inspired wedding photo shoot she spotted on Valley & Co., which was shot by Limelife Photography.  And then there’s Wedding Lovely that included fave recipes for your Thanksgiving feast!  Good times.  Good times.  GTs.

I really classed that OMFG up, eh?  Eh?  YEAH I did.

Hello and happy Tuesday afternoonerrrrractually evening-ish once again!

First and foremost, my friend Lena of La Petite Coquin is feeling ill, and she’s been eating chocolate pudding to ease the pain of her sore throat.  I was thinking about how I’ve been working on an impersonation of Bill Cosby for a couple years now, and when she mentioned the pudding I thought, even though it’s still rough around the edges maybe my Bill Cosby impersonation could cheer her up a little bit!  Who knows.  Worth a try though, either way.  Hope it helps, Lena!  Ok here goes:

“Shud up!  Puddin Pops!  Kids say the darnedest things!  Ruue-ddyyyy!”

“Pip pip cheerio shudd up!”  - that’s my British Bill Cosby, if he were British, you see.  And my Australian Bill Cosby: “G’day mate!  Flibbidy flobbidy!  This is the Huxtable residence!”

Ok feel better, Lena!

Alrighty!  I truly hope you’re having a pleasant day and/or ready to see something for which your heart will risk passing a love note to your brain, thanking it for looking, even though if the teacher sees, it’ll get in trouble.  Your heart will probably find it worth the risk.  Because that’s sort of what happened to me and my organs when I first saw this shoot submitted by the amaaaaaaazeballiscious Amanda of Hearts & Horseshoes Photography.

It’s funny; being a wedding blogger has many perks and exciting moments.  Not gonna lie.  Not.  Guuunna.  Dooit.  You see some really interesting stuff come through your inbox every.  But until now I hadn’t imagined, even in my wildest dreams, that my inbox could bring me this:

I’m talkin’ about holdin’ chickens.

I’m talkin’ about holdin’ puppies.

… or, additional puppies, to my one puppy WHATEVER YOU GET IT.

And I’m talkin’ about hangin’ with white horses and lookin’ pretty doin’ it.

That’s right… welcome everyone, to my perfect bridal portrait session.  I WANT TO DO THIS.  I NEED TO DO THIS.  SO, WHO WANTS TO COME WITH WHEN I DO THIS?

Here’s the rundown from the amazing Amanda regarding how the shoot came to be:

When Amber & I talked about the style we really wanted a modern rustic look. Something that was contrasting to her animal friends but complimentary at the same time. Overall it was such a success. I couldn’t be happier with how they turned out. We had so much fun doing this shoot.

I did a shoot along time ago when I first started my business with a bride & a pig. ( I will attach).  So I wanted to update my shoot with a softer lighter set of pictures, but I mainly wanted to use my farm animals :D  The idea started with Cort (the big white horse).  I just needed a bride. So I asked Breann, a bride I had from earlier this year if she would want to do a shoot with my feathered & fuzzy babies and she obviously said yes :D  I made a bouquet out of lavender, pompous grass feathers & pine needles, all found in my yard. The husky puppy wasn’t planned but ended up being here just for the day and so we threw her into the mix because she is so stinking adorable! Then Edi (the newfie) & Fanny (the mini) were definitely the most difficult part of the shoot. They both kept trying to go opposite ways and Breann would start laughing because her arms were stretched out and she couldn’t move.  The chickens, Ro-Birda & Bird-trude were definitely the easiest, they froze when she picked them up and softly clucked to us the whole time… they are funny chickens.  I went into the shoot knowing that I couldn’t really plan how the “kids” were going to act so I didn’t have a lot of preconceived plans as far as poses, we just went with what the animals did or Breann did. One of my favorite pictures was when she is almost pushing Cort away and laughing and that’s because Cort kept trying to snack on her dress.

ENJOY!!!!

And now… the evolution of what is known in the puppy owning world as “The Irresistible Puppy Kiss.”  No it’s not, I made that up.  Anyway look:

↑ COME ON.

Zo, my friends… I vould like to heah ya ansues to mah kesjuuns.  I’m hoping to perfect my written Heidi Klum accent soon.  We’ll get there.

1) What do you think of this shoot?

2) Would you want to include your pet, or other animals, in your shoot?  On your wedding day, perhaps?

3) totally optional – Do you do a Bill Cosby impression?  Or any impression at all?  Feel free to share and/or make a fool of yourself so I’ll have some company.

Excited to hear what you have to say!

xoxo!  – Alison

Hearts & Horseshoes Photography is one of TKB’s newest Vendor Love members.  Her listing is coming soon; for now feel free to explore more of her wedding work here!

Photography: Hearts & Horseshoes Photography / Submitted via Two Bright Lights / Hair Stylist: Artistic Appeal by Amber Ligon / Reception Venue: Private Residence

It’s Thursday my friends, and you know what that means…

Children all over the place are adorably impersonating Nicki Minaj songs for the aunts and uncles and grandmas and grandpas they’d never get to see if it weren’t for the holidays; puppies and kitties everywhere are being escorted on endless road trips and spending the duration trying to achieve the ever elusive balance of standing perfectly still in a moving car; people everywhere are forgetting to defrost the turkey and/or preheat the oven (or is this just me?)… and you and I are taking a couple minutes break to relax and read a wedding blog.  Ha!  WHAT?!  If you’re in the US, I mean.  Actually, if you’re from the US, what are you doing over here with me?  No but seriously I’m psyched you’re here, all of you, now let’s kick it for a sec…

Thanksgiving is happening.  And it’s kind of a big deal, for kind of a ton of people.  It means different things to different families; a heartwarming time of year for many, a difficult time of year for others, depending on where you’ll be seated, and with whom you’ll be rubbing elbows.  A while many look forward to this time of year, just as many, if not more, are a tighty wound ball of excited and stress.  C’est la vie, right?  I’m not going to paint this post with rose colored glasses-err, paints.  Yes David After Dentist, this is real life.

So, using some of my favorite images from a few lovely submissions we’ve received, I put together a fun, slightly-too-close-to-sounding-like-I’m-trying-to-be-like-so-totally-profound-which’s-actually-kind-of-annoying-because-I-promise-that’s-like-almost-completely-off-base-ok-it-may-be-a-little-on-base-ok-it’s-standing-directly-on-top-of-the-base little message-in-pictures using images you’ll be seeing in some upcoming features on TKB.  It’s one of those corny self-helpy type messages-in-pictures, but I’ve been feeling schmaltzy lately, and I spent an insane amount of time on it, an amount comparable to the amount it would take to go shopping at the three different types of markets for all of the ingredients of whatever I’m baking for the Thanksgivings I’m attending (fyi, that translates roughly to *a lot* of time since I haven’t figured out what I’m baking yet which is terrible.  Ecchh.  But anyway, quick note – it’s not just for Thanksgiving; the message kinda applies to any time of year when your immediate and extended family is closer in proximity, and I hope you enjoy it!

We’ll start with a little inspiration…

And when you’re ready to get this holiday in gear…

Alrighty, Happy Thanksgiving, friendlies!!!  I gotta say one last cheesy thing… I’m thankful for a lot of things, but one of the biggest is all of you.  Thank you for being such cool readers and encouraging my no holds barred weirdness.  You guys mean more to me than you know.

Now go eat.

I do have one question, actually.  For what are YOU thankful?  I’d love to hear it, no matter how corny you may think it is.

xoxo!  - Alison

Heather Scharf Photography and Tessa Kim are members of Vendor Love.  You can explore more of Heather Scharf Photography and Tessa Kim in our guide.

Submission credits, from top: 

Lead: A Photo by Ashley / 1-2: Heather Scharf Photography / 3: DSMeeBee / 4-5: Styling & Coordination: Urban Style the wedding network, Photography: Siegel Thurston Photography, Floral & Decor: Camellia Wedding Flowers, Restaurant: Sessions Public, Menus, Tags, Invitation: Paper Scissors Print, Headpiece: Tessa Kim – White Flower, Hair: Amanda Moore, Goblets,Chairs: Pow Wow Vintage Rentals, Dessert Table: Tailored Sweets, Chargers + Napkins + Candle Sticks: White Wedding Day Events, Shoes Worn by Bride to Be: Disco Toes, All Jewelry on women: Mimi & Lu, Brown Cocktail Dress worn by Bride to Be: The Bridesmaid Boutique, Carried by all women: Cady Briar Handbags, Videography: Classic Filmworks / 6: Love Light Images / 7-8: Kisa Koenig Photography

Hey all!  Did you learn any lessons today?  I did. :)  I learned that staying up very, very late because you’re pretty sure you just heard a mouse in your kitchen but you can’t manage to think of anything in your entire home to use to thwart it from burrowing into Bambino’s dog food other than a can of Matte Finish Spray Paint… is stupid and it’ll probably ruin your next day productivity.

Note: I didn’t use the Matte Finish Spray Paint, PETA.  What I decided on (by unanimous vote-Bambo and I shook on it) was a Shock & Awe campaign utilizing a) one of Bambino’s tennis balls, b) two CDs carefully chosen for my willingness to lose them forever (“Presidents of the USA” + one of Honey’s CDs that I didn’t recognize, haha), and c)……

I barked at it.   I barked at the mouse.  I also hissed like a snake, and purrrrred like a cat.  Naturally, right?  I also sighed a lot throughout because WTF was I doing.  It sucks at that moment when you realize you’re being an idiot.  But on the bright side, Bambino slept really well.  I think he had a little fear-by-proxy while we were holding down the couch fort so he was pretty exhausted after it all.  This is what he looked like (this is a shot of Bambo and his papa, taken pre-HORRIBLE-Instagram-update-that-I-wholly-regret):

Any recommendations on getting rid of a mouse?  I feel like those sticky tape traps are so inhumane, but we’ll take any suggestions you have.  Thanks :)

Ok, SO!  Here’s the important, exciting part of this post.  I’m sure you’re ready for it.  So, you know how sometimes, if you’re lucky, a really stellar wedding photographer whose got a really great personality, a really great sense of humor, a remarkable tendency to turn out blue-eyed progeny and a really great eye for beauty in pictures… you know how sometimes someone like that will have a wedding photography giveaway contest, but that it’s like, SUPER not often and you can only hope it’ll happen but aren’t expecting it because why would we be that lucky?

We’re totally that lucky at the moment.  Ivan Apfel Photography, a member of Vendor Love and all around excellent fellow is giving away a killer prize to one fortunate couple, and it’s all going down on Facebook.

Please note that there are some rules – namely, that you must be human to enter.  So, just double check that, and once you’re sure, feel free to enter.  FYI, it is never too late to enter.  The couples who won 1st and 2nd place last year both entered with only a week or two left to vote.  So… yep, it’s always anyone’s game. :)

You can enter anytime up until December 14th, 2011.  Voting ends December 15th, 2011.

Here’s a little bit from his contest rules page… though you’re definitely gonna wanna get the full story on rules, how to enter, etc.

Are you Engaged and plan to get married?  Send us your picture (must be both of you), your wedding date and tell us about how you two met.  If you get the most Facebook Likes on the 2011 Wedding Contest Gallery, then you will win Complimentary Day Of Coverage and a Complimentary Engagement Session.

Rules:
Let’s keep it simple, shall we?

• Must be Human
• Must be getting married in 2012
• Wedding Date must be one that is not already booked.
• Entrance Deadline: Anytime before December 14th, 2011
• Voting Ends: 11:59 PM on December 15th, 2011
• Send image file and submission story to info@apfelphotography.com

Be sure to check it out, m’friends!

xoxo!  - Alison

Ivan Apfel Photography is member of TKB’s Vendor Love.  You can explore more of Ivan Apfel Photography‘s work in our guide.

Happy late Tuesday, party people.

Preface: Today’s Reader Question/Real Wedding were put together strategically as per usual, but the way I’m presenting the question requires it to be in three parts, and the format is therefore a little nuanced.  Also, I think I’m using ‘nuanced’ wrong.  I’ve decided to include the reader’s follow-up response to the answer I offered her, because her response speaks to a pretty disgusting problem I’ve never touched on before.  Frankly, I haven’t even been cognizant of it.  I was WTF-ing all the way through.  Because WTF.  I mean, WHO DOES THIS.  Ok sorry you’ll see what I mean when you see her response.  K, here we go… 

Today’s question from a reader is one that really hit me hard.  Basically, I know it’s something that a lot of girls have experienced/are experiencing.  And when I say ‘girls’ I’m not talking about girls on reality shows, because there’s a sense of entitlement going on there that surely none of us can fathom, and it always seems to come packaged with a complete lack of deservedness.  It’s weird how that always works out that way.  But anyway – the kind of women who can identify with the greater message behind today’s dilemma are the kind of women who have feelings and aren’t so tough that they cannot be penetrated/hurt by undeservedly harsh criticism, whether or not it’s directed at them.

Now.  There are lots of reasons why a couple would pursue a courthouse marriage ceremony.  Maybe you want a courthouse wedding, just because.  (That’s how my parents got married, actually.  I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned that on here.)  Perhaps a relative is very sick, and one or both of you cherish the idea of having that person present, or at least alive, when you get married.  Maybe your budget is more important to you than having a party of considerable size and reach.  Maybe you don’t like being the center of attention.  I’m just touching the surface here; there are myriad reasons.  Unfortunately, what there aren’t are myriad quality synonyms for the word *myriad*, which is why I had to use it back there.

Ok, so whatever the reason you’re doing it, a courthouse wedding has the potential to be romantic, lovely, and rewarding… as you’ll see in today’s feature, submitted by Heather Brincko Photography.  Hiring a great photographer who will make that valiant effort to capture your smallish nuptials in the most realistic, beautiful way possible, is important.  But most important?  All you REALLY need is love, to make that day special.

Furthermore, if you ever decide you’d like to celebrate your marriage on a larger scale, the fact that you already got married at the courthouse is HARDLY the be-all end-all to that…

… I mean, right?  Because, really, who the F Word says you can’t have a wedding once you’ve gotten married in a courthouse?

HOLY EFF, APPARENTLY A LOT OF BITCHES DO.  As today’s reader question sadly shares…

Hi Alison,

My name is S and I am a follower of yours on Twitter. I actually have a question that I’m hoping you’ll help me out with. It’s a bit of a personal struggle I guess.

Basically, my hubby and I have been together for over 5 years. We now have a 7 month-old son. He was unplanned but a blessing nonetheless. When I got pregnant, we weren’t married. I wanted to wait until after he was born to get married but everyone kept pressuring us to go ahead and get married in court before he was born. There’s nothing wrong with that of course, but I have always wanted a real wedding. Everyone said that we could just have the “real wedding” later on. So that’s what we did. We settled for a courthouse wedding and planned that we would have our wedding later on. Our courthouse wedding was something we kinda planned two weeks beforehand and we got married on Valentine’s day this year. It was just our immediate families – my parents and siblings and his parents and siblings. 

Shortly after our son was born, we started to think about our wedding. We’ve even booked the place (which I feel kinda silly for doing now). The date is set for next October. We already have a theme and everything. The thing is, the more I think about it, the less it begins to feel like a “wedding”, it just feels silly. I feel like people will think we’re doing this for show or whatever. I feel like I don’t deserve to wear a wedding gown because I’m not an actual bride. I’m just insecure about the whole thing. So my question for you is, is this something that is appropriate? Or is it stupid?

Also, keep in mind a few things. I am aware that the first wedding is still a real wedding. This would be more of a renewal of vows type-thing. Another thing is that we are asking that guests do not get us gifts. People already got us things when we first got married and it seems plain greedy to ask for stuff. Simply put, we just want to be able to celebrate what we never got to celebrate with our friends and family and have a good time doing it.

Sorry, I know it’s pretty lengthy. :/  Anyways, thanks in advance for your help. I LOVE your blog. :)

Thanks,

S.

Dear S:

Alrighty!  I’m really glad you wrote me because I’m like so excited to tell you that nothing about what you’re feeling is in any way “stupid,” or “silly.”  What you’re feeling – the insecurity, the worry of what others will be thinking since you’re already ‘married’ – that’s so completely normal I can’t even tell you.  It’s just a case of society’s standards having their impact on our emotions, and you are no different from any other woman out there in feeling the way you do.  Trust me.  Now, is it ridiculous to have a wedding after you’ve gotten married already?  HARDLY.  A wedding is a party!  It’s quite often a party where you get married, but the bigger purpose is to celebrate your union with all of the friends and family you love, and who love you.  I can’t imagine that anyone is going to judge you negatively for this.  That would be so ridiculous of that person, and I would like to face punch whoever shows any signs of acting so silly.  

Of course, I understand your feelings about this, and where you’re coming from.  You probably feel like you don’t necessarily ‘deserve’ a wedding, since you’re married and have started a family.  But what is life if you can’t celebrate those things?  Weddings are celebrations like I said, and I can’t think of a better thing to celebrate than the love you’ve found with your husband, and what it has brought you.  DO IT.  Have a wedding.  Get a pretty dress, get your hair done, get excited about it, let yourself be giddy.  Don’t look back.  You’ll never regret it, I promise.

On a final note, I feel that your concerns are quite mainstream, and I’m wondering if you’d be comfortable with me anonymously posting your question on the blog?  It’s always completely anonymous.  I really believe yours is a question a lot of girls out there would love to have addressed… but please know that it’s completely your call.  By the way, thanks for the kind words; so glad you enjoy the blog!  I enjoy it, too. :)

Alison

Alison,

Omigosh! I’d be honored to be featured on your blog! Even if it is anonymous! :)

Thank you, thank you, thank you soo much for your advice and reassurance! I’ve just read on so many bridal message boards (particularly [*popular wedding site*]) so many unfriendly, snarky and just plain bitchy comments towards other girls in this same situation and it just really discouraged me. But I trust your opinion on the matter and now I feel so relieved! :) thank you so much for your help! I’ll definitely be looking to your blog for tons of inspiration. 

The theme, by the way, is going to be kind of a whimsical pumpkin patch. :)

A million thanks!

S.

BEAUTIFUL, INTIMATE COURTHOUSE WEDDING THAT I LOVE

Now, check out this wedding situation by Heather Brincko Photography.  And then die over Elaine’s goddess dress, her gorgeous rose + heather bouquet, and just the overall PHOTOGRAPHY of it all.  I’m in love.  You’ll find that it’s very possible to make your courthouse wedding a totally fulfilling, beautiful and lasting memory… regardless of any future party plans!

Of course, the reason I decided to marry this touching marriage ceremony with today’s reader question was because I really wanted to show the reality and potential of what can be a courthouse wedding, but also that it’s perfectly AWESOME AND WHOLLY LEGIT to go forth and have your wedding celebration after you’ve gotten hitched at court, like this couple fully intends to do!  Because hey, why the eff not?  Let your haters be your motivators, like that endearing little girl in the whore makeup on that Jonah Hill movie trailer commercial says.

First, some words from the amazing Heather, about the experience:

Because of life circumstances, Keen and Elaine found themselves getting married in a courtroom. One might think this is an non romantic setting with little room to plan wedding details, but it was completely the opposite. Elaine picked the perfect details – her rose and heather bouquet and goddess dress complemented not only the courtroom setting, but her groom who wore a simple suit and pair of googley eyes for his bride. Also, the Seattle Courts buildings were filled with texture and interesting light. I will also never forget the Judges glow and smile as he pronounced Elaine and Keen married.

And here are some words from our beautiful bride, Elaine:

One week before my MBA graduation, we decided to make the year of 2011 more dramatic – to get married! Coming from China, I’ve met my husband in Beijing and absolutely fell in love with Seattle.  We want something simple, elegant and warm.  Though my parents can’t attend the small courtroom ceremony (we will have a bigger wedding next year to make up for this), my husband’s whole family came and celebrated for us.  The city hall and the surrounding area (Olympic Park, the Space Needle, etc.) are just gorgeous. Lucky us, rain stopped on our wedding day and we had such a beautiful day! Thanks to Heather, we had recorded the best moment of our lives.

I love the look of a man in love with a woman:

… I love the emotion their photographer captured.  Heather, you told their story so beautifully.

Fun TIP: Not in love with the decor of your local courthouse?

Assuming all necessary permits are in place, there are always other places to shoot… some AMAZEBALLS PLACES.

So, what do YOU think?  And how lovely is this small, intimate day?  You don’t have to go big, to avoid going home.  Or something like that.

xoxo!  - Alison

Photography: Heather Brincko Photography / Submitted via Two Bright Lights

Hey guys it’s me.

Not Ryan Gosling; Alison.  Sometimes I write posts that are so outlandishly outlandish, that the only thing I feel can pull it together, give it at least the facade of relevance and legitimacy… is Ryan’s punim.  I think it’s doing a great job of it.  A really great, sexy job.

Now about the title.  It’s like a weird amount of words, right?  Sorry; things get that way sometimes, and I just don’t like to fight it.  Anyway, nice to see your gorgeous/handsome/adorable-in-a-completely-nonsexual-way-if-you’re-under-18 faces again, on this Wednesday evening.  Uh-huh, yup, this is me posting super late in the eveningtime.  If I may be so bold.

Quick note before we start: if you follow me on Twitter, you may know that I tweeted, “Reeeeeaaaaaallllly peppering in those cuss words today in this blog post draft. Gonna reel it the f**k in.” a bit earlier today.  Well, I mentioned this not to show you h0w utterly hilarious I am, even though it does, show you that.  But no, I showed you because a lovely young woman named Alaina responded with “my preacher told me never to trust people who don’t cuss! True story! So keep it up!”  Sooo, to me, that’s akin to being handed the ceremonial oversized key to the city – of cuss words, Cuss Word City – kind of deal.  Let her statement be with you as you read this post.  …. Please?  Please have it with you?

…. Or you can go watch a show called “I Hate My Teenage Daughter.”  It’s totes your call.  Because that’s a real show.  Yes, it’s on Fox.  (There’s also “When Brides Attack.”  No, not really.  But watch, it’s coming.)

Ok, SO!  You know what’s weird: when I start to write ‘Wednesday’ like I did up there in my greeting, I always have to sound it out if I want a shot at spelling it right, and the extra serious pronunciation always bleeds over into the next word so I just said out loud, “Wed nezz day eve vuhh ning kuh.”  This is one of the reasons I love blogging without company present.  Freedom to let my brain talk to itself out loud, since it has every intention of doing it anyway, 24/7.  That, and the karate chop dance breaks.  And the Cosby Show marathons.  And the weird pairing together of foods not normally paired together habit, I have.  And for the occasional “I’ll just shower tomorrow” reason (a favorite).  And the freedom to go to the bathroom in every way that a bathroom is meant to be used.  Yeah, that reason, the one you’re thinking.

The ripping off your clothes because all of a sudden they’re working against your body’s ability to breathe and then lying naked in the fetal position on the cold tile floor, after an experimental night out at the always 50% off sushi place has gone every kind of wrong that discount sushi could – and likely would since c’mon it’s discounted – go.

Also, pooping.

By the way during the karate chop dance breaks, Bam likes to dance alongside me with his tennie in his mouth (that’s tennis ball, cutinized).  I can’t get shots of him while we’re dancing because, I’m dancing, but check him out just relaxing with his tennie:

EXTREEEEME CLOSEUP:

Ok so, as evidenced above, the absence of other human beings in the workplace makes for a more liberal room, and increased comfort to, as the kids say, act a fool.  It’s always weirder when I do any of these things in situations where other mammals are nearby/within earshot.  Abruptly shouting “Motherf***er!” indirectly in a crowded BCBG/Max Azria because they just told me their weirdly fascist return policy (which, lemme guess, is the result of years of broke dirty club-goers dancing in, secreting on and then returning their BCBG/Max Azria clothing) just doesn’t get the same reception it does when I’m saying it to my computer screen wearing my Forever21 polka dot sleep shorts and Honey’s personalized sleep t-shirt that says “I’m Beary Cool!” across the chest with a bear to hammer it home, which he got from that Bar Mitvah around- what, around age 13? I wanna say?  I have reason to believe it was around age 13.

I just played to an extremely small crowd with that joke.  We’ll see if it was worth it.

Oh by the way, that BCBG/Max Azria thing happened.  I come correct with my stories, you know that.  But I’ll add that I have rarely, in my life, gone so far as to shout an obscenity into thin air, especially with my Mom present, as was the case.  So you should know that I do so sparingly.  Even though you guys are totally to blame for encouraging me.  I want the internets to know that.  What does that say about you?  Eh?  Other than that you’re probably very intelligent and beautiful.  [← SAVE!  What a save.]  But so yeah, I feel at peace with the whole incident because my Mom, a kind, considerate woman immediate-reaction-laughed all the way out of the store, which I equate to a pat on the back, job well done, naturally.  I’m telling you, if you had heard that return policy – which is, by definition, made up entirely of bananas – you would have been just as shocked.  Maybe you wouldn’t have burped out “Motherf***er!” but you would have at least mumbled it under your breath.  Or just not bought the item.  Unlike me, who bought the item, and now have a ruffly, sheer, slim-fitting black tunic that hits *just below m’buttocks place* and BCBG/Max Azria has $100 of my dollars.

In conclusion, Mom’s since shared the story with friends.  See, look at that, my Mom supports me.  Thanks, Mom, you are the best.  It’s because of you that I feel free enough to use abhorrent language, but it’s also because of you and your across-the-board lack of using it yourself that I employ it sparingly, and only where it best applies.

Like in reaction to return policies.

Hmm.

This is a good time to say hello and welcome to any new readers we have today.  Welcome to TKB – hugs, here’s a hug.  To fill you in, I blog wedding inspiration, wedding fashion, share stories about life, willingly and with a teaspoon of self-proclaimed omniscience, arrogantly dole out advice to personal questions submitted by readers (like you, readers like you!), all while delicately peppering in what the kids are saying these days.  Spoiler Alert: what the kids are saying these says are horrible, horrible things.  Horribly offensive, inappropriate things.  But I use asterisks in place of some letters in the words so your baby on your lap can read along with you and not get like so totally corrupted that it chooses a life of crime.  Juuuust corrupted enough so that when someone flings unsolicited, mean-spirited and rudely judgmental things at him or her one day when s/he’s a bit older, in that awkward place where she’s ‘not a girl, not yet a woman’ she’ll be prepared with the knowledge that rude idiots cower when confronted with scary words.  Wait a second… I think- yep, we’ve arrived safely at You’re Welcome, just now.  I knew this blog post was worth it.  It was for the kids.  It’s always been about the kids.

And then what I do is I throw in back-to-back funny-because-it’s-true VS. wedding-film-tear-jerker videos at this lull in the storyline, because I like making you guys laugh and then punching you in the gut with raw, emotional life stuff.  All in the name of fun.  That’s pretty much all you need to know for me to start this BLOG POST ALREADY OMG JEEZUS CHRISTMASTIME IN THE CITY!

THE FUNNY THAT MADE ME LOL, IRL

If you’re not at work, great.  But if you are at work, make sure you have a cool boss or make sure s/he’s gone to the bathroom and the bathroom is like, waaaay way down the hall, and s/he’s a perfectionist which means she takes a while to wipe.  Because this is a little risque.  Though not really.  Anyway just watch this now, and then tell me if you identify as strongly as Honey and I do.  This applies both to cats, and dogs, equally…

And now…

THE TEAR-JERKER WEDDING FILM I’M USING TO PUNCH THE LAUGHTER OUT OF YOU.  heheh.  NO BUT SERIOUSLY IT’S WORTH IT

Now, my friends, my darlings, my lovers.  Regardless of whether or not you were able to watch the above, I’ve gotta have you watch the below.  Their story made tears push-off of my eyeballs as if competing in an Olympic Trial heat.  They are flying out of my sockets like line drives, akin to a hard rain on a windy day.  Maybe I’m just weirdly emo today, but I think this is a legit reaction to the letter, and her mother situation, and just all of it.  So, are you feeling in the mood for a bit of a happy tearjerker?  If not, leave.  Go.  Go now.  Before I start.  Hurry up I’m starting now!  (Though I mean, you’ve stuck it out this far, what’s a few heartfelt tears in response to the beauty of a man in love with a woman?)

Love that film.  It’s by Debs and Jamie of Super Mega Action Plus, and Debs and Jamie = the raddest radishes on the grocery shelf, by the way.

What?  I just called people rad radishes?  Time to wave bye-bye now.

To close this post up right, I’ma share what what Debs shared with me about their wedding, and the experience:

We’ve written a wee (Scottish!) thing about our most recent wedding film for ya. We think that Andy and Tintin telling their story in the film tells it better than we can in writing, but here’s a bit of background…

Andy is from Scotland, and Tintin is from Sweden; they currently live in London, where Andy proposed and together they wanted to create a beautiful and unique wedding that celebrated the traditions of both Scotland and Sweden.

Scotland was the chosen setting and to seal the Scottishness of the event, it took place in the birthplace of Scotland’s favourite son, poet and lyricist Robert Burns, and the inspiration of one of his most famous poems, Tam O’ Shanter. We pretty much had the tiny village of Alloway to ourselves, the bride getting ready in a stunning cottage just opposite the church and the reception venue, which itself overlooked the River Doon and the famous Brig O’Doon bridge that inspired Burns’ epic poem.

The bride being accompanied by a piper from the cottage to the church was a high point (among high points), they literally stopped traffic!

A notable twist to the traditional Scottish wedding were the Swedish customs of many speeches, toasts and even a Swedish drinking song, all peppered throughout the dinner.

The night ended with the classic Auld Lang Syne (another of Robert Burns’ creations) dance circles and general throwing around of the bride and groom.

We summed it up like so…

Such generous hosts and all round wonderful people, Andy and Tintin (aka Anna) bring with them this lovely uplifting feeling as their excited, warm hearts grab you up and take you on a happy adventure.

In authentically Scottish Alloway, the River Doon was dancing, the Swedish were singing and even the sun had it’s wedding hat on.

Vodka, fudge, haggis, drinking songs, speeches galore and a piper (named Billy!). Oh and we noticed that the swish of a kilt seems to loosen a man’s hips. ;) Skål!

Thanks, Debs!  Oh how I LOVE that film.

Friends, it’s question time…

Today’s question: WTF is wrong with me.

Followup: Why do you encourage this.  Are you laughing with me, or at me?  You’d probably lie to save my feelings if it’s *at me* though, so why do I even bother asking.

xoxo!  - Alison

P.S. – How lovely was that wedding film?  And how sweet is their love, right?  SO sweet, is an acceptable answer, but I’m open.

Super Mega Action Plus is member of TKB’s Vendor Love. You can explore more of Super Mega Action Plus along with the rest of our preferred vendors in our vendor guide.

Happy late Thursday peoples!

So, you’re saying *photos* are the orange part of my iphone memory, correct?

Yup.  That seems about right.  Certainly would explain why my phone takes an entire 1.7 seconds to do anything, ever.  HEY 1.7 SECONDS IS LIKE FOREVER THESE DAYS OK?!!!!  Whatever I didn’t ask you anyway.

Ok, if I’m honest, I have a habit of taking too many pictures of Bambino so it’s all my fault.  This intervention worthy?  Those seem like fun, low-pressure meetings from what I’ve seen on the Deeeep Deeeeeply Depressing Programming Network.  Or, A&E.

~ Interlude ~

Starting to think I should warn people before I keep talking about something with which some may not be familiar.  Ok, so if when I say “Instagram” you go, ”huh?”  And that this is what happens……

Old Man: “…. uhhh, hey honey – HONEY – what’s ‘Insta-gram.’

His Wife: “Whaaat?  Say again I cound’t heah yah.”

Old Man: “INNN-STAAA-GERRAAAMM.  Kid’s talkin’ bout it on this hea blog ova heah, an’ I stahhted readin’ it when tha gran’kids got off the personal computah cause dayzz left it up heah.  Up on tha screen.”

His Wife: “…. oh.”

Old Man: “So do yah know it?  What it is?  IN-STAH-GRAM.”

His Wife: …….

Old Man: ……. Honey?  Do ya?

His Wife: “….. WHAAAT?  Say again I cound’t heah.”

Old Dude: “So’kay sweet haahht.  Whatcha cookin’?”

Yeah so if that’s what unfolds, just skip down to where there’s a little pink flower part of the post, where the beautiful wedding I’m sharing today is, and forget about Instagram.

~ Interlude Has Concluded; Back to Post – Only People Familiar With Instagram Allowed Past This Point ~

Sooooooo… did you notice that the Instagram photo action going on above is seemingly spawned from what could most likely be the old school Instagram version, and not the after-the-update-Instagram version, which sucks?  WELL, that’s because SOMEHOW I GOT IT UPDATED TO SOME NEW-FANGLED SITUATION WHERE THIS HAPPENS!

If you know me on Twitter, you may have noticed my– well my *subtle complaints* about the worsened state of Instagram’s new filters and how distraught it made me… in the kind of way a person can be distraught when she is using a very awesome free app that has improved her life dramatically – on a shiny futuristic miniature hand-held people calling device, no less – and that she is lucky to have the, again free, app, but is choosing to find a way to be dissatisfied with some component of it even though again it’s free.

Thing is, much like the people who accidentally stumbled upon erection pills (aka, *let’s go ahead and masque that first-sign-of-a-much-bigger-illness limp dick’s sporting goods for ya* pills), I was going into the process in search of an older version, when I discovered this best-of-both-worlds-version, which by all accounts (mine, and… just mine) seems simply to be the latest version.  I can’t be certain that what led me to my current update is necessarily going to lead you there, as well, but I’ll tell you what- I updated my version to the latest and…

Schlemiel… Schlimazel… Hasenpfeffer INCORPORATED!

See how it has the frames again?  And how the photos aren’t jacked the eff up by processing, and instead, enhanced?

Ahhhhhhh.  Happy. :)

Okely dokely!  Next stop, Killer Wedding Station.  Please refrain from leaving your bags and/or children on the train, thank you.  Today’s beautiful wedding was submitted by the hella fantastic Kisa, of Kisa Koenig Photography.  And you wanna hear the coolest thing?  Kisa told me “Both the bride and groom grew up in Riverton, Wyoming, but met in Brooklyn where they live. They decided to come back west to have their wedding.”

LOVE.  ING.  EHHTHAT.

See, Attia and Jeremy got married, and not only do they totally get and expertly employ the “one fedora per crew at one time” rule, they are full-on happy-faced throughout their entire wedding day.  It’s as if they actually want to be together.  Whoa!  I’m being snarky but I have a crush on this couple and their dynamic.  You can tell they’re great together, and meant to be together, and I’m a big smile-on-your-wedding-day proponent so, I mean, open and shut case here.  (I simply don’t fully get the straight-faced-all-the-live-long-day-so-my-laugh-lines-don’t-show weddings.  Don’t you want to look like you were having at least a little fun that day, when you look back?  And show your kids?  Anyway that’s my piece.)  So I get to feature a gorgeous wedding, that happened outdoors, was shot by a stellar photographer, and involves a couple that’s totally in love and it shows.

Why do I get to have this job again?  Of sharing people’s love stories?  Because seriously this is just too good to be real.

Arighty, here’s the rundown from our gorgeous bride, Attia:

Jeremy and I both grew up in a rural Wyoming town, and now live in Brooklyn, NY. While we considered the convenience of a city hall wedding, the appeal of bringing together all the people from the different parts of our lives was too strong to pass up. We decided on a low-key ceremony and reception in the mountains of Wyoming, as well as a few weekend events to maximize our time with everyone.  

I can tell you about the invitations and the menu’s, about the custom koozie’s, the delicious peanut brittle that Jeremy’s mother labored over for favors, or about the family photos that we set out on the tables as our centerpieces. But while those things were fun, what really stole the show was the ridiculously fun crowd that we had celebrating with us.  

The Thursday before the wedding, there was a bbq so that everyone could meet and get to know each other, and enjoy the beautiful Wyoming night. You know the kind of party where you have to work to introduce people and get things started? Yeah, that wasn’t this party. People walked into the huge back yard and immediately mingled. They partied like they’d known these people all of their lives, and that’s how it felt – like it was a group of friends from years ago. That night’s coda was an impromptu fireworks show that a friend had planned as a surprise, complete with sparklers for everyone to hold.  

Friday was a hike, and that night brought our rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner. The rehearsal dinner remains one of the shining points of the experience. We in our favorite local bar in Lander, WY, with some of the most hilarious, brilliant, and lovely people that we’ve known across the many moments of our lives. We ate too much food. We drank locally brewed beer. A live band played downstairs, and people chatted, laughed, and made new best friends. At least one Lander Bar t-shirt was purchased as a gift for a new buddy, and discussions about Queens accents and Wyoming bison could be overheard.  

Saturday, our rock star bridal party helped us decorate the location that we’d chosen for the day. The Sinks Canyon State Park outside of Lander, WY, has long been one of our favorite spots, and we were thrilled to be there. It was a beautiful day with an endless blue sky, and people arrived early to take advantage of the pre-ceremony cocktail hour and lawn games. The ceremony was performed by a close friend, and the reception was even more perfect that we would’ve hoped. Everyone played games, ate, drank, and danced up a storm. The whole experience was capped off at the after party by a surprise ukulele song by my dear friend and bridesmaid. Love was in the air.

Now, enjoy!

This group is very active at pose striking. :)

“Hey…”

“What ah YOU lookin’ at.”

Hehe.  Sigh.  Yes, there’s nothing like a kiddo in shades to close a blog post.  No sir ree Bob there is not.

omg.  I almost forgot a puppy update!  I really owe you guys one of these on the blog, it’s been a while.  This one’s short, but I’ve got some coming soon that I’m weirdly very excited about sharing – compilation/storytelling ones, like back in the beginning. ;)

K here it is, a moment in the Life of Bambino McPuppyPants III, Esquire…

“yeah? what is it–you woke me up.”

FIN

I’d like to hear your input, peeps!

xoxo!  - Alison

Photography: Kisa Koenig Photography / Submitted via: Two Bright Lights / Caterer: Gourmet Catering/ Floral Designer: Woodwards IGA / Reception Venue: Sinks Canyon Center / Dress Designer: Nicole Miller / Cake Designer: Alice Gantenbein / DJ: Rocky Mountain Sound and Light / Ceremony Location: Sinks Canyon Center

Happiest of Monday afternoons to your faces, my friends!  Actually, there are more things to greet…

Hi there, vibrant yellow bouquet in the foreground with ribbons the color of azure waters that I want to touch.  You flutter beautifully like the hair of Beyonce with child while she performs in high heels which is very dangerous!  Oh and hey- how’s the weather, extremely attractive couple caught in a moment of not exactly kissing, not exactly laughing?  Oohh and hello to you, too, billy ball decorated cake of on-trend wonder and astonishment.  Can I see you up close?

Oh, thank you, cake.  You are as pretty as I imagined you would be!

As you can see, there’s much to look at this afternoon, friends.  Because today is Brancoprata in Mexico for Jose Villa‘s Latest Workshop Part Deux: Return of the Amazeballs.  And OMGITISMYFAVORITE.  However, if you’ll indulge me for two shakes of a puppy’s butt, let’s pick up this conversation after a little message for my deli guy who I just met:

Guy at deli I met who prepared my salad: why you no give me normal amount of salad dressing on my salad?  Why you give me weird amount?

You poured approximately a lot of salad dressing on my salad, and it’s gross now.  Why you generous is wrong way?

Eating this salad is a little like eating a thick, sweet bowl of puke with some leaves added to it.  It is so much salad dressing that I can’t even take it.  So, so much.  Do you know anyone who likes this much dressing on their salad because I DO NOT.  Why did he put so much on?  Maybe the more important question right now is why didn’t I listen to my Mom who gets her salads there every time she visits us and tells me every time that, if I ever get a salad there, I should consider asking for the dressing on the side because dude gives her a bowl of honey mustard dressing soup with a touch of salad to garnish.  If she doesn’t ask for the dressing on the side, which she does now, always.  Mom, you’re so right, why are you always right.

Ok keeping it real, this is not unusual behavior for me, this forgetting (or as friends/relatives call it – this ”not paying attention” or this “ignoring” or this ”walking into another room when someone is mid-sentence, as if to say ‘f**k your words.’”).  It’s not that I’m still rebelling shmmahhmmana years out of college, it’s more about the fact that I’m just generally a forgetful mess, is all.  I’m forgetful sort of like how OJ Simpson is forgetful about the fact that he [allegedly] killed his wife and so writing a book about how you can kill your wife was the worst idea, though still a distant second behind actually killing his wife.  I’m forgetful in the way that whenever I watch a commercial where there’s this one kid sitting on the bleachers/the curb whose mom forgot to pick him up from soccer practice, or a movie where there’s the one kid who’s waiting in the rain for his mom to pick him up from practice, and then that one aspect of the kid’s life is extrapolated onto the entire social acceptability of the kid and how it’s got deep, emotional problems because the mom must be a head case… I’m always like, “s**t.  S**T.  That’s gonna be my kid.”

{Fast-forward more than 12 years from now, when we have pre-teens} … After the third late kid pickup, Honey’s going to be like, “Sweetheart, seriously?  You gotta pick up our kids on time, otherwise they’re gonna be pegged as the kids with the scatterbrained mom.”  To which I’ll say, “Honey, first of all, I am already this person.  I am who you know me to be.  You’ve seen my sister Jenny, right?  We’re related.  Also, if their friends don’t already know this about me then THEIR moms had low test scores because I wear this eccentricity on my sleeve and our kids’ friends could have tagged them with this scatterbrained mom BS right out of the gate at any one of our kids’ birthday parties into which I habitually come running with an ice cream cake from Carvel (PLEASE STILL EXIST IN THE FUTURE, CARVEL).  In closing, having me as a mom is going to bring them the occasional late pickup, and yes, we may have named our children with the most common, Presidential names not because we want them to be President but because we knew in advance that I’d be running late for their birthday parties and would need to be able to grab the already-inscribed birthday cakes from the showcase cooler at the cake shop.  But you know what?  Our kids are also going to get A’s in art class, writing and at least passing grades in math, will excel in good conversation, and they’ll always know that they have parents who love them endlessly, and also, they’re going to blame us for everything bad that happens in their lives ANYway, so why not be guilty /deserving of it?”

And that’s when Honey is going to say, “omg you’re right.  I am wrong!  Let me cook a nice dinner for you followed by extended cunnilingus and one of my award-winning foot rubs to lull you to sleep.  Also, I’ll pick up the kids from practice on alternate days.”

HELLOOO!  I got a little off track there.  Let me escort you back to the matter at hand which is my forgetfulness.

Here’s one more example of it: I’m Rick-James-on-The-Chapelle-Show level forgetful, minus the soul-crushing drug addiction.  So, I don’t even get the fun of drugs.  Just the forgetfulness.  Sucks.  Ohh- if you’re not familiar with Rick James’ cameos on The Chapelle Show (or you’re forgetful due to 1: rampant drug use or 2: genetic makeup-aka the unfair way), I will share a relevant quote from one of his appearances:

Rick James: ”See, I never just did things just to do them. Come on, what am I gonna do? Just all of a sudden jump up and grind my feet on somebody’s couch like it’s something to do? Come on. I got a little more sense then that.”

[... brief pause...]

Rick James: ”Yeah, I remember grinding my feet on Eddie’s couch.

Anywho, happy Monday afternoon, guys.  I totally forgot to say that… or did I?  I think all that salad dressing is clogging my synapses/syntax awareness.  Ok so tell me, how’s it hangin’?  Having a good Monday?  That’s probably a stretch since it is of course, Monday, but still I hope it’s going decently for you.

I’ve gotta say, if you’re anywhere near as excited about the fact that I’m blogging Part II of the gorgeous wedding styling inspiration Sofia and Andre of Brancoprata shared with me from their super awesome mega fun time experience in Mexico at Jose Villa‘s most recent workshop, then your a$$ is about to explode.  Because I am a radioactive level of excited about this and I’m gonna shut down ma talk hole so you can see it already.

ShaBLAMMY! ↴

Almost forgot… A Day in the Life of Bambino McPuppyPants III, Esq.

Today, Bambino stars in:

Bambino sits funny.  I can’t see how this is comfortable for him but it’s his go-to position.

So, what think you?  BECAUSE I AM DYING.  About the wedding inspiration.  Or about my insanity.  Because clearly either one is game.

xoxo!  - Alison

Brancoprata is member of TKB’s Vendor Love. You can explore more of Brancoprata in our guide.

Photography: André Teixeira of Brancoprata / Workshop: Jose Villa Workshops / The beautiful couple is Jana Williams and Dave Baez / Location: Hacienda El Carmen / Abby of Style me Pretty / Styling: Jill La Fleur / Cinematography: Joel Serrato Films / Karina Puente / Brian of Richard Photo Lab / Jim Cagel Accountant / Mar of Team Hair and Makeup / Kate of Flower Wild Design / Paper goods design: Amber Moon / Calligraphy: Mara, Neither Snow / Cake: Erica O’brien / Wedding Gowns: Claire Pettibone / Hair Pieces: Mignonne / Engagement session gowns: Everly

Sponsors: Richard Photo Lab / Fuji Film / Velvet Raptor / Cypress Albums / Kraft and Jute / Think Tank / Ryan of Finch Design

Let’s start light, on this lovely Wednesday evening.  With a fact…

Whenever Honey says “You know what’s funny?” I go “YA FACE.”  It’s a knee-jerk reaction but I think I’m gonna stop doing that.

You know why?  Because when I’m sick like right now he goes and he does this:

He ordered me Chinese food from work today. :)

Even though I’m sick as f**k, it takes the edge off to be loved like this.  Kudos to all the fiances and fiancees and wifeys and hubbies and mommies and daddies and friends and neighbors and incredibly skilled dogs and cats who love in this way.  It makes all the difference in the world to the people on the receiving end of your kindness.

Ok one quick thing: if you have half of a second, I would be so grateful if you’d vote for The Knotty Bride in Question 1 of this WedBiz Awards Nominations and then go to the bottom to submit (“Done” I think it says?).  It would make my world.  I kinda put my everything into this blogaby (blog baby) every day because I love sharing and interacting with you all.  I’m living my dream, thanks to you guys.  It would be The Coolest to win this.  Ok I’m done begging :)  Sorries.

We’re gonna get started now with today’s Question from a Reader.  I want to preface this reader’s question by telling you that I hesitated to put this one up on the blog.  I dunno I just wasn’t sure how to handle it.  I think it’s because it touches on very real, very serious issues some or actually a lot of people face IRL when they’re dealing with tough life circumstances, and I guess I felt unsure if I should just straight copy + paste the question onto this blog post like I always do, or work to edit it in such a way that it wouldn’t be so honest and real-life-ish sounding.  Weird, of me, right?  I don’t really know why exactly all of this happened in my brain.  Why I got so squeamish about it.  Especially since I’m usually pretty direct as a blogger when it comes to talking about intense stuff and keeping it real about life on the blog.

WHATEVER, survey says I decided to keep it mothereffing rizzeal today.  And so away we go.

Dear TKB:

Howdy! I’m a loving reader o’ your blog, and I need help. HELP!!!!! I’m in a bit of a panic.  

My honey and I got engaged a while back. Happy, happy, yay! I then proceeded to ask my ladies to be my bridesmaids, like ya do. Everything had been going swimmingly until one of my maids and her boyfriend of three years broke up, and she lost her damn mind. Seriously. Completely sack of hammers. Here’s the rundown: She’s been drunk every day since (I’m not being figurative; it starts around 3 pm when she wakes up and ends around 5 or 6 am), been doing hard drugs with increasing regularity, and sleeping with every guy ever. I know that she’s just reacting extremely badly to something that hurt her. It’s been five months of this, though, and I don’t see a light at the end of this whiskey tunnel anytime soon. My selfish side of this whole mess is that I am terrified she’s going to do something crazy at my wedding. I’ve wanted to tell her that if she can’t shape up, she’s not invited thus not a bridesmaid (she was ecstatic about being in the wedding), but I’m scared that may make her go even further off the rails. I don’t know what to do, and it’s getting closer to dress ordering time. Help, help, helpitty, help, please!!!  

On another note, I LOVE your blog!!! Thanks for being rad, lady!

L.

Dear L,

First, thank you, I appreciate your kind words and I’m so glad you enjoy. :)  Now, about your situation.

HOLY SHIT.  Your friend seems to be doing everything short of Gadhafi-ing herself in the rear in order to feel something other than what is clearly the intense pain of losing her beloved.  I feel bad for her; that is one incredibly hard road especially after three years, even when you have the faculties/support system to help you through it… clearly she has neither.  She is suffering, and making life far worse by not dealing with the pain she’s working so hard to cover up with excessive drug and alcohol use.

Because your friend is in a downward spiral, my impulse when I first read your question was to say that this is no time to get mad at her, because your first priority should be your friend and helping her find a path to recovery.  But I knew that couldn’t be my best advice, so I had to stir this one around in my head for a few days.  FYI this really all depends on how close you are with your friend.  If you are close, and you worry, like you said, that she’ll go off the deep end if you boot her, then here’s what you might want to do:

If she’s abusing drugs/alcohol with the regularity you indicated, then calling her is a bad idea.  You can’t time a call properly with a drug addict, and you won’t get anywhere good if she’s hallucinating while talking about this.  So what I want you to consider is writing her a letter or an email.  I’m going to write this as if I’m you, L…….

“Dear my drug-abusing-friend: (← don’t say that)

I picked you as one of my bridesmaids because you mean a lot to me, and I’ve been excited about having you by my side on my wedding day.  I’ve always imagined you in my wedding, and I’ve truly wanted you there.  But now I don’t know what to do.  I see your behavior, and how unpredictable it is of late – I see you doing things that are very self-destructive - and I’ve been worrying for a long time now that my wedding might exacerbate the behavior you’re displaying now.  Which is to get faced all the live long day.  And while I hate seeing you do this to yourself, I’m smart enough to know I can’t stop you.

As much as I worry for you, I am also very concerned about what you’ll do as a member of my wedding party.  I’m scared that what I’m hoping will be a very calm, pleasant and joyous day for me and my man, is instead potentially going to unravel into something bad.  I worry constantly about what you’ll do.

I do know that my wedding shouldn’t mean anything at all to you right now, with regard to what’s going on in your life; I get that, and I don’t expect it to.  But, if it can serve as a deadline for you to get clean — if, for no other reason than for your own good… you could pull it all together and get sober by the time my wedding roles around, then I would love to have you there with me.  But if you can’t assure me that you’re going to be stone cold sober at my wedding, and call no negative attention to yourself in any way, then I feel that you should understand why you shouldn’t come to the wedding.”

Something along those lines up there, L.  Because I hope you understand that you and your future husband are the highlight of your wedding.  If anyone else by their actions detracts from you being the focus of that wedding, you have every right and absolutely should do whatever you can to prevent that from happening.

Let me tell you this, too, L.  If I was drinking that hard, here’s what I would tell you if you were my close friend – I’d tell you that I don’t trust myself not to act a fool, and since I don’t want to be a douche and ruin things, I should probably not be your bridesmaid.  Seriously.

It’s clear to me you care about your friend.  I can tell that because like I mentioned a little bit ago, you said you’re worried that if you remove her from the bridal party she might spiral even more out of control.  But I really want to make sure you don’t feel selfish about this.  She needs to be reached out to in this serious of a manner, so she can finally figure out, “OMG.  THIS, is how bad I am?  It’s letter-worthy?  I need to get my s**t together.”  And L, this is the one day of your life where you’re expected to be selfish.  Many people have that one drunk uncle, or that one slutty friend who sluts it up and tries to be the center of attention.  But just because those characters exist, that doesn’t mean you have to let them eff up your wedding day, AMIRITE?!  You don’t HAVE to invite ANYONE.  I don’t care what anyone says.  I mean, jeez, wittingly inviting a person who creates scenes regularly at gatherings would be pretty much the worst call on your part.

Ok, I’m turning it over to you guys now.  I’d love to see what your thoughts are, or any advice you might have for Miss L.  Even if it’s a quick comment.  Whatever it is, I really appreciate your weighing in, because the more people weighing in, the better.

xoxo  - Alison

P.S. – mmhmm, that’s right, I totally styled that shot of the Chinese food.  I cannot not style pictures anymore.  It feels like a disease.

Heather Scharf Photography is a member of Vendor Love.  Explore more of her work here, in our guide.

Happy Thursday evening, lovers.

I wanna start with sequins, because why the hell not, right?  So… don’t you love how sequins can make anything look amazing and hip?

For example, check out this old battery, wearing sequins:

OMG how hot is that battery?  How hip and trendy does that battery look now?  That battery looks 10 years younger.  I bet that battery gets mistaken for its daughter when they go to brunch together.

I’M SORRY, WHAT?  You don’t see how a battery is a better lover now that sequins are in its life?  It’s time for another example.

Please see below, a spool of thread on sequins:

ohhhhhh myyyyyyyyy GOD.  That spool of thread has got me so hot.  I want to make kinky love to that spool of thread, try out new positions – and the sequins make it so.  That spool of thread can wrap its stringy extremities around me and envelop me in a veritable cocoon of minty green cotton ANY TIME it wants.  I hope that spool of thread isn’t busy next week, because I should be over this cold in what, like, say three or four days?  Five TOPS.  Which puts me at about early-to-mid next week or thereabouts, in terms of my readiness to bone that spool.

If this is at all sounding weirder than you’re used to, you’ll notice that I mentioned a cold…

Which brings me to my present situation.  You guys, I am like BEYOND, beyond sick.  I can’t even think straight.  I’m pretty sure Bambino’s talking to me.  I am weird sick.  And here’s the beauty part: I have Honey’s holiday party tonight.  And I’m BUMMIN’ because sick people aren’t well-liked for attending holiday parties.  Also, I can’t go because I feel like a walrus on Thanksgiving night.  Sometimes I write ‘sigh’ to express my annoyance, but when I want to express deeper, harder annoyance, I make the sigh French, and write Le sigh.  I’m at le sigh level.

And of course, guess what just arrived in the mail?

MA PARTY DRESSES.  The sequin ones that I was worried wouldn’t arrive in time.  One of which I was going to wear to Honey’s holiday party that I’m missing tonight.  I am bummin, you guys.  I need some perking up.

The worst part is that I feel really bad that I couldn’t put two words together properly today for you, to form a half-way decent blog post of inspiration.  Please forgive me.  I’m gonna have two things for you guys tomorrow – a surprise treat, and a beautiful wedding – in the hopes of making it up to you. :\

In the meantime, I thought I’d share some fun things that made me laugh or smile recently.  This I found on a blog called Nat the Fat Rat, and I found it to be scary real.  Watch it, I think you’ll laugh.  How freaking accurate is this s**t?

1. Bambino vs. Sequins: who is cuter?

2. Bambino vs. Sequins: Who is cuter?

Personally, I think it’s Bam.

P.S. – If you’re wondering, that little bra thing in the first Bam vs. Sequins image is this:

I hear leopard is making a real comeback, but since I’m too shy to wear it, you know, around people, I decided to be trendy in the privacy of my own home.  … which is now on blast on a blog, on the internet.

And so it goes.

In closing, sorry I’m sick.  If you’re mad, don’t worry, I’m suffering. #lol but also #sadface.

Would you happen to have a good cold remedy, or maybe something I could do or make, to help me relax?  I’d be ever so grateful.  Really, any ideas you may have that could potentially result in me feeling even slightly better than I currently feel, which is “like balls” – would be appreciated to the max.

xoxo!  - Alison

Happy Friday afternoon, sweethearts!  Here we are with post number one of two posts I have comin’ atcha faces today.  Do you remember how I hinted in yesterday’s “hey I’m sick pity me” post that I’d have a wee *treat* for you guys this Friday?  Well here it is!  Issa giveaway, SON!

Of course, first things first: here’s a quickity quick reminder that today’s the last day to vote, and since I found out only the other day about the fact that I was even nominated for this, I would be ever so grateful if you’d vote for The Knotty Bride in Question 1 of this WedBiz Awards Nominations, if you haven’t already.  And if you have – and I know who a bunch of you are – thank you so so so much for voting for me!!! From the bottom of my heart, forreals, you must, must know that I am so appreciative of your support.  Really, you guys, all of your support, it means the world to me, you guys.

Ok, back to the giveaway, sorries!  Here’s a little background on the lovely Efrat, the talented woman behind this giveaway:

My name is Efrat Davidsohn. I have been designing jewelry for over 15 years and I run a small vintage style boutique shop in the Soho of Tel Aviv. I also run a virtual bridal shop on Etsy called “MyLittleBride”.

I make Bridal jewelry, accessories, design and sew my own bridal dresses and sell alternative Bridal dresses.

My studio is in a tiny room inside my shop and there I have all my ideas and stuff to make the jewelry, including all the materials: All kinds of metals, freshwater pearls, antique pearls, Goldfield metals and silver sterling chains, fabrics, antique metal pieces that I found at the flea markets like: silk ribbons, pearls, and more pearls and with that I am accompanied by good music.

I listen to Nina Simone and Ella Fitzgerald, Billy Holiday and many more and they also have an influence in my designs. They really get my muse growing!

I especially love working with my hands, creating new jewelry and applying all kind of different materials with different colors. 
I never know what is going to happen next, while sitting down to make them, or how it’s going to end up.

Most of my Influences and inspiration comes from the era of the 1930’s and the 1940 -THE FILM NOIR movies.

I love it! I love making Jewelry; it’s one of my passions in life.

Now, check out what you stand to win:

And so much more from which to choose, all right here. :)

Pretty, huh?  Ok, now…. how to enter!!!!!!

★ There are multiple ways to enter this giveaway! ★

1. For this one, you can enter as many times as you like :)  Leave comment(s) on this blog post telling us your favorite pieces from My Little Bride and or why you think the shop or the item is awesome.  The giveaway is for a $75 gift certificate to be used as you wish in My Little Bride; you are not limited to the items up top, or to those you mention in your comment(s).

2. If you’re on Twitter, receive an extra entry by tweeting the below (tell us you’ve tweeted, by leaving an extra blog comment):

#Giveaway alert on @theknottybride! FASHION GIVEAWAY!!! http://su.pr/1mVs0i

3. Extra entry if you “Like” The Knotty Bride on Facebook (again, let us know you’ve done so with an extra comment in the comment section of this post)

4. Extra entry if you blog about this giveaway on your blog, either as a stand-alone post, or within a post.  Must link to the contest, obvs.

5. Posting about this giveaway on Facebook.

This giveaway will remain open until midnight PST, December 22nd

Important notes: Everyone is eligible to enter.  (If you are currently working with the giveaway sponsor on an order placed before entering this contest, winning this contest will not apply to your order, and canceling your order will void your win.)  Yes, you can enter multiple ways, and yes, they will count as multiple entries.  If you decide to enter in more ways than just leaving a comment on this post, then, with each separate type of entry (Twitter, Facebook Like, blogging the giveaway, posting on Facebook), you must leave a separate comment telling us what that entry was (if you’ve gone ahead and liked us on FB, leave a comment telling us.  If you tweeted the giveaway, that’s another comment.  Same with reposting the link to this blog post on your own blog.  Get it?  Got it?  Good!)…

Good luck!  And don’t forget, up next today, there’s some insanely inspiring eye candy in the form of a killer wedding, plus some Bambino, plus the worst outfit fail I’ve seen in recent history.  Obviously, I can’t wait to share it with you. :)

xoxo!  - Alison

Happy Friday afternoon, bubelahs!  Welcome to post number two today.

Now, I know you’re looking at those mint dresses and the ruffly shoes and everything and you’re probably thinking, “whoa, this wedding is Alison’s baaaag.  She is probably freaking. out. over this wedding.  Crap, I bet this is going to be the longest post in the history of Alison posts!”

And yes normally that is how I would react to a wedding like this, and you are right to think I should have a lot of loving words to say about it.  But the problem is, I find it incredibly hard to write and to orgasm at the same time, so I’m actually going to be keeping it quite brief, as posts go.

Amanda Borozinski of Boro Creative Visions submitted this numba one stunna to the blog and I’m tellin’ ya, seriously I AM TELLIN. YA. it is a home run in the romantic and tasteful departments.  The ruffle department, too.  Also, the succulent department – a key department for me, as many of you know.

Prepare to climax along with me… I think I’m up for another one – though since it’s the second time around mine will be slightly lesser in strength for the effort expended.  And thus, a let down.  But hey, it’s still worth it if you’ve got it in ya.  Is what I say.  Until whoa whoa WHOAAA OK I’M GOOD THAT’S ENOUGH.

Here, my friends, I’ll let our gorgeous bride Danielle tell the story:

When it came to our wedding day Jesse and I knew that we wanted to have the ceremony outdoors and we wanted it to have a laid back feel. When I started out on my wedding planning, I came across a photo of a reception in a barn and I fell in love with the simple, rustic elegance. We had been going to the Red Apple Farm since we were kids to pick apples, and it was located right in our home town in Central Massachusetts, which made it even more special to us. With the barn and the acres of old apple trees, we knew it would be perfect!

For our DIY wedding we went to yard sales, antique shops and flea markets to collect mason jars, antique bottles and old advertising tins – pretty much anything old and rustic that wouldn’t break our budget. We wanted our decor to be a reflection of us, but to also fit with the farm scenery. The ‘Will U Marry Me’ carved into the piece of driftwood was how Jesse proposed to me so we knew we wanted that to be part of our wedding day. My husband was very involved in the wedding process and was so helpful. He’s a tattoo artist and a painter and is naturally creative. The wedding signs, wood centerpieces, invitations were all made and designed by him. We painted wood planks for the ceremony seating and borrowed the hay from the farm. The apple butter favors were made by the Bauman Family and I cut fabric squares to top the apple butters and tied on a heart tag with twine. Almost everything was a DIY project or we had help from friends and family. A dear friend of the family officiated the ceremony, and our friend Ray was kind enough to sing “You are the Best Thing,” by Ray LaMontagne and “She is Love,” by Parachutes as my bridesmaids and I walked down the aisle.

The most special and memorable moment for us was when we got to tell each other our vows that we had written for each other in front of our friends and family. It was so amazing to see all of our projects, ideas and collecting come together so wonderfully for our rustic apple farm wedding. If I had to give any advice to future brides planning a wedding, it would be not to get caught up in what is trendy or think your wedding has to be a certain way. There is a lot of wonderful inspiration out there with wedding blogs and magazines but it can be overwhelming. I think it’s important to remember what the day is about; you and your groom. Your wedding day should be a reflection of who you are as a couple and what is important to you. Happy planning!

Ok, I’m sorry, but I want you guys to see that moment up there on the right super up close and personal.  Because it’s just too damn cute and special and emotional and adorable and perfect not to:

How cute is she???!!!! ↑

This cake?  It’s so perfect I don’t want anyone to eat it.  So since I run things here, I won’t be sharing any images of anyone taking an ax (axe?) to it and then dining on its innards.  Because cakes this beautiful must exist into infinity for me.  Or something.  It’s Friday, I’m sick, I’m a little loopy.  So what, who cares.

↑ THAT’S what it’s all about.  AMIRITE?

PART DEUX, or B

It’s Fashion Fail Tiempo.  And for today’s inaugural Fail, we have a young lady on the Ellen Show who’s lucky she’s got a great tushie…

This happened to Sofia Vergara recently, too.  Ladies, always remember, tights are never as thick as you think they are.

PART TROIS, or, C

I now present, your Friday installment of a Day in the Life of Bambino McPuppyPants…

Today, Bambino stars in, “GIMME MY TENNIE WOMAN”

Turned out to be a long post after all, heh.  Look at that.  Funny how that happens EVERY TIME.

So, my dears, please tell me…

1. Are you digging this wedding?  Any specific details?  Personally, I’m hopelessly in love with her bridesmaids’ dresses.  The color seems to me a vintage mint, if that makes sense.  LOVE.  And her tats, they are KILLIN’ ME in the best way.

2. Regarding the Black Tights Fail… it seems impossible not to know that your tushie is on display when you leave the house.  I know they say it’s the lighting/flash but you must have had doubts during the outfit-trying-on-stage.  Have you ever made a fashion faux-pas?

3. Happy Friday my loves!  Kissin’ ya faces!  Not a question, just a statement.

xoxo!  - Alison

Photography: Amanda Borozinski/Boro Creative Visions / Flowers: Brooks McMannis / Ceremony/Reception Location: The Red Apple Farm / Wedding Dress:  Bridal Heirlooms/Maggie Sottero / Bridesmaids Dresses: Netbride/Bari Jay / Apple Butter: The Bauman Family

Happy late in the day on Tuesday, lovers.  Thanks for being super troopers (← GREAT movie) and bearing with me as I fight (or lay moaning in submission of) this cold, you guys.  I appreciate the concern everyone’s been showing me, it touches my heart so deeply.  Seriously, so deeply, you have NFI.  It’s actually kind of shocking how sick I am, really.  I’ve been so fortunate not to have had a cold in I think a few years, so this is all new to me.  I’m the kind of sick where you find yourself leaning your head on the bathroom mirror to hold yourself up while you brush your teeth, and sitting down in the tub because you realize that taking a shower is actually pretty hard work.  It’s like, constant movement.  I’m weirdly sicker than I was last week, with new symptoms which leads me to believe that I’ve contracted some sort of cold starfish and it’s just going to keep regenerating arms of cold, and essentially stay with me into eternity.  I’m gonna have a cold in heaven, is what I’m working to accept right now.

Anyway, nuff about the cold.  What I really want to tell you is that today’s sweet, vintage engagement session got to me in an emotionally deeper than usual way this time.  So, of course, I have to share the somewhat personal story with you.  Though I do feel you’re all gonna dig this shoot for lots of reasons; a lot of the same reasons I already love it to death, nevermind the story I’m about to share.  Because it’s a session that’s so perfectly styled I can hardly take the beauty of it.  And what’s more, this couple – their names are Jackie and Jesse – they naturally dress like this.  It’s their style.  Here’s a little somethin’ somethin’ that Rabiah, of Rabiah Khwaja Gohar Photographer, shared with me about the couple when she submitted this shoot:

Jackie and Jesse wanted to have their love documented in a similar way they are in real life! laid-back, inspired by the past, and very casual chic. The entire session was shot in their backyard, getting to know them while sipping on some golden lemonade. The weather encouraged Jackie to pull out some of her favorite vintage outfits! the lovely collectable bicycles are also owned by them. What a treat to photograph such an artistic couple.

I love that.  Like, soooo much.  Engagement sessions go crazy with little details and settings and what have you – details that often have no connection to our personal realities, but just look pretty – and I fully admit that I’ve come to fall in love with these little details, whether or not they’re relevant to our lives.  But when those details are intrinsic to the life you try to lead every day, the time you spend in your backyard, the clothes you wear anyway, well that just makes the images that much sweeter and more meaningful to you.  So that when you look back tens of years later at this album of images from this earliest time in your relationship, and flip through those pages, the images will really touch you and remind you of the couple you were, at the very beginning.  The lifestyle you enjoyed, at the very beginning.  The interests you shared, at the very beginning.  What a beautiful thing!  It’s easy to forget the things we once enjoyed, the styles we once loved representing, the pieces of life we once held so dear.  Life keeps flowing, and we thoughtlessly move with it with little resistance.  And suddenly it’s decades later, and you’ve forgotten what it was like when you first found one another.

That’s why I love this session.  It’s as if someone scooped up a day in the life of these two, and poured it into a series of pictures.  And when they stare at these images one day far into their future, it’ll rush their minds right back to that day; to that life they were leading, and loving.  … How do I know this?

It has to do with that little story I mentioned I’d be sharing at the beginning of this post.  It’s about my parents.  See this image below?  It could be my mother.

Down to the top, the hair, the shape… the everything.  (I bet I’m creeping Jackie out right now.  Sorry, Jackie.)

It’s the vintage look and feel of this shoot, that reminded me of a certain handful of pictures of my Mom.  Pictures that were taken by my Dad over a series of days when the mood just struck him to document the beauty he was so overwhelmed by, in their youth.  My Dad has always found my Mom to be the most beautiful woman in the world – it’s the kind of sentiment you want your Dad to have for your Mom.  The kind of sentiment a man is meant to have for his wife.  I’ve always felt that my parents lucked out in finally finding one another; it took a handful of not-perfect-matches (I don’t wanna say they had to *kiss some frogs” before they found one another because I have an older sister and an older brother who I love who were born of one of those “frogs” my Dad met, and that doesn’t seem all that kind, so…).  So yeah, the road to the best kind of love isn’t necessarily quick and easy (read: it is rarely if ever quick and easy), but the journey is worth it.  The journey to find The Right Person For You.

I think (and I worry that) a lot of people marry other people because of some reason other than real love.  I think there are a lot of people who marry because they feel they’re never going to find something better.  I think a lot of people stay with people because they think it’s “enough to make them happy” or because “he’s a provider.”  Or other reasons that dismiss people’s deepest desires to find their best, true love.  But when you have an influence in your life, whether it be your parents, or maybe it’s your sister’s marriage, or your good friend’s relationship, and you can see with your own eyes what it means to have a good relationship, it’s kind of impossible to settle for anything less without losing some part of you in the process.  I think my parents were lucky in finding one another, and I wish that kind of love for everyone reading this post, and everyone else not reading this post out there.  I just want people to marry people they love.  People they truly love, who support them emotionally, and build them up, and respect them and believe in them.  That’s what a real relationship is.  I know you guys know this and I’m being overly sappy and sentimental which I’ll have you know IS ENTIRELY BECAUSE OF THIS STUPID COLD THAT’S MAKING ME EMOTIONAL, but as I write it I don’t see a reason to delete it.  It’s stuff that needs to be said and heard and done.

Anyway, so back to my parents…

After all those other relationships, they met one another.  Ok when I say “all those other” it makes my Mom sound like a whore.  My Mom wasn’t a whore.  But yeah so when they met, that was it.  They found the rest of their lives in one another.  And their type of love – the devoted, understanding, affectionate-in-front-of-us-but-to-a-point-so-they-didn’t-gross-us-out kind of love – is something I had always strived to have for my own life, simply because it’s all I ever knew.  And it always seemed “right.”  It always seemed like it was something that probably felt really good and comforting to my parents, to have one another in their respective corners.  And it’s because of them that I know when I’m being good or bad in my own relationship, and I correct myself quickly because I know better than to behave that way.  Ok anyway, I’m sure you’re totally SICK of this, so I’ll stop talking about love.  Yech, what is WRONG with me.  The reason I got transported into that little self-indulgent realm is because those pictures my Dad took?  It was back when they were probably around the same age as these two lovebirds in this lovely shoot.  I love those pictures of my mother, and I know they’re some of my Dad’s favorites.

Dad, stop happy crying.

Mom, stop blushing.

So I pretty much could have summed all that mushy mush up by saying that it is images like these that bring beautiful, warm, nostalgic memories and feelings to my mind.  And I hope you enjoy them around 50% as much as I’m clearly loving the godforsaken s**t out of them like a clinically insane person.

A few words from the gorgeous and hyper-stylish Jackie:

Jesse and I met years ago when he was playing his blues guitar on the street at a Christmas festival. We kept in touch ever since and about two and half years ago we started dating. I think I was so drawn to him when I was younger because I was impressed by his vintage style. Over the years I have come to realize that he is just an old soul and his clothes are a reflection of his true gentleman spirit. i finally found someone who loves me for me and supports whatever I choose to do. Together we have both started our own businesses, his an antique car restoration, and mine a vintage clothing boutique. We are simply trying to make one another happy and having fun while doing it!

And now… A Day in the Life of Bambino McPuppyPants:

Facebook.

~fin~

So, a few questions…

1. What do you think of this shoot?

2. Does it make you sad, too, that there are probably so many people out there who marry for some reason other than real love?

3. The “Joe Fresh” commercials with the three girls stand up cuddling, or it’s sometimes the two girls and two guys, but they’re always kind of stand up cuddling and swaying and just staring into a camera that keeps zooming in and out and around them, and they all kinda just look really ready to f**k.  You know those commercials?  I need those commercials to go away.  They are the weirdest. thing.

4. When am I going to learn my lesson and stop watching Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.  It is never what I want it to be.  I’m always like “well that sucked.”  Seriously, I’m asking, when will I learn?

5. This last one’s not a question.  I just wanna mention that I promise I’ll shut up about this cold.  Soon.  And I really appreciate all the love, you guys.  Means a lot to me.

xoxo!  - Alison

Photography: Rabiah Khwaja Gohar Photographer / Submitted via Two Bright Lights

123four. five. 678nine. ten. ELEVEN. TWELVE. 

^ IT BEEN THREE DAYS.  WANT TUNE LEAVE HEAD PLEASE.  YES?  NEED ROOM IN BRAIN FOR THINK.

Aright, SO!  Happy Wednesday evening to your faces n stuff.  Listen, I will have you know that I am very, very excited for today’s question.  Of course by excited I actually mean totally emotionally distraught and angry that effing people keep effing acting this way towards their own effing children.

Here’s a fun fact before we throw down: some people aren’t the definition of supportive when you announce your engagement!  SHOCKING, eh?  I know, not so much, unfortunately.  Especially if you’re me, a wedding blogger who takes reader questions and thus you’ve heard the kinds of struggles quite a few of your readers have gone through with regard to families not being so welcoming to the people they’ve chosen to marry.

Today’s question is from a lovely reader we’re calling Miss M.  I need your help with this one, because I think Miss M could use all the thoughts and ideas and personal stories and potentially bits of advice you guys can stand to offer her today.  This one’s a shocker and doozie.  Aright here we go……

Dear TKB:

Alison, I am at my wit’s end. The situation with my parents has gone so far past out of control, they are making out of control look calm and serene. I am engaged and we are getting married this coming July 28th. I have received nothing but support from everyone, with the exception of my parents. Did I expect them to be excited for me? No, but I do expect them to behave like adults. This past weekend, my fiance and I went to my hometown in South Dakota for a belated Thankgiving/early Christmas visit with my family. We arrived before my dad was back from work. When he walked in the door, he did not make eye contact with anyone or say hello or respond to my hello to him. Saturday morning, my fiance walked into the kitchen and said “Good morning Mr. R, how are you doing?” In response, my dad looked around the kitchen and left without saying a word. The atmosphere did not improve as the weekend progressed. Yesterday, I gave my mom a call, as I usually do several times a week. My dad’s behavior over the weekend was brought up and I mentioned being of the opinion that my dad, while he did apologize to me for what happened, also owes my fiance an apology for how rude he was. My mother proceeded to inform me that my dad’s behavior was completely justified because my fiance “gave us the ultimate fuck you when we said no after he asked to marry you, and he proposed anyway.”

Some quick background information on my fiance’s experience when talking to my parents about the two of us getting married. Now, I wasn’t present for the conversation, but I trust that my fiance was honest in the facts he relayed about the event. According to him, my dad said “I’m not saying yes and I’m not saying no.” This response had my fiance pretty upset because it’s a yes or no question, there isn’t really room for ambiguity. My parents proceeded to accuse my fiance of being the reason for all of my faults because I was perfect before I started dating him. Alison, the things they were throwing out there were almost comical. They blamed him as being the reason I no longer play the violin (I do still play the violin). He’s also the reason I no longer take dance classes (I no longer take them because there are none available for adults my age). And he was also credited for being the reason I no longer go to church. I quit going to church because I felt forced into a religion, which I have tried to explain to my parents numerous times and it seems to go in one ear and out the other.

My parents have met me with whole hearted resistance on all major decisions of my adult life to date, so I was not surprised when they were less than supportive of my engagement and upcoming marriage. But they have gone past simply stating their concerns to being just plain mean. During my phone call with my mother yesterday, not only did she say that by saying “not yes and not no” they actually meant no and we should have known that, but she also said that everyone one in our family, on both sides, extended family included, thinks I am making a poor decision in getting married. The only person (besides my parents) who has been less than supportive is my dad’s mother, and that is because she doesn’t want me marrying anyone unless they are Catholic. She’s old, and I expect that from her. Everyone else I have spoken with has been extremely supportive and excited. My aunts are throwing a bridal shower for me for goodness sake.  

After saying that everyone is lying to me, my mom proceeded to tell me that I am irresponsible and my fiance is lazy because isn’t working full time while going to school. He starts student teaching on January 4th, so please, tell me how he is supposed to work full time while being in a classroom from 7:30 to 5 everyday. Yes, I agree completely with anyone who says you need to have a financial strategy laid out because if the money does work, then you’re screwed. We have crunched the numbers into a fine powder and are very comfortable. On my income alone, we pay all our bills, rent, groceries, and are able to save $7,000 between October 2011 and July 2012 to pay for our wedding. My parents seem to be ignoring the fact that I have a good job that pays me more than enough to live off of. I don’t mind being the sole bread winner. In actuality, I prefer it that way. When my parents got married, my dad was still in college and my mom was the only one with a job, but according to my mother “that’s different”. When Jon and I get married, he will have at least graduated and presumably have some kind of job somewhere. There are dozens of teaching positions opening up for next school year and only 6 people are graduating this semester from the local university who could apply for those positions, not to mention positions that will be available in the surrounding areas. I understand why people would be concerned about my fiance not currently having a job, the two of us have certainly discussed this already and are not lightly entering into the decision of marriage.  

At this point, my main concern is how to deal my with parents for the remainder of our engagement. My mom didn’t want to see the ring or the dress this weekend, didn’t want to hear about plans, and my dad didn’t really speak to anyone so that pretty well put the kibosh on wedding talks with him. They have not said if they will be contributing financially and right now I don’t even feel like accepting money from them would be a good idea since they are being so controlling and pushy. If this attitude from them continues, do I tell them to shape up or they can’t come to the wedding? Do I try to kill them with kindness and talk about wedding stuff even if they don’t want to hear it? Do I push for a relative to say something to my parents? Because nothing I say seems to get through to them. How do I make my parents understand that when I get married is not their decision? I want to enjoy my engagement and be excited to talk about it instead of nervous about what my parents are going to try and pull next. Just to clarify, I am 21, the fiance is 23 (will be 22 and 24 by the wedding), we have been dating for three years, and I am financially independent of my parents.

-M.

Dear M,

Before I tell you what I think and before I offer any suggestions, I want you to ask yourself this: Do my fiancé and I have the kind of love that is supportive, kind and true?  The kind we all should courageously strive for and not settle for less?

I’m going to assume that your answer is  “Yes!!” so let me continue;

Your parents love you in the way they know how.  And they feel (from their vantage point) that you would be happy if you continued to develop and perfect the talents that you showed them in your youth.  Choosing a man of the same religion would add to that happiness, in their opinion.  You not doing what “they believe” is best for you is much easier for them to explain if they can blame it on someone other than you or themselves.  Your fiancé therefore becomes a convenient and unfortunate scapegoat.  (By the way, know that you and your fiancé are not to blame for your parents’ feelings and behavior, even though you have likely wondered what you might have done along the way to prompt such a response.)

There are parents who want you to be happy and will be supportive and nonjudgmental in whatever ways you ask or don’t ask of them.  They prepare you for life and then root for you as you go out and pursue your dreams, whatever they may be.

There are also parents who want you to be happy but in their minds, it is only if you let them guide you, will you achieve that happiness.  These parents, unfortunately and often unknowingly, prepare you for a life that makes their happiness more important than yours.

Sadly, it seems that you do not have the nonjudgmental ones.  So…… What do you do?

I think you plan your wedding and your life without any expectations of financial help from them, or any change of heart from them, or any epiphany coming to them.

Do not ask them anything that could result in an answer that might upset you.  Continue to show them your love and respect. But, keep phone calls and visits short and sweet.

Invite them to the wedding without requesting assurances of any kind from them.  Hopefully, seeing you confidently taking mature control of your life and the events surrounding your wedding, your mom and then your dad will see you in a different and more positive light.

If this works, and I hope it does, you and your fiancé and your parents will have the happiness that we all want.  If not, you will know that you tried your best.

In the grand scheme of things, there are the people who show you love without condition, and there are the others.  You build your life with the ones in the first part of that sentence.

Much love, Miss M.

And to finish up this post, here’s a little video.  You know… to lighten the mood a smidge, if you need the mood lightened for a sec.

I totally like to make him guess.  This video is very true to life.

Ok.  I’d really like to turn the answering of today’s reader question over to you guys.  What are your thoughts on Miss M’s situation?  Perhaps you have some advice?  Or maybe some of you can identify with some part of it, or have seen a friend go through it?  I’d love to hear your thoughts in general.

Final note to the world… I want people to know that this is certainly not a unique problem to have, and I think it’s very important to know that people who struggle through something like this are by no means alone in what they’re experiencing.

xoxo!  - Alison

Lavender & Twine is a member of Vendor Love.  Explore more of Lavender & Twine’s work here, in our guide.

To see the rest of the shoot shown in today’s lead image, click here.

Happy late Thursday, my friends!  This post is wedding-centric in nature, so I do want to apologize if you were looking for something more “how do i secure my breasts so they stop bouncing”-oriented, as someone who visited the blog searched earlier today.

If you came here by searching “I’m trying not to fart so often,” well then… then I don’t really know what to say.  I’m not sur-I mean, maybe don’t eat things that do that to- actually, I really just……… best of luck.  Best of luck to you.

Ok, now to get to this post.  Tell me you guys, didja get all your holiday shopping done yet?  If you answered no, it’s ok me neither.  ’Cause there’s definitely still time.  ….. wait, right?  There IS still time, correct?  S**t.  There is like zero more time, isn’t there.  Maybe I’ll just stuff it down deep and engage denial for now, so I can write this post…

Heather of Heather Scharf Photography submitted today’s killer shindig and I’ve been so excited to feature it, you guys.  And it’s not just because Heather’s awesome, even though omigodshesois.  It’s because this bride is one of those triple threat brides.  She’s got the looks, she’s got the personality and she’s got the – well, I don’t want to be crass… so I’ll just say she’s got the chutzpah to ride a freaking MECHANICAL BULL at her own wedding.  That’s cojones-fueled, amigos.  So I love her.  Naturally.  :)

The other huge reason I’ve been so excited to feature it is – do you remember that Dear TKB post “Let your haters be your motivators…” where a young woman and her fiance had had a child and now were getting crap for wanting to have a wedding?  Well, today’s couple has the cutest little boy I’ve seen for miles, and they also had this wedding extravaganza with which I am obsessed.  And it just goes to show, people with children are F**KING AWESOME AT WEDDINGS.  Just fyi.

Here’s a bit from Heather:

No words can describe how amazing this wedding was…I guess if you knew Janay and Rory, describing them would be pretty close to how I would describe this day! It was full of horsing around, bull riding, costumes and of course a “Shot Bar” and “Margarita Bar”. Rory and Janay are known for their sense of humor and carefree approach to life. It was an honor to be invited as a guest but most importantly invited to capture this amazing day and witness the fun loving vows they gave. I have to admit, I did chock back a few tears when I saw Janay come down the stairs with her father to the song “Marry Me” by Train. She looked so beautiful and watching their son, Jeramy, and Rory wait for her at the alter was just touching. The details of the day were AMAZING! Holland Ranch is a rustic venue complete with a field of horses, a windmill, a man made lake and of course a huge barn filled with vintage beer signs and an old saloon inspired stage. The venue needs little to no decorations, but I absolutely LOVED the handmade signs done on Etsy, the Bridesmaids purses made on Etsy, and of course the handmade Vow book made on…Yes, you guessed it Etsy! Janay’s creativity really shined through with her idea of herding people to their tables with guests’ names on barn animal cutouts. One of the many highlights of the evening was Rory’s performance of “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” by the Rolling Stones, and let me tell you…this was American Idol final round quality!!

And here are a few words from our stunning bride, Janay:

Holland Ranch was the perfect venue for our guest centered and non-traditional wedding.  It screamed rip roaring party and we knew it was the perfect place to throw one heck of a shindig the moment we stepped foot on to the gorgeous country property.  The focus of our planning was 100% revolved around our guest as well as creating an out of the box experience.  No speeches, no first dances, no garter/bouquet toss, no cake cutting, just a good time without the cookie cutter elements.  Animal crackers and juice boxes were served on silver platters for our small VIP guests (children), beer boot mugs and the shot bar catered to our party animals and the margarita machines and mechanical bull got the attention of everyone else.  We ditched the traditional guest book and had a video option attached to our photo booth.  Why read guest well wishes when we can watch them over and over again for years to come?!

Dinner was served family style to incorporate Janay’s loud Italian family as well as to encourage our guests to interact with others at their table.  We had quite a few children at our event so our goal was to incorporate them into the evening while giving their parents a chance to enjoy themselves and that they did!  This was accomplished by giving each kid a custom embroidered tote bag with activities catered to their age, along with a kids table in a “No Adults” zone.  The biggest hit among the kids (and parents since it seemed to occupy the small ones for quite some time) seemed to be the photo scavenger hunt.  Each child was provided with a disposable camera and a list of items to capture throughout the night.  Copies of all photos are being sent to every mini-photographer as our special thanks to them for helping us capture the evening.

Gnoshua (our traveling gnome) was visible during our ceremony and moved throughout the night by our wedding coordinator.  At one point we found him on stage with the band after he was stationed at the shot bar for a period of time. Everywhere we looked, he was somewhere new and unexpected and we loved it!  He definitely hit up the wedding hot spots of the evening. Matt & The One Night Band filled the dance floor and had kids and adults of all ages rocking out the entire night.   The crowd went wild when the band pulled the groom up for a hit by the Rolling Stones.

Not only was the wedding packed with fun details and entertainment, it was also filled with meaning. Janay’s brother was a Marine killed in the Iraq war in 2004.  In order to include his memory into our day, it was a no brainer to incorporate his favorite color, yellow into our color scheme.  The two hawks soaring over the ceremony was a reminder that he was smiling down on us and was with us in spirit.  We had an amazing time surrounded by the people we love and knowing our guests truly enjoyed themselves.

Advice for future brides… Something will go wrong regardless of how much time you put into planning.  Qualifying and having the right team of vendors who can jump in and resolve problems is essential.  Also, don’t be afraid to take a shot right before walking down the aisle.  It totally helps calm nerves, especially if you dislike being center of attention.  It also helps to get the party started right :)

Every woman deserves to have her man look at her the way Rory looked at Janay right here ↴

Ok ladies and gents, here’s the wee little treat I mentioned.  I’ve been meaning to introduce him for a little while now, and enough of you have mentioned it to pretty much force it to happen.  So without further adieu, a Living Moment in the Life of Bambino McPuppyPants…

:)  I hope you liked it.  If you did, tell me below if you’d enjoy seeing more of the munchkin, and I’ll make more videos. :)

So, tell me:

1. Omigod I know; I sound like a ridiculous ridic in the video with Bambino.  But he needed a little coaxing to speak, so… well, I had to make the stupid sounds.  Like a stupid. :]

2. Are you loving the succulents factor in this wedding???   I IS.

3. How cool is that bride?  Riding that bull?  I’d be so worried about my hair/makeup/undercarriage being revealed/barfing.

xoxo!  - Alison

Heather Scharf Photography is a member of Vendor Love.  Explore more of her work here, in our guide.

Photography: Heather Scharf Photography / Submitted via Two Bright Lights / Caterer: In Good Taste Catering, Inc. / Floral Designer: April’s Flowers / Reception Venue: Holland Ranch / Band: Matt Cross and the One Night Band / Equipment Rentals: Cathy’s Action Packed Fun Jumps

Happy Friday afternoon, dahlinks!  This holiday post is all Bam, all the time.  Nothing but Bam.  So just a heads up there, if you hate puppies.  (Some people actually hate puppies.)

So!  Since it’s the holiday season, I think it’s safe to assume that quite a few of you, or your friends, or your relatives or random people you’ve met on the street and don’t know anymore (I’m trying to cover my bases here) might be getting engaged over the next week or two.  Eh?  Eh?  That’s one of the great things about the holiday season, amirite?  Well- at least I think so.  But yeah, so if any of that nonsense happens over the weekend, I SOOOO wanna hear about it next week!

By the way, Honey and I made a fun ‘wall tree’ last week (which is fully decorated now but when we took this photo we were still figuring out the structure, so pardon the bareness and hideous red masking tape!) and we wanted to document the process in photos.  Anyway there were some funny outtakes involving Bambino that I thought I’d share with you guys.  You tend to get some weird shots when you position your puppy’s food and drink bowls right under your tree.

Christmas tree on a wall and a puppy’s ballsac. ballsack?  Balzac?

Alison, you are nothing if you are not Dr. Mrs. Classy McClasserson, D.D.S.

Aaaaaaand finally… A (Holi-)Day in the Life of Bambino McPuppyPants…

Happy Merry Everything, friendlies!  Looking forward to seeing you all next week!  Have a lovely holiday weekend!

And always remember… TKB loves ya, babe.  Loves ya right in tha FACE.  So much it hurts.

xoxo!  - Alison

P.S. – I’m curious; what are your holiday plans?  Are you traveling to visit relatives you love/hate/love to hate/hate but love/can’t wait to see/like seeing but everything in moderation?  Anybody still scrambling for gifts LIKE ME?

P.P.S. – Holy mother.  I spent an insane amount of time getting that tinsel text outline just right.  An insane amount.  Like, all day… if I’m honest with you.  Who does that?  Seriously who does that?  Just when I thought I couldn’t get any more ridiculous…

Happy Tuesday evening, darlings.  Did you get what you wanted this weekend?  I got the gift of family, friends and a Radiohead concert next March from Honey.  DREAM GIFT, and I didn’t even know I wanted it that bad.  Downside of Christmas: Honey unwittingly said “creampie” when a new-to-the-family young lady asked “ooohh, what kind of kind of dessert is this?”, pointing to the jello pudding whipped cream pie.  They both immediately looked away and down, were silent for what, three hours?  That’s what it felt like.  It was probably around 2 seconds.  They then parted ways, never to speak again.  Probably forever and ever, amen.

Good times!  GTs.

Ok SO!  Tell me what you got for Christmas if that’s what you celebrate!!!!  I love hearing this stuff, it’s weird.  I just love hearing it.

By the way I wanted to show you what Bambino’s grandparents got him for Christmas:

It’s a puffy winter jacket, because he gets cold when it’s chilly outside; his limbs and bell do a little shimmy shake thing and it’s kind of cute but it’s also kind of sad.

My parents got him the coat a size or seven too big, so Bambino pretty much got a cape for Christmas.  Which makes his present 1000% cooler than it was.  #winning.  He’s my little superhero so I’m happy with it.  And he sort of looks like he’s flying in that image.  I like it.

Ok.  This one’s a toughie.

Dear TKB:

My fiancé and I are getting married next year in the fall.  Actually I should be clear – we’re having *our wedding* in the fall.  It’s important to clarify that because my query involves the fact that we might – emphasis on might – actually go ahead and have a quickie marriage ceremony before the new year.  Which I guess means in the next four days.  Why?  Recently my fiancé found out from the accountant that we could save in excess of $10,000 USD if we made it legal in 2011.  Important details: we certainly aren’t rolling in it by any stretch, but it’s not like we’re choosing between food or prescriptions, either.  So it’s mostly about how he’s just thinking it would be silly to pay an additional $10,000 in taxes when we could just as easily have a little impromptu ceremony at the courthouse, thereby saving $10,000; most of which we could put towards the wedding next year.  A good thing, when I look at it from a practical perspective.

He’s already looked into the laws in NY where we live, and it turns out we could realistically get ‘er done over the span of two days.  (Can you believe it’s that easy?  I thought you had to have a blood test, etc.)  Anyway.  He told me he’s just thinking in terms of being a provider, and that if this is going to impact me in a negative way emotionally, he doesn’t want us to go through with it.

My dilemma is this: I try really hard not to let money impact really big decisions or changes of life plans (except in necessary cases of course), and I know in my heart that I would prefer we wait to file the papers and have that incredible moment of actually being married happen much closer to the time we have our wedding.  I never really grow attached to specific hopes and dreams, as I’m more of a “live life in the present” kind of person.  It’s more fun that way, I think.  But this whole marriage thing is something I’ve been really committed to having documented beautifully, with a photographer, hopefully a videographer, and at least my immediate family present.  I just want to be able to look back on the day we officially became a wedded couple with fondness.  If I can avoid it, I’d rather our story not be “Kids, mommy and daddy rushed their ceremony into the last few days of 2011 because they realized they could save 10K.  The End.” :)  Maybe I’m being silly?  I don’t know anymore.  I’ve been rolling this around in my head for the last two full days and I’m at a loss for what to do.

Like I said, I know in my heart that I’d much rather save it instead of rush this hugely meaningful series of minutes (signing the license, etc.).  I know this because it makes me sad, and I’ve already teared up once about it, when I think about going through with the rushed ceremony.  I think if we had more time, and could fly our photographer out to document it and I could get a nice dress maybe, I think I’d be 1000% more willing to go through with the quickie version, you know?

BUT ON THE OTHER HAND.  I’m a saver by nature, and so I definitely see the point/benefit of saving $10,000.  Who wouldn’t want to save it, especially if it was this easy?  And that’s a whole lot of money that we can rain on the wedding.  Or on everyday life stuff.  Or a much need vacation since we both work way too hard.  Or the hospital bill when we have a baby one day in the future.  Or whatever.

I’m having the worst time deciding which way to go.  Am I just being overly emotional?  Will I get over it?  Please help me figure this out, Knotty community.  Thanks, I appreciate it.

R.

Dear R,

Oh boy.  This… this, is a tough one.  I’m a saver, too, so I feel you on your indecision, and $10,000 is approximately a lot of dollah bills y’all.  I mean, you could buy so much with $10,000, right?!  You could buy a car for $10,000.  You could donate $10,000 to charity and make a huge impact.  You could buy the most amazeballs vacation, like you said, with $10,000.  You could start a college fun for your future babies, even though interest rates are s**t these days.  You could supercharge your wedding with $10,000.  You could never have to clip a coupon for the next full year.

Not sure if you can buy back your hopes and dreams, though, with $10,000.  Jury’s still out on that one.

Ok, I’m turning it over to you guys now and hoping you might be willing to offer Miss R your suggestions/thoughts/reactions.  FYI, Miss R has what? like, a day to make this decision.  Yikes.

xoxo!  - Alison

Vanessa Joy Photography is a member of Vendor Love.  Explore more of her work here, in our guide.

This is happening.

Happy Thursday evening, friends.  I want to start by saying this is a long, deeply personal post.  For your face.  And while I like the LOLs at the end of it a lot, it’s the story that’s the point.  Ok, here we go.  We’re gonna start out light.  Ease into it.

Ok, SO listen.  I think there are still some people out there who don’t think I have the berries, OR the balls to make the lead image on TKB a puppyface.  Like, solely face, directly inside of the face.  But as you can see I just wrote the word ‘balls’ on a wedding blog so this whole “I bet she doesn’t have the balls” thing should be a non-issue.  Also, I feel like I’ve done this before.  But just in case the remaining few who don’t believe in my utter strength to be this weird on paper are indeed reading today, well there it is.  And for everyone else who sees the giant puppy face and thinks, “business as usual on TKB today,” well see?  I am who you think I am.

Moving on – yesterday, I was up late finishing up some stuff for a magazine thing coming out next year (did you see what I did there?  that was the zenith of braggy sounding back there) and when I looked it over, I couldn’t help but be reminded of what this blog is about, for me.  Yes, it’s a wedding blog, at its core.  I mean, obviously.  No one’s- is anyone disputing that?  Pretty sure no one’s arguing that point.  But I feel like it’s so much more than that, for me personally, as the editor.  It’s everything I’ve always imagined it should be, when I first started it way back when.  Which boils down to it being that thing you call a dream come true.

I knew I never wanted to just straight feature weddings without also sharing commentary from my life and experiences.  My dream for the blog was basically taking two sort of disparate things and mixing them together in a way that wasn’t absolutely normal, or that had been proven effective… which amounts to it being rather daunting.  But more than that, it was exhilarating to move my life into that sort of project.  There’s a quote I know that I’m forgetting right now, but it’s something like, right when you leave your comfort zone, is when you start living.  Or something like that.  That quote rings true for me because I feel like I’ve lived a vastly fuller existence, and met more interesting, creative people, and more deeply explored the outer reaches of what it is to be a creative person and to run a business, than I think ever before.  All since starting TKB.  Which is pretty ironic given I’ve never spent more time sitting in front of a computer screen in my entire life.  But it is what it is.  You take the good with the bad, right? :)

ENGAGE PUG LOL BREAK…… PUG LOL BREAK ENGAGED:

BACK TO POST OF SERIOUSNESS:

Anyway the first ingredient of the plan was to feature killer weddings + crazy, stupid, love ;) + amazeballs imagery.  You know, the stuff that really inspires us.  The stuff we can’t remove our eyeballs from.  In that vein, I do want to give some advice.  I think it’s really important to set certain personal standards with regard to the content you feature, and to stick by them.  That can be hard, and rejection is never easy to give or to receive.  And in the beginning you worry about the frequency of submissions, and think you might need to feature something that (gasp!) doesn’t inspire you, personally.  But here’s the rub: sticking to your standards of quality, and learning to say no, those are two of the major tenets for success, if you ask me.  And blogging is no exception.

Ok, the second ingredient.  This is the part where I get to share my real life stories and just daily stuff with you guys.  Like, real stuff.  This part is really important to me.  Here let me tell you a little about myself so you see where I’m coming from and why this second ingredient is so meaningful to me.  My natural state of being is to love my alone time.  I could probably spend three full days, straight through, without human contact, and not be unhappy about it.  Just working on some project in hyperfocus, or even watching a string of great movies (though they’d have to be really amazeballs movies to keep me in for three days, I’m tellin’ ya).  I am someone who loves being on my own, and exploring my world.  Dancing erratically is a big part of that, as I’m sure you’ve picked up along the way.  Time alone is a good thing, I think, for all of us to grab onto if we can get it.  Even if it’s 20 minutes, and grandma takes the babies for a little bit into another room.  I’m not a mother yet so I don’t know that life, but I’ve certainly learned A LOT about it from other mothers I know.  Anyway so yeah, alone time is the s**t.  But an always alarming-at-first facet of my personality is that when I do go out for whatever event I have that night, or date night, or time with friends, or whatever, I’m the same person.  The same person who loves her alone time.  But the difference is that I’m hurtling that person onto whatever amount of people I’m chillin’ with.  And it’s the interaction that reminds me how much I live for connecting with other people.  Especially people who are open to connecting.  I love connecting with people like crazy.  And that’s where blogging comes in.  Blogging has been a ridonkulously great way to connect, for me.  There’s something inexplicably beautiful and emotionally satisfying to the act of sharing personal stuff with other like-minded people, and you guys, my readers, are totally exactly the kinds of people I live for connecting with.  Because you’re fun, cool and you don’t care that I just savagely violated the rules of grammar in that previous sentence.

Our back-and-forths, with each and every one of you who at whatever point decided to step out from lurking and actually converse with me, in the comments, on twitter, wherever – each of you have made me laugh out loud, or think, or reconsider a position, or feel reinforced… you’ve even helped me through difficult times.  We all know that the reality of life is that it ebbs and it flows, and you’ve been more helpful than you may ever know, when it’s ebbed.

So I just want to say thank you, even though saying thank you doesn’t seem like enough.  Please do come in for the hug.  (I wish you could come in for the real thing, but we do what we can with what we’re given.)

Ok now.  Here’s the last thing before I SHUT.  THEEFFUP.  A lot of people ask me for insight with regard to blogging and business ownership and making it profitable and this and that and the other.  I used to give detailed assessments of blogs and try to guide the blogger, but that was ages ago, when I had that elusive thing called *free time.*  And so I just figured I’d share it here on the blog real quick so it can reach more people than just those who reach out and ask.  Because I have like zero time these days to respond directly and personally to every person who asks.  I hate that, since I’m committed in maybe an unhealthy way to remain very personal in all of my correspondence, no matter what.  I don’t ever want to get to a point where I’m not reachable, like, on a human level.  Punch me through the face if that ever happens, k?  As a wake-up call.

Wait, am I making any sense right now?  Because I’m weirdly still sick in the face and the body.  I can’t get over this cold, it’s a bit disconcerting.  So- making sense?

Ok ANYWAY, as I was saying – here it is, my best insight: I knew, from the get-go, that the key to success…… ‘real’ success; the kind that’s not just monetary, but emotionally fulfilling as well…… was a) the awareness and effective use of what I recognized as my own inherent talents (we’re all born with our own, you just have to figure them out), and b) the willingness to work hard as F**K to make my dream of The Knotty Bride a reality.  Like, full immersion in the field.  Like, embedded in the infantry kind of immersion.  Like, you will not sleep for weeks, months even, and things will go wrong along the way, I guarantee it, but you must persevere, if this is truly what you want, what you’re good at, and you feel you have something to offer the world.  Because you do that with your dreams, right?  You work hard at them, you shed blood, sweat, tears, you bang a few suits to break through that glass ceiling, maybe some handjobs along the way, hooking helps – you know, the usual stuff people do to make things happen.  What’s that?  They don’t?  Wait, WHUUUUUUUUUUUT?

Now, a quick unrelated comment.  ”Wake up and smell the p***y” is not creative writing, Lil Wayne.  It’s not called “being an artist” anymore when there’s a line like that in your song.  I’d love to see you try a little bit harder in the new year, ok.  You have it in you.  I think?  Actually I guess you don’t, you don’t seem to have it in you.

Ok I’m wrapping it up here, now.  As you know it’s Thursday evening here and I’ve been listening to a Pandora station based entirely off of Rihanna for the entire day, which does something to your brain.  And your feets.  And I’m convinced at this point that I missed my calling as a Fly Girl after all this dancing today.  But when I wasn’t dancing I was searching for funnies for your faces, for this post.  What better stuff to blog about on the Thursday before the New Year?  AMIRITE?  Anyway so I’m coming off of five full (nonconsecutive) hours of looking at puppehs and kittehs on the world wide web, and I think I found the meaning of life somewhere in that time.  I feel transcendent, floating on a cloud of love and funny puppy kitty faces and this has to be what love and happiness is, right?  Unfortunately I think I used up an unfair share of the world’s ration of good times so I’m fully anticipating a disproportionately unfulfilling evening as appropriate punishment.

Anyway, here’s what I found.  Maybe because the lol searching was for the blog/your eyes, and therefore, entirely charitable in nature, I won’t have a shittay evening?  Here’s hoping.

K, enjoyificate!

By the way, I finally caught Bambino sniffing his own fart.  I’ve always wanted to capture hard proof of this, and I feel pretty validated right now.  Behold:

Ok last but not least…

Oh wait, THIS is the last but not least thing – a peek at the New Year’s Eve Party we’re going to drop onto the internet’s face around New Year’s time.

See?  I keep with my themes. ;)

Are you psyched for that party inspiration?  BECAUSE I AM.

Ok, friends.  I sincerely hope you enjoyed the random diarrhea that fell out of my mouth today.  ’cause holy mother.  Seriously WTF?

If you were worried, I’m blogging a wedding of amazingness tomizzle.  Ok it looks like “-izzle” doesn’t work in every scenario.  I meant ‘tomorrow’ by that.  I’m going to talk to Snoop about a proper-use manual.  But yeah, so I saved a perfect wedding for last.  Front and center tomorrow, my loves.  Apologies in advance if your face melts when you see it.

Tomorrow I’ll also be sharing some of the stuff I’m climaxing over for 2012.

Do let me know your thoughts, on any of this crazy s**t, will you?  I live for your feedback, however lengthy or brief.  But you already knew that.

xoxo!  - Alison

{Image credits} Frenchie at top: Perou / LOLs: i can has cheezburger / F**k Yeah Frenchies / F**k Yeah Pugs

You guys.  You.  Guysssies.  Yaguysssiesies.

It’s Friday afternoon/eveningish depending on your geographical location, and I freaking love this wedding in the FACE.  Lemme tell ya the biggest reason, real quick – Trish and her now husband Eric set out to plan this wedding in TWO MONTHS.  And guess how long it actually took?  FIVE YEARS.

Hehe no, I’m kidding.  It literally came together in TWO MONTHS, as planned.  Unheard of?  Not anymore, biznitches.

Also, her writeup about her wedding day is sort of exactly how my writeup of my wedding day is probably going to read.  (OMG.  Don’t quote me on that when it goes COMPLETELY out of hand.  Also, sorry that I’m CAP ATTACKING you today, don’t know where that’s coming from.)

Before we get to the wedding, I do want to address something that I mentioned on Twitter I would be providing some commentary.  Which is industry jargon for I’m about to release the Kraken on some f**ked up ish that’s going on with weddings these days in Tinseltown.  Y’all.

OPEN LETTER TO CELEBRITIES: You should stop getting married.  I know I’m a wedding blogger and I’m supposed to be a marriage proponent but it makes me livid watching so many tinseltown couples getting hitched and then choosing to ditch when it feels less than perfect or the going gets tough.  Specifically when I’m so hyperaware of the fact that celebrities who consistently mistake lust for love are allowed to get hitched without question, and not take it seriously…. while other human beings are not permitted to, BY LAW.  WTF, society.  WTF?!!!!!!!!!1111111

Also, I’m starting to worry that there are some celebrities who are looking at weddings as publicity stunts.  Which is a horrific thought, if you think about it.  But it certainly would explain more realistically why they just DON’T EVEN F**KING TRYYYYYYYY to reconcile differences anymore.  It’s really irritating, and if I were not permitted the right to get married, I can’t even imagine how angry/upset/confused I would be.  Let everyone get married.  It doesn’t threaten anything.  It doesn’t.  threaten.  anything.

Ok, I’m going to very awkwardly switch gears now, back into this amazing wedding.  I just wanted to get that off my chest today, on the heels of the Russell Brand + Katy Perry divorce news.  Ok, awkwardly and effectively without proper transition, here we go…

I am uncomfortable about the sheer amount of excitement I have over this wedding I’m sharing with you today, submitted by the always amazeballs and hella calm, cool and collected Rima of Rima Campbell Photography.  She is an amazeballs.  A fully cocked, pure, uncut piece of amazeballsness.

Ok seriously, as a side note: I need a new weirdo word to use in the new year – new year, new word – any suggestions?  It can be a nuance of ‘amazeballs’ or something completely different.  Suggest away and I think what I’ll do is, in 2012, do a blog post with my top 10 favorite reader suggestions for a replacement word for “amazeballs” and we’ll see where that takes us.  no really I’m serious.  No seriously.  

Ok, now I want you to check out the excellent verbiage provided by our gorgeous bride, Trish:

When we first got engaged, there was no question that my fiance, Eric (now, my husband!) and I were enthusiastic about getting married. However the idea of the actual wedding and the planning that went along with it was a whole other story. We had visions of elopements and city hall dancing in our heads, all the while my very large family and its tradition of too-large-for-us weddings made it difficult to fully embrace our own ideas about our day. I was a reluctant bride, to say the least. 

All we really wanted was something simple that was truly focused on what we were building and not what we were or were not spending. In addition to that, food was a primary concern. Anyone who knows us can vouch for the fact that we are both very passionate about food.  

After considering what felt like every option imaginable, we decided to stay true to our vision of a small and intimate affair. We also realized there was no need to wait over a year as we had initially planned. We proceeded to put everything together in a little over 2 months. Everyone says this, but somehow everything just came together. The perfect local venue with fantastic food—Brooklyn Winery. Check. Extremely talented and down-to-earth photographer—Rima Campbell. Check. Beautiful custom invites by a coworker and friend. Check. Then little by little, any frustrations I felt about pricing and talents of other prospective vendors fell by the wayside as my friends and family jumped in to help. Our gorgeous flowers, the delicious banana pudding, my hair and make-up, these were all their handiwork. Eric put together all the music and I took care of some personal touches for the decor, but everything else seemed to be covered.  

It was a wonderful day, free of stressful moments.  It all went by in a blur of laughter and joy!

HOW COOL IS THIS CINEMAGRAPH RIMA CREATED?  On a scale of 1 to 10, how cool.  I’ll be collecting your tests at the end of this cinemagraph:

Ok, put down your pencils.  If you answered “it’s a 10,” you got a hundred on the test.  Next time I see you I’ll be sticking a “You’re a Star!” sticker on your forehead.  Get excited!  They’re pretty stickers, they have glitter on them.

How GORGEOUS is her ring.  OMFG.

I think this guy deserves the Wedding VIP award – created today, out of necessity – for just hamming it up for Rima like only a true good sport could.

↑ Oh how I love this image.  Oh oh ohhhhh how I love it.  All up.  Love it up. ↑

Oh, and that single most important key to the perfect wedding… marriage… and life, in general that I hinted at on Twitter earlier?  It’s almost so simple that I kinda feel like a dork saying it… but I also want to make sure I remind people as much as possible even if I start coming off pedantic and annoying about it.  It’s worth that.  So, the key:

Keep smiling. :)

And if you can, do it through your whole entire wedding day, like today’s beautiful young lady did.  She’s seriously an inspiration to us all, with the smiling.  Personally I get these hideous laugh lines around my mouth if I smile too much.  Which pretty much means I have hideous laugh lines around my mouth twenty four seven.  Because I smile, like a lot.  Like, a LOT.  I can’t really help it, I find a lot of things funny.  Honey would argue approximately 75% of those things are indeed NOT actually funny.  But that’s Honey.  And then he laughs, because he can’t keep a straight face for more than .3 seconds.

OKIE DOKIE SMOKIE!  A couple of questions, if you’d like to chat…

1) Did you see this coming, with Russell and Katy?  Or were you hopeful for them?  Or did/do you not give one ounce of a s**t, and think I need to move on to the next question?

2) What do you think of this wedding?  It’s much more simple than most we feature, but for that same reason it’s one of my favorites.  Simplicity and smiles are two of my most beloved features when it comes to weddings.  I love details, YOU KNOW THAT ABOUT ME, but the occasional straight-forward all-about-the-love wedding gets me.  It gets me right here.  *points to heart*

Happy Almost New Year, you guys!  I love you so hard!  - Alison

Rima Campbell Photography is a member of Vendor Love.  Explore more of her work here, in our guide.

Photographer: Rima Campbell Photography / Getting Ready Venue: Hotel Williamsburg / Ceremony + Reception Venue: The Brooklyn Winery / Caterer: The Brooklyn Winery / Cake: Nine Cakes / Banana Pudding: Bride’s very good friend Swan / Florist: Bride’s very good friend Mel / Makeup: Bride’s Sister, Marquesa / Hair: Bride’s Best-friend, Ava / Invitation and Wedding Announcement Design: Misako Ishida  / Dress: J.Crew / Hairpiece: BHLDN / Jewelry: J.Crew, Anthropoligie / Bride’s Shoes: Dolce Vita / Groom’s Suit: Indochino / Groom’s Shoes: Hugo Boss / Groom’s Tie: Original Penguin