Just FYI-
If saving the world ends up being about me having to print out a document using my personal at-home printer, without assistance from others or an unlimited supply of printer paper on which to inexplicably mess up,
apologies ahead of time for your death.
You remember how Honey and I went to the doctor together last week for a couple’s appointment thingie? the only way anyone is able to get me to go to the doctor these days? because I’m so busy but actually it’s because I’m too afraid to get bad news? This is about that.
I can’t get my printer I have at home to print. The only thing I can get this printer to do is to continually sap my will to live. The irony of this is not lost on me, since what I’m effectively trying to do here is print, sign, scan and email a release form to that doctor’s office so that they’ll be able to call Honey, instead of me, with what I’m scared is going to be bad news on the *continuing to live* front about the biopsies they took of some questionable freckles I had on ma body. (Ok they are moles. Btw- can we please start calling *moles* freckles? that would help me not to feel like a heretic witch from the 1500s, thx).
1600s? I dropped out of AP History. <== does this quality as a #humblebrag? if so I’m truly sorry.
I officially hate irony by the way.
I’ve never before been so afraid to get a result, and I’ve had to take like three pregnancy tests in the last five years so, I’m going pretty batshit crazy here. A nurse would be able to spot an available vein from two miles away without the use of a zoom lens, is how fear-pale I am. I am paler than I was in high school when the kids on the softball team told me I was so pale that my children are going to be see-thru. If this were a video blog I would be 50 shades of fear-induced-paleness, talking about how to stay calm and attractive on your wedding day. I would lose half of my readership with a single video. As you can see I am in a mindset of worst case scenarios right now so, new topic? New topic.
So you still into Ryan Gosling?
I didn’t think I still was. Fact, I was convinced that my relationship with Ryan Gosling that only one of us knows about was officially over, and I had broken up with fantasizing about sitting on his face while he waxes romantic in a weird fake Brooklyn accent contrived to make him less ‘Canadian.’ A weird choice, since ‘Canadian’ is television’s official language.
And then something happened. My Dad emailed me on Monday, November 12th letting me know it was Ryan Gosling’s bday, proving to me two things; that I have to get a handle on how often I work Ryan Gosling into my conversations with relatives, and that I am still TOTALLY INTO BABY GOOSE.
Take this engagement shoot inspired by the movie The Notebook, as tribute.
Not talking to you -I was talking to Ryan. I’ll be home soon, Ry! You’ll find me anywhere you are, except 25 steps behind and dressed in camo. Because it’s STYLISH! The ladies are wearing camo these days, it’s hip! It is not because it allows me to stealthily track you while you travel from your home to the gym did I just say “track you” LOL. LOL I’m not tracking you. Wait why’d you stop walking? Stop leaning on that phone booth and keep walking, there’s nothing to worry about.
Thanks goes to Tanya Yoganathan of Impressions by Annuj for submitting a lovely shoot that follows one strikingly beautiful couple as they play out the Ryan Gosling-related scenarios which have always brought me *particular* joy. Where my uterus is. And also, thank you for just generally stirring deeply emotional reactions in me, to two people I have never met not even once but to whom I will forever feel connected romantically because of the movie that is their session’s namesake.
Here’s what Tanya shared about their session:
When we asked Niroshan and Renetha if they wanted to do a creative concept shoot and they (well… Renetha) responded with an emphatic “yes!”, we were thrilled as these types of shoots are what we love to do. After asking Rene if she had any themes in mind, she had said “The Notebook”. Now we were elated as this is a shoot that we’ve wanted to do for a long time. We found out during that chat that “The Notebook” was the first movie that these two love birds watched together (how sweet!).
There were three scenes that we mainly concentrated on:
1) their first meet at the carnival (followed by their romantic dance on the street)
2) summer ice cream date (the scene where Allie smooshes some ice cream into Noah’s face)
3) the abandoned barn/house (where their love grew and Noah also later rebuilt)
Our team covered the research, styling and props and the make up and hair was done by Deanna Rose Lourenco.
We are very pleased with the end result and Niroshan & Renetha were amazing to work with; they were very easy going and left all of the creativity to us. Can’t wait to shoot their wedding in just a few months!
ENGAGE: MEETING AT CARNIVAL
This is when they have their first meeting at a carnival, and later dance very romantically on the street, turning all of us on. For many, this is the first sexually-exhilarating encounter with the man, the myth, the legend.
The Gosling.
ENGAGE: SUMMER ICE CREAM DATE
I’s cream, you’s cream, we all’s cream for his biceps.
This is the part of the film when Allie smooshes Noah in the face with dessert, and I start dreaming about being the bit of ice cream that got into his mouth if there was any (need to brush up on my Notebook – clearly warrants a rewatch, tonight. who’s with me oh ALL OF YOU, great! Wow that fast, I’m excited!
.. Is there a Guinness World Record for number of women simultaneous reaching orgasm? Can someone look into that please before we all watch tonight?
ENGAGE: ABANDONED BARN ENCOUNTER
Where their love grew, and where Noah rebuilt.
This is the part of the film when they’re chilling in a barnhouse and generally being attractive/shooting pheromones out of their face pores.
Ok babes. Here’s my question:
Where are you at, as far as Mr. Ryan Gosling, the reigning Ultimate Supreme Princess of Long, Pregnant (and in some cases pregnancy-causing) Pauses & Also Bicep Strength?
Pick from the following or go rogue if you must…
a) not sure if I’m getting off as quickly/powerfully as I used to simply by imagining him in that scene in Blue Valentine when he was playing that game of peek-a-boo in between Michelle Williams’ legs
b) definitely still getting off as easily – I can’t even look a baby bird directly in the eye
c) I’m already onto the next brooding actor with a fake accent that, in a rare instance, I don’t even seem to mind
d) who is Ryan Gosling?
xx! - Alison
Photography: Impressions by Annuj / Lovely couple: Niroshan & Renetha
Ryan Gosling images: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 8