(↑ This wedding is giving me a contact high.)
BE WARNED: Menstruation makes for emotional blog posts. So if you are related to me, or have an *outtie* instead of an *innie* in that region about five inches beneath where *innies* and *outties* are typically used to reference a part of the body, then you’ll probably want to stop reading right around this point. Like now. Because it’s gonna get sticky icky icky. Ok? Stop reading. Stop. Stop it. Leave the site. (I’m serious, Dad. You don’t want any of this. I love our relationship, and I love that you care enough about me to read my blog… now let’s not ruin it all with something like this next sentence that YOU NEED TO NOT READ.)
It’s not even funny anymore how horny I am.
Sorry, happy Saturday afternoon, friends (and relatives who are still reading and therefore should consider themselves punched). I’m pumped to show you today’s hella chic wedding, which was submitted by the fabulously fantasmagoric Nichole of Ampersand Studios, because it is white hot fabulosity. In juuuuust a hot second. First, I wanna address something, because I’m starting to think I’m not normal. I mean in a new way - not normal in a *new* way – in addition to all previously mentioned/inferred ways I’m not normal. Ehhem. Yes.
I’m sure this has something to do with the fact that I hung out with Kristen of Haute Boudoir this week, and we talked boudoir, which has this funny way of getting you focused on T & A. Also Kristen’s hot. I can’t deny that. But I’m more concerned about the persistent lining up of my hornballness and my Shark Week. Am I alone in this? Anyone else ever experience this ironic double-edged sword? Typically I love twofers, but this is just mean. Saving grace is that it was sunny out yesterday and so far today, and there’s something about sunshine that lessens even the sharpest of uterine blows. But, OF COURSE, I chose to enhance my already debilitatingly heightened emotional state by listening to Adele, Jason Mraz, Ray LaMontagne and various other moody, emotionally-charged voices my Pandora station has been programmed to slam deep into my ears’ souls. (My ears have souls when I’m menstruating. My entire body has feelings. And during this time every month, it’s like they’re all suffering the emotional aftermath of being caught farting in social studies class by a popular girl right before lunch.) I should probably start throwing in some Rage Against the Machine or something similar to make the programming less tear duct aggressive. What would one call this listening to moody music while prone to moodiness… is it torture? Or is it “enhanced interrogation?”
I was hoping I’d get used to it by now but for some strange reason, every single month, I am genuinely bewildered by the heightened sensitivity that arrives immediately before the levies break. It’s so weird how I can’t remember that it’s just my period that’s doing it to me. Weird, right? ANYWAY. Thanks for reading about my vag.
Ok. I’ve been wanting to talk about this topic for a while now, so I’m glad someone finally asked me about it. I don’t know why it took this long, but anyway it’s here, and it’s happening, finally……
I don’t mean the topic of my vahine. We’re off my vahine now. I mean the topic I’m about to introduce with today’s…
QUESTION FROM A READER!
DEAR TKB:
I can’t decide what to do about this so I’m hoping you can give me some guidance. I have fair skin, but I do tan during the summer and on the very rare occasion we go on vacation. We’re from the northwest so our vacays usually involve beaches and margaritas, and tans. Point is I can tan, but I’m naturally a pretty pale person.
My problem is that I prefer how I look when I have a tan versus pale skin. But we’re having a winter wedding so I have to decide what to do about this stupid little issue of mine. For some reason I feel like I’m going against my truth or whatever if I get a spray tan for my wedding day. Is that lame? But I also really want to feel as pretty as possible!
Ugh. As you can see I’m probably making this into a way huger moral dilemma than it deserves to be but I can’t help myself. I realize I’m being superficial. I should just be thankful I’m marrying a kind man who loves me pale skin or not, right? I don’t what to do. I can’t stop obsessing about it!
Thank you in advance for your advice!
-R.
Dear R,
I’m gonna keep this completely real.
Lemme start by sharing that I have yet to do engage in a spray tanning session, but I am hardly against it. In fact I’m totally into the idea. I just haven’t found an entire day-into night-into another day of my life that I can devote to smelling like absolute s**t. Because that’s what spray tans do. Also it costs like $20 where I live to have sheets washed (our building is one of those lovely places devoid of a laundry facility).
Ok, now. When I’m feeling down, or have my period like now, I usually put on a really pretty outfit, one that makes me *feel pretty* and I UNDOUBTEDLY apply bronzer to my cheeks and/or entire face/neck. Because I know it always perks me up, and I feel more attractive with color. So I feel you on this. And while it IS a superficial dilemma, it’s intrinsic to being a human to be concerned about your appearance. There are a gazillion and two studies showing that appearance is The Major Factor in attraction, and so it’s natural for us to want to look our best. Especially when there’s gonna be a camera in our faces.
It’s clear to me that you like how you look much more when you have some color. So get spray tan, it’s no biggie. I don’t want you to give yourself a hard time about it; you’re making it into a life choice complete with self-inflicted repercussions, as if it’s indicative of some deep emotional struggle you haven’t addressed. Will you feel better and smile more and generally be happier if you have a spray tan? If so, there’s your answer. It’s not like you’re baking yourself in a tanning bed every day and purposely accelerating cancer. A spray tan is legit. EXPENSIVE. But legit. BUT VERY EXPENSIVE. But legit.
Now, I would like to address the public about skin tone and insecurity.
Even though I have no intention of stopping you, I DO NOT think everyone should go out and get a spray tan. Take Lindsey Lohan for example. She looks RIDICULOUS with a tan. Straight. Up. Redonk in the face. ’Course, it’s the least of her problems. But seriously her skin is so lovely whenever she returns to her normal porcelain state. Thus, spray tans are not for everyone. (If I had my way, I’d eradicate the whole obsessive tanning thing this nation has going on, but the desire to be tan is as old as time. Well, actually, movie stars. But whatever, it’s probably not going away.) So hear me out, please, anyone who’s listening…
WE ARE BEAUTIFUL, NO MATTER OUR SKIN COLOR. You don’t need a tan to look AMAZEBERRIES on your wedding day. Embracing your appearance, your natural appearance, has amazing consequences for your life and happiness. I’m from the NY as you know, and went to college in the south, and tanned often because my friends were doing it. But I’ve since returned to my natural look, and I’ve got to say, it’s such a relief. It’s just, easier, to live. To function. Without planning my next trip to the tanning salon. And while I still believe I look better with a tan, I don’t let it rule my life, because that’s just no fun. And I honestly don’t have time to let something other than me rule my life.
I’m sure there are lot of you out there who are like Miss R, and are debating getting spray tanned for your wedding. It does seem like everybody’s doing it, amirite? Well, I’m cool with what you do either way, I just really want everyone to know that there is gorgeousness and a lot to be said for keeping it au naturel. Case in point… this porcelain beauty named Courtney, who married this guy Justin, who loves her for everything she is, including her unbelievably gorgeous skin. Aside from the all the fantastic DIY details, I deeply hope this wedding will inspire my porcelain beauties out there to rock their natural gorgeousness…
First, the details on the wedding, from the lovely Nichole:
Courtney and Justin had a very thoughtful DIY wedding. All of the decor, planning, floral, and execution of most everything was done by the Bride. They had a theme: “Let My Love Open the Door” in which their letterpress invitations, matching print throughout the wedding, had a skeleton key and heart lock. They elegantly re-iterated the theme by placing antique keys and locks throughout the venue decor. All of the flowers were a fresh garden rose assortments and the men had simple boutonnieres made of grasses and small succulents, tied with pink bakers twine. The ceremony was in an indoor loft, the alter was a wall of antique doors behind them. The reception was elegantly put together- the table settings had a personally calligraphed name for each of the guests, inside was a donation to a charity from the bride and groom. Escort cards were tags dangling from assorted drawer pulls attached to a lone door against the wall. The centerpieces were a mixture of branches and dangling keys and locks to garden roses in antique vases; all of which were set on a bed of loose-leaf book pages, another detail that was repeated throughout the decor. Overall the event was beautifully executed and had so much of Courtney and Justin’s personality and charm in it all. There was so much love among everyone there for the happy couple and Ampersand Studios feels so blessed to have been a part of it.
Enjoy!
✭ a fedora on a toddler at a wedding = maximum adorable ✭
So my friends, I ask you…
1) Can you offer Miss R any advice/thoughts? And do you use a self-tanning product that you find works well? I’d love to hear your thoughts/advice on the matter. Even if you don’t agree with me. Dissent is just as lovely to me as agreement. Though agreement has some gorgeous eyes.
2) How inspiring is this wedding?! Love the skeleton key theme throughout. She really kept it going all the way through!! Quick note: a fully DIY wedding is a TALL ORDER, to be undertaken by couples who fully understand the time commitment. Because it’s A LOT. OF WORK. I just wanna make sure y’all are aware of that, though you probably all are already. Since we talk about it all the time. :)
xoxo! - Alison
Photography: Ampersand Studios / Submitted via Two Bright Lights / Caterer: Open Table Catering / Reception Venue: The Linen Building / Dress Store: Chic Bridal Boutique / Cake Designer: Marsh Cakes / Makeup Artist: MAC Cosmetics