Happy Monday evening, lovers. Seeing as it’s evening-time, I’m feeling especially excited that you’re with me. Thanks for sticking around for this HUGE POST that I, once again, put way too much effort into. Anyway, it’s so lovely to have you back for a new week. Tell me, how are you? Did you have a good weekend? How was dinner, since it’s pretty close to bed time at the moment. More importantly, are you gearing up for another Thanksgiving? It’s approximately five seconds away, just so you know. By now you probably know where you’re celebrating it… right? So, will it be at your own home? Your family’s home? Your partner’s family home? Both homes; one for dinner, then mad rush to the other for dessert? A restaurant equidistant between your respective places of birth? A grassy knoll measured out beforehand to be exactly half-way in distance between your family and your partner’s family, so no one gets offended?
Ok, actually, I’ve gotta get something off my chest. Bear with me? I have a quick message for my Bizarro World BF Ryan Gosling before we get into today’s Real Life Relationship Issue…
Part I: A LETTER FROM THE HEART
Hey Ryan. It was so cool the way you turned down that Sexiest Man Alive title People tried to give you recently. And how you gave it to Bradley Cooper who dates famous women so he can stay in the headlines and land roles, a classic Ashton Kutcher move. It bothered me at first, given how much we were all pulling for you. Remember that time you broke up a fight over a painting right after what appeared to be a marathon bicep workout? That was really cool of you. It’s a unique talent, when a man can end a fight with only his arms and his charms. Award-winning talent, some might say. Also, I seem to remember you were in some movies this year – I think it was something like 17? of them? – and I can vouch for you being very toned in close to all of them. You didn’t get naked in all of them so that’s why I can’t speak to each role, sorry. You really should’ve gotten naked in all of them for the express purpose that I could be a reliable source for you. And not because I want to see your abs of steel 24 hours a day. I mean you’re not a piece of MEAT, right?! But no really, why don’t you get naked all of the time? I think it would go well. But mainly so that I could 100% vouch for you, about the tonedness. It’s ok though, I plan to rent your movies soon and re-view them as silent films, so I’m confident I’ll be able to ascertain your level of tonedness in all of them soon enough. But back to that street fight — I saw that other video that interviewed you about that video in which your impossibly toned arms, typically reserved for activities such as caressing girls’ faces/shoulders for comfort, preparing dinner for your grandmother on weekends and, I can only imagine, saving baby goslings? But yes, I saw that video interviewing you about the almost-slap-fight between artists your arms diffused, and how you were embarrassed about the attention it was garnering. Cuh-lassic Ryan. Cuh-lassic. You’re so cute. Which reminds me, and this is off topic, but can I just say your arms seem to be working really flawlessly in concert with your core and face? Can I just say that? I’ve watched that video at least 200 times and mostly by myself so I could really, like, focus. Like, FOCUS.
Here, I’ve drawn up a diagram indicating specific areas of your body where, at least I believe, you achieved perfection, and therefore, why you deserve to be Sexiest Man Alive and also why I’m angry you didn’t take it. Even though that’s just classic Ryan. Please see below:
I think that sufficiently proves my point, yes? Hey whoooaaaaWHOOAAAA hey left hand get back here! Sorry Ryan my left hand seems to think you have a little something on your zipper, there. Like a fuzzie. Just wanted to, y’know, rub off that bad boy. THE FUZZIE. The invisible one that was on your zipper. Anyways you’re welcome. You can’t walk into a benefit to save whales looking like that! Which is where I assume you’re going, after this? A benefit to help animals and/or children? What is the location that benefit, PRAY TELL?
Look at me, rambling. I’m such a silly! Hahah, I really am; actually my Mom always calls me that! OMG I JUST TALKED ABOUT MY MOM TO YOU. I realize you don’t have all abs–ha ha ha! Sorry! I mean all day to listen to me ramble. I bet you have other women– THINGS, things I mean things, to do. Other things, that you have, to do, them. What? You’re busy laying women–THE GROUNDWORK, laying the groundwork, for your next floozy–FILM. YOUR NEXT FILM. AAAAAAHHHHH I’M SORRY!
Ryan here’s the thing. If offered, I would have taken the award you passed off to Schmadley Pooper. It would have been especially awkward and insulting for me seeing as I’m a woman, but still I would have taken it. I have trouble saying no to people. But you know what? Actually accepting an award like that just shows how arrogant I am, as a person. Seeing you reject it, and donate it to that other guy who sucks is just you being you. Y’ know? Just bein’ ol’ RyRy Gos. Can I call you that? … No? OMG I’M SO SORRY.
Sincerely,
Alison.
Part Deux: RELATIONSHIPS + HOLIDAYS = INTERESTINGPANTS
DEAR TKB:
This is going to sound bitchy, but I’m starting to hate the holidays. I know it sounds terrible and unfestivelike, and I’m sorry. It just seems to always spell FIGHTING for us as a couple. Long story short, my family is in Northern CA, his is in Texas, we’re in GA and neither of us wants to give up visiting our families. It sucks. It feels like the only way either of us will be happy is if we magically find a million dollars and rent a private plane so we can do it all. I hate to give up either of the holidays because certain different family members are present at different holidays!
Any help?
-V.
Dear V, and everyone else dealing with holiday drama:
So, Thanksgiving’s upon us! And Christmas isn’t far off! ’Tis the season of loving, giving… and of quarreling over where we’re gonna go as a couple for the holidays. It’s a joyous, wonderful time of year, but it also can get a little difficult, especially for many young couples like yourselves (young in the sense of engaged, or dating – you didn’t get specific so I’m assuming one of those two) who haven’t yet established their own dwellings as Thanksgiving-Central, but instead have yearly family commitments that, well… that they aren’t used to having to compromise on.
Does this sound at all familiar to anyone?
If you and your sweetheart have a little trouble or hard feelings when it comes to where to go for the holidays, believe me, you’re not alone. In fact, you’re in the majority.
I’m gonna keep it really real here. It wasn’t always easy (who am I kidding, it still isn’t necessarily *easy*) for me and Honey to get our Thanksgivings and Christmases sorted in a way that’s entirely satisfying to both of us. But that’s just life. We feel thankful even to have two locations between which we’re torn every year. And it’s always a discussion, and a compromise. Compromise is the key word here. And if you’re someone who can’t be satisfied if you’re not visiting your family home for every single holiday, well, then you’re setting yourself up for eternal unhappiness. Not to mention, other unknown relationship issues that will undoubtedly develop. There are definitely lots of people for whom it’s not difficult to split time, and decide who gets Christmas this year, and who gets Thanksgiving. But for many more, it’s a tough decision that has unfortunate and – depending on your family members and their emotions – potentially hurtful consequences, no matter how hard you try to make everyone happy.
Fortunately, I’ve found that for the most part, all a couple really wants is everyone to be happy. Sad thing is, it’s an impossible feat. Honey and I learned the hard way that you can’t make everyone happy all of the time. And that applies to him and to me, as well.
Here’s how we’ve dealt with it: year by year we worked through it. Yeah we fought in the beginning, but that’s just because we strongly wanted to be with our respective families, and to please them/give them what they wanted, which was *us.* But we soon figured out that you have to make sacrifices, that compromise is the only fair approach. Not everyone’s going to be 100% happy, but if you’ve got a good chunk of what you want, and the other person has his/her good chunk… isn’t that a good way to go?
Realizing this allowed us to achieve more of a balance, and right now, the way we handle it is we do dinner one place, and dessert at the other. It’s not ideal, but given the fact that our families are relatively near one another, we can’t find a more fair solution than that.
Your situation is challenging, given the sometimes-there-sometimes-not-there relatives you’re dealing with in this mathematical equation. So ultimately, you and your fiance?/boyfriend? are just going to need to accept that sometimes you’re going to miss seeing those certain family members you mentioned who are present only at certain holidays. And you know what? IT DOES SUCK. But it’s a shi**y fact of life.
The good news is that you’ll see them next year, right? Plus, there’s always Skype.
Part III: HOLIDAY-RELATED PINTEREST FINDS I WANT TO BONE
Maddy of Inspired Bride pinned this F**KING REDONKULOUS GOLD CAKE that was pinned via Style Me Pretty and I wanna make sweet, sweet love to it. Ok WOW now I’m no better than that commenter person who left that comment I told you guys about that I deleted that said “I want to have sex with that cake.” Teaching moment, you guys. I just learned a lesson that I taught myself. Whoa.
Now. That cake up there was pinned by Maddy, via a pin by someone named Yvette Inufio. Before today, I didn’t know who she is. But now I’m having a holy s*** moment because HOLY S***. AMAZEBALLS. A taste:
Well, turns out she has an Etsy shop. Mind blown. Such gorgeousness.
So, I’m not viscerally hating Lauren Conrad’s line for Kohl’s Holiday 2011, pinned from The Budget Babe. Here are some picks I pulled for the holidays, if you wanna look fab without spending a buttload:
Lizzie & Isaiah pinned this KILLER DIY felt holly corsage from Martha Stewart. And OMGIWANNABONEIT.
Paper Pastries pinned this cool new (or did I just not get the memo and it’s been going on for years?) trend in nails, which was shared on The Beauty Department. And I wanna sleep with it. But more so, I want to see it done on YOUR BRIDESMAIDS. PUH-LEEEEAAAASSSSEEUUHH???!!!!
Random personal find – succulent escort cards. Always a winner in my book. But you already knew that. Shot by Shira Z Photography.
Pinned by Katelyn Whitehead, these are wooden prop boards that read Thank You, for you to hold for the purposes of your adorable Thank You Notes to guests. Yes, this is old hat. But taking the photo in the silliest and simultaneously adorablelest way possible? Priceless. I mean, $29.95.
So, I’m curious….
1) How are you spending Thanksgiving?
2) As a couple, how did you come to a solution about the holidays? Has it been easy? Difficult?
3) Ryan Gosling. Your thoughts just, like, in general, about him.
xoxo! - Alison
Mini Thanksgiving Roundup: On Twitter right before this post went live I asked peeps to tweet me their own Thanksgiving related blog posts if they wanted them published heresville. DexKnows Weddings shared this Mr & Mrs carved pumpkin, shot by Amber Stricklin Photography; she also sent this nautical- inspired wedding photo shoot she spotted on Valley & Co., which was shot by Limelife Photography. And then there’s Wedding Lovely that included fave recipes for your Thanksgiving feast! Good times. Good times. GTs.