At the risk of sounding famous (because I’m not) I once hung out in an airport with Dave Matthews.  He approached me.

Let me set the stage: I’m de-boarding a plane.  The face I see when I’m having sex with my college boyfriend is walking towards me.  Initially the beauty of this moment is lost on me – I start searching for the pretty girl he’s looking at just over my shoulder.  I notice only my friends are behind me, no offense.  He stops a foot in front of me.. reaches out his hand, and opens his mouth.  It speaks.  The syllables are vaguely familiar…

“Alison?”

My mom had noticed him seated at my gate — she’d remembered his likeness from the area of ceiling over my bed.  He must be someone special.

Summoning the superhuman motherstrength that comes out in situations where your child could possibly be elated for a few seconds because of something you did, she very casually strikes up a conversation with Dave Matthews, nbd.  “Your biggest fan is getting off that plane in a minute – she even has a poster of you over her bed..”  ..is how I imagine it went.  She says it didn’t go that way but I know what she’s like.

He ends up talking to me for 20 minutes.  And from the moment he says “Alison?” to the end where he says “nice meeting you Alison, goodbye” I literally did not speak one word and he was asking me questions.  Too in awe (or I was involuntarily c**ming and had to really really focus (ladies you know how it is!)  Anywho.  What I did offer him was a few breathy grunts, and a highly alert look of shock on my face for the duration (like what happens when you see a too large penis in front of you and you start freaking out because, uh oh, that’s not going to fit in my vagina.  But then you “feel bad” and have sex with him anyway and it’s amazing, and you get engaged).  I went that mute.

I was more speechless than that you guys, after last night’s Bachelorette premiere.

The recap of which is coming up after this lovely DIY project Kindred made for you guys.  High kicks, woot!

By the way somehow Kindred made today’s project not only full of glitter BUT ALSO a totes respectable piece of jewelry you can wear outdoors.  Say, to a wedding.

That’s right folks, it’s time for Kindred to take it away, so.. take it away, Kindred!  And I’m sorry that that rhymes!  It kind of really undercuts your professionalism!  Ok NOW take it away–

Today’s DIY makes a perfect bridal shower favor or favor for any gathering with close girl friends. It’s a pretty little gift that can be personalized with a message or just worn as a small sparkly accessory!

What you’ll need:
– Mini corked glass vial
– Gold wire
– Wire tool/plier
– Gold ball chain
– Glitter

Step 1:
Turn your glass vial into a pendant! do this by making a tiny loop with the gold wire, twisting it into a stem at the end. Use the pliers to tighten and shape your loop — then twist the stem of the wire piece into the cork.

Step 2:
Fill the vial with glitter! A mini funnel helps… you can also make one out of a paper cone!  Close the bottle with the cork stopper, and use super glue if you need to reinforce the cork.

Step 3:
Thread the bottle onto the ball chain and it’s ready to go! 

… you can also add in a message along with the sparkles, or have the favor double as a place card by attaching a name to the necklace! 

(Here’s a simplified tutorial for safekeeping..)

Pretty, simple and fun!  What do you think?

xoxo
kindred

Thank you to the women of Kindred for yet another stunning and fun-packed tutorial.  Really adoring what happens when your creativity hops over into the wearable realm.  Killing it, ladies!

One last thing before I slam some shots of Crown Royal and hunker down for the final leg of this Bachelorette recap…

I hurt my ankie recently, gave me an excuse to accept a foot licksage from the bobabear.  Guilt-/weirdness-free!  The only way to experience a foot licksage.  (I wonder if my feet smell like Fritos, too?)

Alrighty.  Hope you aren’t so weirded out by me right now that you decide not to leave a comment for Renee and her crew on the DIY.. don’t punish them for what are exclusively my errors.

Be back with the recap sooner than you can accept that .GIF is pronounced Jiff.  Much love to you, dearies…

xo, Alison

Glitter favor images: Jenna Rae Photography & Kindred / Bambino: taken with my iphone while in a zen, relaxed state

So it’s late Friday afternoon and I’m about to hold a giveaway [the giveaway's up! ENTER HERE] but I need your help choosing what to giveaway — fret not, all will be revealed… but in other news first – anyone else F’ing obsessed with polka dots right now?

I got these shorts from Madewell over the weekend, I think they’re perfect for Alt Summit:

I’ve gathered up a few fun things since then, actually… which means it’s Pick Your Giveaway time!  

Let me know in the comments which of these two items below you’d prefer for the giveaway:

1.  Rifle Paper Co. gold foil notecard set (8 blanks, 4 styles); OR
2.  the bakers twine + gift tags set

Honestly I don’t know which one I’d choose, they’re both spectacular and I’ll forever rue the day I gave either of them away.

Part II: Summertime Fun with Pretty Cheap + Pretty Awesome Props!  

The swimsuit portion of today’s summer shoot by Limelife Photography can be blamed for stoking the polka dot embers of my at this point full-blown addiction to stuff with polka dots all over it.  It’s one of my healthier addictions tho so I’m not concerned.  But yo- can you believe Courtney of After the Engagement, the planner and stylist, picked up most of these things from Le Target?  I really try to resist going there too often but occasionally it’s IMPOSSIBLE to resist.  Especially if you have a summer shoot coming up and you need a polka dot swimsuit, pretty heart shades, neon pop bangles, a kiddie pool, funny swim floaties, sparkly golden earrings, popsicle forms, and his entire outfit…

^ That shot is magnificent.

From Courtney, the super thrifty polka dotted beauty above:

Collaborating with Limelife Photography on this shoot was so much fun.  They came to me with the idea of doing a fun summer anniversary photo shoot with a kiddie pool, blow up pool toys, and popsicles.  I always wanted to participate in a lake shoot, and thought that Poway Lake would be the perfect location for this.

I’ve never seen an engagement or anniversary or trash the dress shoot shot at a lake, especially not in San Diego, where we are more known for our beaches than lakes.  There is so much gorgeous scenery here, and there is just something special about bringing some fun props and bright colors to an everyday location such as this.  I am a huge proponent of accessories, so I knew that the sunglasses, jewelry, and headband would be just as important as the location.  

I found the sunglasses, jewelry, and Garret’s clothes at Target, and the huge floral headband was made by Bitty Baby Bands for the shoot.  I’m obsessed with Target, and could literally design a whole shoot around a shopping trip there.  I made the popsicles, and picked up the glass bottled cokes as a last minute addition.  I think of everything as an accessory- down to the drinks or food in a styled shoot.

+++++

Ok now it’s time to pick your giveaway!

1.  the gold foil notecard set (8 blanks, 4 styles); OR
2.  the bakers twine + gift tags set

Let me know your fave in the comments.  Once it’s clear which of the 2 you guys prefer, I’ll hold the giveaway in my Open Letter to ABC’s The Bachelorette, a post that is *this close* to being complete (thanks, perfectionism)!!

xo Alison

photography: Limelife Photography / planning & styling: Courtney of After the Engagement / hair flower: kristina tsiros, bitty baby bands / makeup artist: Gerine Coronado, Beauty By Gerine / props + threads: Target!

Here we go. 

1. Bodycon dresses… check.
2. A&F perfume… check.
3. The Joshua Radin/P!nk/90′s Jewel serenity mix my awesome brother made me (luv him!!) for when the Lithium runs out… check.
4. The Lithium… check.
5. My inescapable fear of dying alone…  :( check :(
6. My not bangs having version of my face… check!  

Alison here.  So listen I don’t know much about life you guys, honestly.  But I do know this; when a girl goes on a tv show to find someone to love, and that girl tells the show’s viewers:

“I know it’s going to be emotionally draining, but I’m ready for that, because I know I need to go through all that to find the happy ending that I want.”

…that girl is ready for love.

Before we get into the (short) recap, here is what the giveaway is today!

One package of those killer cards from Rifle Paper Co.  One of my favorite stationers ever.  Ok back to the recap!  For those who want to enter this giveaway, scroll down to bottom for the simple way to win!

THE BACHELORETTE: DESIREE’S SEASON: IN THE BEGINNING.

Desiree rolls up to her new Malibu home in what appears to be a humbling childhood metaphor (we’re going to change that out right guys, this is Malibu just saying..) and DAMN does she looks grea-different, she looks different.

Actually forget the bag, because it looks like they’ve replaced her used poverty vehicle with one that looks like something only fucking idiots would drive!  We’re in Malibu so it’s perfect.

Desiree’s reaction to the car is “OOOoooooOooOOOOooooo, FEE-YUNCEE,” – she took the words out of my mouth.

Chris Harrison starts in with the questions and it’s like I’m watching the Couric-Palin interview.  It’s riveting stuff; apparently her parents have a happy relationship, and she hopes to find the same.  She’s also excited, and feels blessed to start this journey.  People- these were all things that just minutes ago I hadn’t even cared to know about or have as memories in my brain, and now they’re taking up valuable memory space.  Think about that.  So awesome.

I’m definitely going to need the crying to stop, though.  What can we do about that, ABC.  I mean Chris, it seems, cannot ask this girl a question about her day without it bringing her to the brink of desperation both physically and emotionally.  And these are lobs!  This is Chris ”Softballs” fucking Harrison for chrissakes, the terrible interviewing skills reason being the strongest of the two reasons he has that nickname.  Whatever.  I’m just really banking on at least one of these two people growing a pair of firm, functioning balls before this season is thru.  Crossing my fingers for a miracle.  But actually forget everything I’ve ever said ever because WTF, did you see that Ben promo?  Ben either did something or didn’t do something, depending on the editing, and I’m intrigued.  This show is so great!

Let’s check in on Desiree:

I’m definitely sad to see the forehead swoop go, as it seems to have been an essential part of her look, and I’m not that interested in watching a seven cry for two hours every week.  But I‘ve been waiting for this season forever promised I’d recap, so I can’t look back now.

I just have to say… that was a lot of crying, right?  In the first show of the season?  I’m compelled to remind Chris Harrison here that this isn’t the actual Couric-Palin interview, and that maybe he should lay off.  Less penetrating questions are in order here.  She’s clearly a girl on the edge and it’s a little disconcerting.  Thank goodness my total lack of any real concern for her personally allows me to move on from these difficult feelings — and good thing too — because our friend Chris Harrison is back with something to say before these guys get here, and when Chris Harrison talks, the world listens.

*Useless space filling commentary* – Chris B Harrison

LET’S MEET THE GUYS

We meet Bryden first, and are struck by his haircut and dutiful service to our country.  He is an untouchable in the first episode but, fortunately for us, respect for men in uniform is something reserved for only a couple days of the year.  We will have to wait until tonight to dissect that name.

Next is Will, and between the free high fives and his involvement in Bikram Yoga, I start getting this feeling that he may not be your everyday run of the mill child of an interracial union.  He confirms this, stating it outright.

Drew is a child of divorce and the son of an alcoholic, but it’s not all fun and games for this Arizonian single — his sister is severely mentally handicapped.  Dude I’m sorry that sucks.  Good luck with everything?

Next up is Nick R., a magician who is also a tailor.  So, a tailor.  Nick is nice enough I guess, but lol Desiree isn’t THAT desperate.  Actually she’s pretty desperate, so this quite possibly could work.

Zak is attracted to people with a certain spirit that enjoy life as much as he does, which I understand to mean he needs pussy, and fast.

Robert‘s company invented sign-spinning, I’m not familiar.  Is this a lucrative business Robert?  I’m impressed by the clutch *single eye socket having* dog though, and am quickly won over.

Mike here is a non-accented London-born dental student, and I’m a non-interested American-born fast-forwarder.

Next is Brandon; he’s an adrenaline junky who likes being outside and wakeboarding but….well let’s just say that growing up? the water’s been a little choppy.  Insofar as his father left the family early on sending his mother into a crippling tailspin of addiction, the emotional burden of which Brandon’s been carrying around until this very moment, when he can finally use the heart-wrenching tale to win favor amongst heart-on-their-sleeves Bachelorette viewers; a demographic known as much for their mothering in committed relationships as for their lack of having a committed relationship in the first place.

It doesn’t work.

END OF MEETING GUYS FOR THE FIRST TIME; TRANSITION INTO MEETING ALL OF THE GUYS THIS TIME, VIA LIMO ARRIVALS;

It’s limo time!  We know this because Harrison, thank God, is still an integral part of this show.  While waiting for the men to pull up I ask Honey (my partner if you’re new here) to weigh in on Des.. I say “Honey, so far what are you thinking of Des?”  He thinks.  ”She has a good bikini body.”

I agree.

MOST TESTY MOMENT FROM THE SHOW:

Zak:  ”I HAVE ABS”

Everyone: “NO, ABSOLUTELY NOT”

So yeah, welcome to a new season!  Desiree’s less pretty and really emotional to the point that it’s sickening BUT WAIT! *jingles keys* there’s someone with a secret girlfriend, a dude punches a dude at some point, this guy’s going to the hospital, and some fucking chick just waltzed in with a pretty serious look on her face that could mean literally anything?  I’m listening. 

FINAL THOUGHTS AFTER ROSE CEREMONY BECAUSE YOU’RE PROBABLY SICK OF READING THIS ALREADY AND WANT ME TO GET TO THE GIVEAWAY:

I am surprised to see that Desiree does not keep the armored knight (Digio?) around, as his literal interpretation of Desiree’s infantile desire to be swept off her feet by a fairytale white knight makes him if not the perfect match for her romantically, certainly a developmental equal.

I find Creepy Jonathan to be an absolute catastrophe, but my desire to rip him to shreds (or diagnose where he falls on The Spectrum in the new DSM-V) is sidelined by a glass of maple-flavored Crown Royal, a bottle of which Honey brought home for this exact occasion.  (I’m never letting this guy go.)

+++++

Number 1 – people here for the Bach recap: I have a couple questions (though feel free to weigh in on any little thing that comes to mind, like what a crackpot you think I am for watching and recapping this ricockulous show):

1. Do you think Desiree is ready for love?  
2. Any thoughts on the men?  

Number 2 – people here for the giveaway:  Hey there!  Sorry about all the Bachelorette stuff, hehe, yeah.  So to enter the giveaway aspect of this post it’s pretty simple… just leave a comment saying you’d like to win the giveaway!  Individuals may leave up to 5 separate comments, for up to 5 separate shots at the prize.  And yes, ANYONE CAN ENTER!

Oke the doke; can’t wait to chat about whatevs!

Alison

p.s. heads up on tonight!

*This is a partnered post, written from the heart.

Hey friendlies… jump into any one of the following 5 Things and you’re bound to start feeling pretty good about yourself.  Why not start today?  OK… TO THE LIST!

1.  If you’re like me you spend a lot of your time in a seat staring at a screen.  And have you heard what they say about sitting so long every day?  It’s worse for you than smoking.  YES, THAT’S RIGHT.  I know I was just as shocked as you are.  So start moving around more often, stretching at your desk, taking walks outside — really whatever you want to do to get that blood flowing!

2.  Be one of those cool couples everyone admires, and choose lab-created diamonds.  We here at TKB would like to recommend Gemesis, if an engagement is in the air or you just want some dope bling in the form of a conflict-free ring. Here’s the need to know:

Yes, they’re real. Gemesis lab created diamonds are diamond.  Meaning, they are single crystal growth and have chemical, physical and optical properties that are identical to mined diamonds.  The only difference is point of origin. Real talk.

“Lab-created diamonds” “man made diamonds” and “cultured diamonds” are all the same thing.  Sometimes CZ and other simulants are called “man made diamonds,” but this isn’t true because they aren’t diamond at all, they’re materials meant to appear to be diamond to the naked eye.

Because of their origin, Gemesis lab-created diamonds are guaranteed conflict-free and eco-friendly.  The production has a much smaller carbon footprint than the mined process as well as not requiring the removal of earth or negative affects on ecosystems that can cause.

(What more is there to say? It just makes sense.)

3.  Are you drinking enough water?  I notice a significant improvement in my energy, my happy factor, and my appearance (softer skin, more hydrated cuticles) when I drink several glasses of water a day.  So whenever I can remember, I pour a tall glass of water and chug that baby right down.  My body sort of can’t stand the act of drinking a glass of water (I know it’s weird), so I have to chug it from optimist to pessimist level while hovering over the sink, then cough hysterically until the nightmare is over.  Yeah!

4. Leave your place of residence more often.  It’s easy to get stuck in a rut when you follow a daily routine, but you mustn’t succumb to it.  Honey and I joined a krav maga class recently; 3 classes in, we’re already hooked on the adrenaline factor! Plus we get to fake strangle each other and then be ninjas to break free.  So, really great class.  Highly recommend it.

5. Make the effort to be more honest in your relationship.  Ever wished you could just tell your partner anything?  Well guess what – you can!  No really, we can all get there.  It just takes a little effort here and there along the way.  But as they say, anything worth having is worth fighting for right?  A quick aside: chances are if you’re wanting a deeper connection in your relationship, it’s probably something your partner is craving too.  And trust me; the hardest part of deciding to be vulnerable with your partner is deciding to be vulnerable with your partner.  The truth is an incredible people connector!

Now it’s time for the really fun part (for me anyway)…

…my personal favorite picks, from Gemesis!

(wee note: prices on Gemesis reflect setting only, as Gemesis allows customers to choose their own diamond.)

Gemesis’ Fancy Bliss Diamond Ring

Platinum Pirouette Six-prong Diamond Ring

Princess Adorned Diamond Ring

1/4-Carat Dramatic Dip Band

I hope you guys enjoyed today’s tips, they really do work for me!

And a little question for those of you who are engaged: did you help pick out your engagement ring?  Or was it a complete surprise to you?

xx! Alison

Sup guys?  Alison here, hey :)  I’m crazy in love with the ombre (cannot bring myself to spell it ombré, sorry) project Kindred has for us today.  Many reasons, too many to list here.  But I’ll try: it’s cheap, the ombre trend is represented (I’m woefully obsessed still with the ombre trend), it’s multi-functional, there’s a heart shape!, and it’s a super easy, super chic way to dress up a table.  Also, it’s the perfect project for every ability level, which is always great.  Really the only thing that could make this project any better is if it came with a complimentary commode caddy.

The iPad Commode Caddy.

Take it away, Kindred ladies!!

With summer on its way, we couldn’t help but notice all the pretty greens blooming around town and popping up at grocery stores. With so much to choose from, you won’t have to spend a fortune on those big, bright flowers (save that for another day!) — in fact, most of what we used here were “filler” greens. Make this pretty box of fresh notes to send a sweet friend or to use as a centerpiece on your wedding day!

What you’ll need:
- Heart papier mache box (comes with lid, but you won’t need it)
- Assorted fresh florals/greens
- Plastic wrap
- Floral foam for fresh flowers (make sure it is not “dry foam”, which is used for fake flowers)
- Floral cutters

Step 1:
Line the inside of the box with plastic wrap. This will prevent water from soaking through when you add water to preserve the flowers.

Step 2:
Submerge the floral foam in water and let soak for about 15-20 minutes. Then, cut foam to size to fit inside the heart.

Step 3:
Add greens and florals by cutting stems at a sharp angle with the floral cutters. Use the pointed stem to puncture the foam and secure branch. Avoid creating a pre-drilled hole, as it doesn’t allow for the stem to take in as much water– however, for softer stems, this may be necessary.

Step 4:
Now that your box is full of greens and pretty as ever, add an optional finishing touch by cutting out a message to lay on top!

Finished! Don’t forget to lightly water :)

Cheers :)

xoxo Kindred

Can’t wait to tell you guys about Alt Summit, OHMYGOD.  If you’re not familiar; Alt is Altitude Summit, a blogger conference that takes the cake, as blogger conferences go.  Because it was pretty effing rad and full of gluten free options (kinda key for me, because nourishment) and full of fun people I either already know, never knew before, or knew only on the internet, until yesterday!  Shut up Internet, you’re awesome.

Must say; of all the feelings in business I cherish, the one where you feel awash in awareness is the best.  Amirite?  There’s nothing like engaging, informative speeches given by the freshest in the game to get you feeling all invincible and recharged and shit.  Got some fun pics to share too, because naturally. :)

Btw… I’m thinking you might enjoy seeing all my notes from the conference(?).  I plan on copying them all down this weekend – for some reason I used a thing called a pencil and I “wrote” my notes on “paper”.  Huh??  Very 80′s of me, sorry.  I’ll post them ASAP.

Anywho.  I won’t leave you with that BS teaser crap.  I’ll leave you, instead, with a VERY QUICK note about Kanye and Kim’s baby name… and then ma fave stuff for instant happy face. <–best kind of stuff there is.  And it’s all courtesy of the internet.  (I love you, Internet.)

1. Kanye and Kim apparently named their baby “North West”.  Ok.  Do you guys give a flying piece of jettisoned pterodactyl shit about this?  As names go it’s not terrible.  I just think it should have been Knorth West, but that’s the only thing.

2. Really jaw-dropping life hacks, over at buzzfeed (thanks to a stumbleupon email).  Coupla good ones (but they’re all good):

Does this work??:

3. I love this article that talks seriously and engagingly about why we tend to have our best ideas in the shower, which I found over on Buffer’s blog.  It talks about everyone being a creative being, and not just some.  The science is fun to learn about.  (Even if you know these things already, sometimes it’s important to be reminded!) Here’s a good part:

Smell you later!

Alison

So the concerned half-sister of a virgin bride wrote in recently for advice, and I’ve made her question the focus of today’s post.  It prompts the broader question for today:  Do you think it’s important to have sex with your partner before marrying that partner? 

As usual, I encourage you guys to join in with your own advice if you’re comfortable offering any up today.  I’ve tried to advise her best I could as you’ll see, but without personally knowing anyone with anywhere near that kind of sexual willpower including myself (hi Dad!), I can only imagine there are many different viewpoints and considerations and ways to approach this.  So, WWYD?  Fyi the ‘Y’ stands for  You, not “Yeezus”, tho Kanye West is of course welcomed to weigh in despite this, as I do trust his impulses in love and marriage………

Shall we begin?

PART 1 :: QUESTION + ANSWER

Dear TKB:

My sister is about to marry a man she’s never kissed and, as her Matron of Honor (by default), I feel it is my duty to properly prepare her for what is about to happen.

Allow me to provide some background information so you may properly assess the situation:

• Yes, my sister and her fiance are both religious (New-Age Baptist). But I wouldn’t say they are proselytizing.
• Fiance has kissed a girl before *GASP* and apparently it “led to temptation.” Not kissing was his suggestion and she agreed. Sister has never kissed anyone (anywhere). Ever. She is 25 and this is the first man she has ever dated.
• I say I am MOH “by default” because my sister and I are not very close. We are half-sisters (no blood relation, not that that means anything) and had very different life experiences for various reasons I won’t bore you with. I was chosen as MOH because she “couldn’t choose between two of her friends.”

I am deeply concerned that the first kiss will be TLC’s Virgin Diaries-esque and that it will be so, so, SO baaadddd. (More importantly, that I won’t be able to hold it together since I will have a FRONT ROW SEAT to the action.) When asked “What if you kiss and it’s…bad?” my sister says: “I won’t have anything to compare it to.” What a sad thought.

Of course, sister’s got bigger (insert inappropriate joke here*) issues when they go on their honeymoon. It’s going to be a looong week of awkward poking in Puerto Rico – especially when you’re going from 0 to 60 in just a few days. Heck, -60 to 60.

So my question is: since we’re not that close, what is an appropriate way to prep my sister for what is sure to be the most horrifying, intimate and real experiences of her life?

A tasteful nightgown? Lubrication suggestions? An encouraging note, perhaps? Some people have said that’s overstepping my boundaries. I’d love to hear from you and your readers!

- M

*What if he convinces her his penis is 6″ and throws off her ability to measure distances for the rest of her life!? (Joke contributed by my hubs)

Dear Ms. M,

I have learned some things over the years from others and from my own experiences, and that is: Never give someone advice unless they beg you for it.  And even then, decline if you can.

I say this because you have no way of knowing if she will interpret your reason for giving it as a positive one, or how comfortable she’ll be with the advice you give.

So for now just wish her a wonderful and loving married life.

But after the ceremony, maybe during the reception you can offer this to her: If she ever wants to ask or talk to you about anything, she can.

Culture and religion are great influences on one’s behavior and one’s acceptance of another person’s behavior and actions. The bride and groom seem comfortable with their religion’s expectations of them.

Hopefully, they… although up until now having refrained from having sex… have some idea about what they want to give to and receive from their mate.  And hopefully now that they have the permission slip of marriage, they will allow themselves to explore, without restraint, the thrills of sexual intimacy.

If she ever comes to you and seeks your counsel, or you feel close enough to her as the wedding date gets closer, so that you feel you can mention something more at the reception, then maybe telling her this corny analogy might help: If sex were singing then she should think of them as a couple of soloists who now want to become a duet.  It is possible to be terrific from as early on as the first song they sing together… but if not, then as with most things practice makes perfect.

- Alison, TKB

PART 2 :: DRESSES UPON DRESSES UPON DRESSES

If you’re feeling like eating up pretty things with your eyes today instead of getting too advicey re: the above reader question, then by all means, sit back and enjoy the following pics from Bridal Fashion Week that my good friend Casey Fatchett captured when he joined me to shoot some runway shows.  We had such a blast, he’s always a pleasure to work with. :)  Today I’m sharing with you the Angel Sanchez runway show – I’d love to hear if you have any faves.  I’m kinda having a hard time choosing myself; almost every single one made me squeal like Teresa Guidice during the show (man I do I hate her btw)…

Some questions for today as we go into the weekend…

1. What think you of today’s reader predicament?  Should she talk to her half-sister or not?

2. Are you digging dresses with major detailing these days like the ones we’re seeing above?  Or do you prefer a different style?

Can’t wait to hear your thoughts!

xo,  Alison

runway photography: Casey Fatchett for theknottybride.com // star trek pic via twitter

So July 4th, let’s do this.

Actually first a couple of cool gifs I thought you might like:

- watch hot glass being formed into a horse. via reddit

- watch this :)

Independence Day is one of ma faves, y’all.  I may not know how to file a tax return on my own but that doesn’t mean I don’t love celebrating the fact that I can, should I choose to educate myself one day, because FREE COUNTRY.  And who doesn’t love a day of drinking fully condoned by Big Brother, AMIRITE.  No but seriously any excuse to invite friends and fam over that doubles as an excuse to feed those people technicolor jello shots as they wait in line for the Slip N Slide run is just golden.  Love it.  Love getting my family drunk.  (PSA: If you just got the urge to pick up a Slip N Slide for today, let me warn you: my parents are functional hoarders and so we still have the original Slip N Slide from like the 1980s (fuck me I am old!) and it’s the original 20th-century thick, impregnable plastic version, not the shit they’re selling you in stores these days.  It’s honestly the only thin layer of plastic I trust when it comes to my relatives and their potential for serious internal injury.  Do not I repeat do not trust the newer Slip N Slides if your backyard is a bit rocky!)

Also- I love fireworks.  Best.  Fireworks are THE. BEST. THING. about this holiday.  Go get them, acquire them illegally if you have to, it’s worth it (obviously don’t get caught, if you get caught I was just f*cking around with you about the acquire them illegally thing).

One last thing.  Whenever I make these kinds of Top 10 Lists, I do so keenly aware of your expectations for them.  Which means your patriotic cake can’t just wow me, it needs to rock me on a fundamental level to the point where I can forget for a moment that some really bad shit like slavery and other terrible shit was literally still going down around the time Independence Day came into being.  And yes I know that’s a downer and that I’m supposed to be a positive read but somebody* is going around to all the schools in America and ripping out the pages about the shameful stuff – so I just had to make mention of it here.  You know- for the sake of our kids and the future of our nation.  Or w-evs.)

*school boards across the country

And now, some lovely ideas for a sufficiently enlightened and fancypants Fourth.

Naturally, we start with drinks.

Your guests will fancy these effort drinks, via food network by way of studio diy // and think about scoring extra boozing points with these patriotic alcoholic ice cubes, BECAUSE FREEDOM MEANS DRINKING TIL YOU PUKE RIGHT via one martini at a time

Next is nail art, a popular hobby among those with unlimited free time.  I hate most nail art – pictures of the human nail bed disgust me.  It’s a thing I have.

Fortunately I also have a thing for beautifully executed art installations.  And if your art installation happens to impress me enough, it makes literally no difference to me the medium on which it’s being presented.  A wall of an abandoned building, the backdrop of your cousin’s wedding photobooth, adjacent to your bleeding dehydrated cuticles… no matter.  Just be sure to take the necessary pains to make it look as good as effing possible like this girl did, and I promise I won’t immediately turn around and run away from you // nail art via this girl, who may be slightly obsessed with nail art

Who doesn’t love a good snow cone?  I haven’t had a good snow cone since the 1990s guys.  Why is that?  Whatever, who cares – Give your guests a tasty blast from the past with these mini snow cones from bakerella, and right that wrong in the name of freedom.

Fancy sending someone an lol today?  Maybe even an ROTFL?  Then check out someecards’ fourth of July e-cards and try to pick only one.

My homegirl Jenn over at HWTM brings us this menu concept,

plus some more nail art that I can tolerate.  Yeah!

SIMPLE LAST-MINUTE EATS:

Don’t want to put a lot of effort into it?  I feel you; here are some simple tricks that don’t require sobriety to pull off!

watermelon + blueberries + plate = winning, via lisa storms by way of cool mom picks

 one patriotic banana cream pie coming up!, via broma bakery (obvs. just buy a banana cream pie from a reputable baker and cover it with all the shit in the picture, don’t physically make the pie who has time for that)

This is funny:

EASY WAYS TO OCCUPY KIDS  TODAY:

At one point in my youth my mom held kids craft parties – one of my fave projects was making personalized t-shirts.  All you need to do something like this is fabric paint and some clothing you wouldn’t mind possibly destroying if all doesn’t go well, via i love to create

Aright I’m gonna go swimming now.

Happy Fourth of July to many of you, and happy Thursday to the rest of you!

How are you spending it?

xo, Alison

This summer, I can’t go without a few things.  Whether I like it or not.

Let’s just jump right into this…

This summer, I can’t go without: 

My new one piece swimsuit.  Why?  Because two things: Honey used “50s pinup” to describe me in this bathing suit (does not matter the cost when this happens)(within reason), and 2) it fits all of my booty up in it.  And it literally *holds all the booty*, in one place.  Butt pop-out, and cellu-jiggling, are all kept to a minimum.  I’ve never been much of a believer in pricey bathing suits, but I’m pretty sure having one suit you love beats 10 years of trying to get a decent fit on the cheap.  And speaking of the female body…

This summer, I also can’t go without wondering why there aren’t always nipples on grown up lady mannequins.

(I WISH I could do that with my nipples.  I WISH.)

This summer I also cannot go without:

Netflix’s New Original Series Orange Is The New Black.  Why?

It’s a smart, great show and there are no great shows left and I’m sick of resorting to Real Housewives shows just because nothing else is on.  UGH!  Here’s a better reason to like it -

Because it portrays women who usually look like this on television:

Like this:

In other words, not perfect.  Realistic female characters with real problems who aren’t there just to look good in hair and makeup.  And just enough sex scenes/nudity to keep the guys engaged.  (From the creator of Weeds, btw.  Which could have gone either way, just saying.  Fortunately it went well.)

This summer, I also can’t go without:

Palladio Rice Paper oil-absorbing tissues.  Why?  How about it’s hot out, and you want to matte your face real quick just so you don’t look a day back from Outward Bound at your 1 o’clock meeting.  Or you’re feeling anxious about your job, or impending childbirth, or having to socialize indefinitely with his parents once you’re married, and as a result you’re looking a bit oily in the face, every single day of your life, which as you know is currently unacceptable if you’re a woman in our culture.  Use these blotting papers to cover up the manifestation of your ever-present anxiety and in seconds you’ll be on your way!

This summer, I can’t go without:

Thoughts of pregnancy and how much I hear about that shit hurting.  (Seriously, I can’t stop thinking about this.)

This summer, I can’t go without:

Silly apps are a major time-waster.  I both love them and hate them.

This summer, I can’t go without:

Because YESSSSSSSSS.  This is almost exclusively how I wear my hair these days.  It’s easy, and it keeps the mane out of the face.

 This summer, I really can’t go without:

Time outside and in nature.  Why?  Because these days it’s getting harder to budget in time with yourself, and loved ones, unless you make a point of it.  I have this instinctive reaction to taking a break from work, like I’m doing something wrong, just going outside to reconnect with nature.  But it’s necessary, and it actually makes me feel more open, calm and creative, almost immediately.  Unless you’ve been under rock you know society is becoming less and less physically connected, with virtual connections being paramount in the tech age (the one in which we’re living).  So plan things, like picnics, or trips to water parks, or summer concerts in your area, if you want some quality togetherness time. Or literally just walk out the door and stand in the sun for a couple of minutes.  Just BREATHE FRESH AIR.  Recharging your body battery is the most important thing you can do for yourself, and for those around you.

And finally, the last summer thing I just cannot go without?

Making things with my hands.  And the craft projects our friends at Kindred create for knotty readers are my favorite way to do this.  Why?  Because the Kindred ladies have impeccable style, and their low-cost/high-impact do-it-yourselfies are so simple and creative that almost anyone can do them (including me).  And today’s project – this rad DIY leather wrapped boutonniere concept -  is a fine example of this.  Thank you for another killer thing to go and make, Kindred.  So ill.  (Sorry I said “ill” back there – I’m trying to regain my youth.)

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What you’ll need:

– Assorted stems
– Scissors
– Floral tape
– Leather lacing (you can buy it precut or you can cut yourself)
– Hot glue
– Boutonnière pin

INSTRUCTIONS

Step 1:
Prepare your assortment of stems by trimming the stems and bunching them in groups to your liking. Try a couple different variations with colors, shapes and sizes!

Step 2:
Beginning with your two center stems, use floral tap to wrap around and secure the stems together. Leave about a half inch unwrapped at the bottom, and continue to add and wrap in one stem at a time until your little bunch is as full as you’d like!

Step 3:
Grab a strip of leather and wrap it around your finished bunch to cover the floral tape. Once it fully covers the tape, use hot glue to hold the end of the strip.

That’s it! Attach it with the pin and you’re good to go!

A slight twist on the traditional boutonnière that adds just the right amount of character! What do you think?

xo Kindred

Fonts used today: FlatBread // Landliebe // Orator Std // Pea Jane // SandroAl // English Essay

Today’s reader issue affects a lot of people, so “Miss S”- who you’ll meet in our Question & Answer section today – is not alone.  I have friends who’ve faced this issue, some currently facing it.  I’ve actually been through it, too.  There’s taboo around it but there shouldn’t be.  Hoping we can talk about it/open up about it, today.

Now… since some of my favorite activities include researching on the internet, royal baby watching, and being afraid of pregnancy/delivering a baby/raising children, I have something to report on..

You guys THE BABY’S OUT AND ABOUT.

Kate Middleton finally emerged for pictures the day after having the Royal baby, and she did it! — she successfully pulled off not looking like she just had a baby yesterday.  Loving it, Kate.  I gotta say you’re hiding that honest female experience and afterbirth body quite well, like a true Anglo-Saxon Protestant.  Way to represent!

You know sometimes, when it feels like I’ve got the weight of the world on my shoulders, I like to think about how almost all of the incredibly wealthy families of the world have managed to maintain their immense wealths and, in many cases, boast of the unwavering support and adoration of the people they DGAF about.  Just for being wealthy.  Beautiful thing.  It makes me feel all warm and gooey inside!  *I love my life, I love having a mortgage, I love having bills to pay..*

I wonder what they talk about.

Ok so I’m being told his name is Prince Princington Wellingsworth Tambling-Goggindoggy the III, no, that’s wrong.  Ok I’m being told the name hasn’t been announced yet, so we wait.

Also not announced yet but going to be announced - “further details about the birth process” - which seems hardly invasive.

You guys I hope she fesses up about the size and degree of her tear and doesn’t leave anything out.  Also would like to know how many times she pooped (THE PEOPLE DEMAND IT, not me).  Also whether she was permitted to smoke marijuana in the hospital, or if she had to do one HUGE pull beforehand like the rest of the moms who do that, orrrrrrr if she ACTUALLY just ABSORBED all of the pain into her psyche, never to speak of it publicly.  I’m thinking 3.

BECAUSE NEWSFLASH LADIES: the world doesn’t want to hear about your birth pain.  And you know that greatly changed body you’ll be getting used to over the next three months to a lifetime?  AIN’T NOTHIN WE WANNA LOOK AT, GIRL.  Put that body away.  Oy gevalt.

For those of you who are curious what it’s going to be like for the Duchess here on out, check out this list courtesy of just the facts baby:

1. Postnatal bleeding can last for weeks.

2. You may leave the hospital looking almost as pregnant as you did when you arrived (and your belly won’t fully go down for some time).

3. No matter how productive you were in your past life, things change when you have a newborn.

4. Nursing is not necessarily easy, nor can every woman produce breast milk, so you shouldn’t feel bad if you’re having trouble.

5. Sex may be painful for as long as a year after giving birth.

I get a little carried away, I know, every time something baby-related pops onto my radar.  It just bothers me that girls see a certain standard perpetuated in the media and then feel they have to live up to that standard (<==NSFW).  But w-evs, I guess!

Anyway.  Today’s question from a reader is about her sexual relationship with her partner.  Can you guys give her any advice?  Have you ever, or has your friend ever, been through something similar?  Are there ways to deal with it that you might suggest trying?  Or is she just sorta up a creek.  Thanks, friendlies.

Here we go..

Dear TKB:

My fiance and I have been engaged for 3 years, together 5 total.  (I’m taking forever to set aside the time to plan a wedding, if anyone thinks it’s weird we’ve been engaged that long.)

Really quickly- 

There’s something I know to be true about myself, and that’s that I need to be having more sex.  But I don’t know what to do or how to broach it.

I can remember from the very beginning this being a slight issue.  We have sex between once and twice a week, with the occasional draught of 2-ish weeks but it hasn’t gone beyond that (yet).  It’s extremely enjoyable those one or two times; he knows how to please me, and we’re adventurous, and we’ve developed a great sense of one another’s bodies.  But that only makes me want more of it.  Is that terrible of me?  Am I just wanting too much? 

There’s another thing that this all leads into: I’m deathly afraid that once we grow our family (soon) we won’t be doing it AT ALL anymore.  That’s what I hear from my friends – sex came to an almost complete halt for a couple of couples (hehe) we know, who had a baby.  And it never recovered. :(

I get a little upset sometimes thinking about this, it worries me endlessly because I know how important sex is for me.  Any advice from the knotty community?  I know I can’t be the only one.

I’m very delicate about it with him, because I know how emasculating it can be to hear your girl wants more sex.  But on those occasions when I’ve mentioned how much I love his body and how much I want to bang it with frequency, his response is to say, “this is how I’ve always been honey..I’m sorry..this is me.”  So do I need to accept that, and be happy with what I do have?

Thanks,

S.

Ok and now the dresses.

If you’re interested in that peekaboo wedding dress at the top (for which you’d OF COURSE address the nipple situation, via some sort of corset tank, or you can do a Lady Gaga in that scene from the Telephone video), here’s are the best gowns from the Rivini show!

ON NUDITY: Heads up that I shielded your eyes from woman-nipple in the first photo below, but after that you’ll just have to brace yourself for seeing the female body, because the dress is simply too full of romance and enchantment to deliver unto you sans what is some exquisite over-nipple decoration.  Plus who am I to shame womenfolk for their visible nipps?  Guys do it everyday.  Your argument is invalid.

get this one fitted right and it would look like a dream, on:

kinda meh, but including it:

this one looks like it does a Spanxy thing in the bodice area, quality stuff if you’re after some slimming:

for the princesses out there:

credits: kate and fam, via buzzfeed / dresses courtesy of Rivini

We’re giving away vibrators today.  Ain’t no other more dignified way of sayin it.

You want one?  Cool we’re giving away 3 separate packs to 3 separate winners.

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HOW TO ENTER:

1. Leave a comment on this blog post telling us you’d like to win.  <– Each individual may leave up to 5 comments of this type, on this blog post to increase your chances of winning this random drawing!

2. If you’re on Pinterest, extra entry if you pin any one of the images contained in this blog post (must leave an additional comment on this post indicating that you pinned.)

3. If you’re on Twitter, receive an extra entry by tweeting the below (tell us you’ve tweeted, by leaving an extra blog comment):

Just entered a #GIVEAWAY on @theknottybride! http://theknottybride.com/39116

4. Extra entry if you “Like” The Knotty Bride on Facebook (again, let us know you’ve done so with an extra comment in the comment section of this post)

5. Extra entry if you blog about this giveaway on your blog, either as a stand-alone post, or within a post.  Must link to the contest, obvs.

6. Posting about this giveaway on Facebook (like with the others, tell us in a separate comment on this blog post).

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The prizes: 3 separate winners will receive a Bridal Expo Pleasure Pack from Trojan; each pack features two Expo tickets (optional) and five Trojan vibrators (5!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111).

FYI: Giveaway will close Sunday morning.  ANYONE CAN ENTER.  And if you’re shy, you’re welcomed to put a fake name – just make sure the email address you fill out is one we can reach you at, a’ight?  We’ll be contacting the winners via email.

Happy entering, peeps.

By the way:  This is separate from the giveaway, but if you’re going to be in or around Secaucus, New Jersey this Sunday, and you think you might want to grab some free vibrations, Trojan‘s giving away vibrators at a Bridal Expo they’ll be at this weekend (while supplies last – and they’re vibrators so early bird probably gets the worm here).  Anyway here are the details on that, if you wanna go:

Date: Sunday, August 4th
Time: 11:00-6:00PM
Location: Bridal Expo New York
Meadowlands Exposition Center
355 Plaza Drive
Secaucus, NJ 07094

Ok, good luck everyone!

xo, Alison

Today’s sneak peek image comes from an upcoming wedding we’ll be sharing by The Bird & The Bear Photography, an extraordinary photography studio and member of Vendor Love.  Do not miss it!  (Sorry that I yelled.)

“There will be a few times in your life when all your instincts will tell you to do something, something that defies logic, upsets your plans, and may seem crazy to others. When that happens, you do it. Listen to your instincts and ignore everything else. Ignore logic, ignore the odds, ignore the complications, and just go for it.”

― Judith McNaught

I finally found an exception to that rule.

The Bachelorette Finale – Part II: All You Don’t Need Is Love?

It’s such a shame to me when a girl settles on a man with whom she has little chemistry, just because she’s afraid she’s not going to find the man she wants.  If only we weren’t the ones who had the ovaries.

You guys here’s what I’ve been wondering ever since the show ended Monday night.  Can these types of lopsided relationships, where one person is significantly more in love with the other…can they actually work?  Like, in the long run?  Or should we as a society cling to the belief that every single person on this Earth is not only deserving of a beautiful love story, but that we should actively be seeking it out, and not rest until it is found?  (Assuming it is even possible in all cases *to be* found?)  Anyway.

Here is where my open letter to Des starts.

—

Dear Des,

This is what we were doing when you said something about being blindsided by your desire for Brooks, the man who rejected you and whom you clearly love, but then were like “but I was blindsided by my love for Brooks so I couldn’t see that the one thing I always needed was right in front of me,” or some shit:

I don’t know if that photobomb pic really conveys what I’m trying to say, but it was so funny and I really wanted to include it.  But here’s what I’m trying to say:  OH COME ON.

I’m not very convinced that Chris is getting a woman who actually has deep feelings for him after their 6 weeks of casual dating.  And I think you know it.  And I think Chris is deluding himself a bit, because you’re his dream girl.  And I think you know that, too.  A relative of mine was once who Chris is, now, and a few years later it ended in a green card and a very painful drawn-out divorce.

You may be suffering, and you may be rebounding.  And that’s fine.  That’s natural.  But is it fair to Chris?  Unrequited love hurts everyone in the end.  The destruction it causes is not worth a few months of feeling “more loved than you’ve ever felt by a man in your life.”  Yes, I want you to feel that love, because you are wonderful and you DESERVE LOVE, but Desiree just consider the fallout… if you can’t keep yourself convinced.

It’s like Gloria Fallon said:

Poor Des. There’s only so long you can fuck with your eyes closed. #Bachelorette

— Gloria Fallon (@GloriaFallon123) August 6, 2013

Of course, it’s not me you have to convince.  Nor is it the rest of the viewing public, or your overprotective brother who you don’t appreciate nearly enough, or Brooks.  It’s you.  So with all of that said, I felt compelled today to give you some pointers on being in a relationship; not that I know much of anything about being in a relationship, but I definitely know more than you, lol.  I sincerely hope this helps.

1. Chris feels like your (distant) second choice.  Let’s assume I’m right for the sake of discussion – are you planning on going ahead with the wedding?  If that’s the case, you’re going to need to curtail the impulse to make him pay for your decision for the rest of his natural born life.  He is just loving you.  Let him love you!  You chose this.  Put everything into learning to love a safe, peaceful life without physical chemistry.  Millions of women do it every day, all over the world. 

2. Cup the balls.  Don’t leave the sac alone, Des, it begs to be loved.  Ball is one of the most neglected areas on the male body; but be gentle!  But don’t be too gentle hehe that tickles.

3. Talking too much about your feelings is a turn-off for guys.  Chris especially seems the type to keep conversation to a minimum.  Good for you he’s got those poems.

4. Learn to read – this is an important one

5. Learn to emote.  Get more comfortable with actually telling other people how you literally feel.  Start easy with your brother; his loving reaction will be one laced with inexplicable anger, but he is your North Star.

6. Guys aren’t really into baby voices.  Think Trista.  And before you say but Trista found love, dancers are one of the exceptions to the baby voice rule; physical flexibility is the paper to the baby voice rock.

My point is when I close my eyes you sound like a 16yo girl, Desiree. I can’t.  And Chris won’t, for long.

7. Chris plays golf.  Guys who play golf like to keep things in.  My fiance told me last week when I asked him about a pair of lace crocheted shorts, “I’m not that into the whole bohemian look.”  This is half my closet for the last 7 years, people.  Motherfucking dedicated to that look.  So learn to go deeper emotionally, as (and this is going to sound hilarious, but) you may be the deeper one, emotionally, in this relationship.  And if you’re citing Chris’ poems as a counterpoint, you’re argument is invalid.

It’s not

That

Difficult to Write

A poem

8. Those bangs were working for you.  Why did you get rid of them?  Just wonderin.

9. Remember when you mentioned Brooks, your ex, within the same conversation as when Chris was preparing to propose to you?  You’re not ready to be engaged.

10. ^Prbly pay more attention to that.

But now Desiree… if you really do love Chris, as you say you do, and you really can imagine a wonderful life full of sex you want to be having with him, then I take back everything I said.  Except #2.  Girls really underestimate the importance.

IN CLOSING…

P.S. – Here’s some good life advice to remind you of what’s important in life.  This one always helps me when I’m feeling lost:

“I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life. I’ve learned that making a “living” is not the same thing as making a “life.” I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one. I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn. I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ― Maya Angelou

P.P.S. – If you’re still feeling sad over the Brooks thing, don’t; he wore a chevron button-down recently:

P.P.P.P.S. – Here’s the last thing I’m gonna say, and then I’ll shut up and let you live your life.  But Desiree I really mean this one.

Please stop saying the right thing, and just be real with yourself.  Wtf is the point of life if it’s not that?!

Love,

Alison

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“How hurtful it can be to deny one’s true self and live a life of lies.” ― June Ahern

When you think about your wedding day, what do you focus on?  Do you think about your dress?  The decorations?  Your walk down the aisle, and whether or not your sweetie’s gonna cry when he first catches a glimpse?  Maybe you think about your first dance as husband and wife, and what it will feel like.  Maybe you think about your family, and how everyone’s going to be together in one room, just to celebrate the love you two share.  Whatever it is, I bet you tend to focus on the good stuff, right?  I certainly do.

But if you’re smart, you’re probably also aware of the things that can go wrong…. the many, many things that can go wrong…. on your big day.  Or maybe you’re not at all aware of them.  Or maybe you’ve been told not to worry, so you put it out of your mind.

Because why stress over such things?  Wedding planning is stressful enough.

Here’s why: because sh*t happens.  And your wedding day is no exception!  So that’s where Markel Wedding Insurance comes in.

No one really talks about it, but wedding insurance is kind of a necessity in my eyes.  It’s also one of those things you don’t think about until you suddenly and desperately need it… and by that time it’s too late.  For example:

“As a little girl, Catherine’s mother shared stories of her wedding day while they looked through her mother’s scrapbook.  The pictures of her mother in her beautiful dress and her father gleaming as her mother walked down the aisle were what brought her parent’s love story to life for Catherine.  When Catherine thought about her wedding day, she knew she wanted all of those special moments to be preserved in the same way as her parents – awe-inspiring photos.  When she chose a wedding photographer, she made sure that no stone was left unturned – not only would she have gorgeous pictures and a scrapbook to share with her future children, she also would have a DVD album and a slideshow of the day. Catherine checked “Wedding Photographer” off of her “Wedding To-Do List” and went on with her planning…

A week after she booked her photographer, the photographer called and said he could no longer photograph her wedding for her.  The photographer (an independent photographer contracted through Catherine’s venue) refused to work with Catherine’s venue, as they still owed him money from a few previous weddings. Suddenly, Catherine was back at square one.  She had to find a new photographer that would work with her venue and provide all of the services her original photographer was going to offer.  Catherine would also have to pay for it herself, as the venue had already taken her payment for her current photographer.  Then she remembered that she had purchased cancellation insurance from Markel Wedding Insurance.  Catherine was able to recoup the deposit she had paid for her first chosen photographer, plus: Markel paid for another photographer to complete the keepsake DVD album and slideshow for her, as those were included in the original contract but the second photographer was unable to perform those services.”

Markel’s Wedding Cancellation insurance reimburses you for any non-refundable deposits you may have if you have to cancel or postpone your wedding due to unforeseen circumstances, such as:
• Extreme weather
• Accident
• Illness
• Military deployment
• Vendor bankruptcy

Just because your event does take place, doesn’t mean you are free from the need for wedding cancellation insurance.  You also have coverage in case of the following:
• Lost wedding rings
• Damage to special wedding attire
• Vendor no-shows
• Lost / damaged photography / cinematography
• Lost / damaged wedding gifts

One more thing!  Markel also offers Wedding Liability Insurance coverage (which many venues now require), which would help protect you and your groom from financial loss if an accident occurred at your wedding.  That’s pretty neat you guys.  Like if someone accidentally fell on the dance floor and got hurt, or if a friend had a few drinks too many and got into a car accident on the way home.  See? This is the sh*t you don’t expect.  But it happens.  More often than we’d like it to.  So why not be prepared?

Visit Markel’s Reviews & FAQs page to learn more, if I haven’t succeeded at convincing you here.  You guys know I don’t write these posts if I don’t believe in them.  I strongly urge you to consider this option.

xo!  Alison

Honey and I ate a strawberry today that was so good, like it was so sugary and scrumptious, that we couldn’t even enjoy it for a second before jumping to conclusions about the strawberry being artificially flavored or genetically engineered to taste like that.  ”Probably added sugar to it. Bastards,” said Honey.  ”NO way is this naturally how a strawb (he calls them ‘strawbs’) would taste.”  Look at how jaded we’re getting, you guys.

I shared this anecdote with you not as a cry for help, but as a message to couples everywhere: this is how hard it’s become to genuinely impress us with a thing.

Enter, this wedding. 

Thanks to The Bird & The Bear (aka, Caryn and Bryan)‘s boundless talents in the areas of photography and film, and the bride Elena’s impeccable 6th sense for styling a wedding with eye-popping retina candy, today’s wedding is quite literally the wind beneath my wings.

That’s right- literally.

You’re killin me informal definition.

As I was saying, Elena and Tony achieved what we, I think - if I may speak in sweeping generalizations about the populace at large – all want to achieve, in our wedding days.  And that is a personal and visually intoxicating atmosphere that is also totes friendly and relaxed and easy to have fun in.

Elena - I am blown away by what you and your mother (and anyone else who helped that I am leaving out) made happen with the decor.  And the way you guys used the landscape… I’m jealous of your guests!

Random aside: My mom visited for a few hours while I was arranging this wedding and when she saw this photo

she was like, “I would hang that photo in my house, I don’t care.  That photo is GORGEOUS.”  She added, “that girl should hang that photo in her house, maybe the living room even,” and “all brides should hire photographers like this who know how to take photos like these,” and I’d have to agree with her.

Readers have I sold you yet on this wedding and how great it is/how much I like it?  If not- may I present my pièce de résistance:

“Little Girls in Ruffled Dresses Holding Balloons the Size of Their Bodies, and Each Other’s Hands.”

Now check out what the newlyweds had to share with us about their Big Day…

1. Do you have any tips for readers about the wedding planning process or the wedding day?

I think one of the best tips would be to make yourself a dream board.  I had a large black project board that I would tape all my ideas on.  I had it sectioned off into different categories, and would take cuttings from magazines and tape them to it. There are so many ideas out there that you can get overwhelmed.  This helped me compare new ideas with the old ones, but most of all I could see an overall theme coming together.  It allowed the theme to develop organically rather than forcing it. I know you could argue that that is what Pinterest is for, but this helps with the magazine clippings.  Plus there is something about being able to see it all at one time, and being able to move it around.

The theme is a reflection of you, so go with your gut. This is your one shot to express your vision, so be organized and decisive and it will all come together perfectly.

2. Any personal meaning in the details you’d like to share?

A lot of the pieces at my wedding were very meaningful, from the flowers on my cake to the officiant.  My aunt married us, and it was a beautiful, happy and personal ceremony.

My mother has been collecting antiques for years, so many of the unique pieces were from her personal collection.

The porcelain flowers on my cake were a souvenir from a trip she took with her mother to Mexico.

3. Your favorite moment from the day?

My favorite moment of that day was the walk down the aisle.  

My dad and I were all smiles, the crowd was whistling and cheering and I finally got to see my handsome groom.

Wait a second I DIDN’T SHOW YOU THE CRANES YET!!  Check it >>

Creative use of cranes, AMIRITE?

A little detail on the details, from The Bird & The Bear:

Elena and Tony’s bohemian, desert wedding was amazing!  They’ve traveled all over the world together, and the wedding truly reflects their eclectic style.  We love all the origami birds pinned to the cacti, and the maple syrup favors with hand written notes on each place setting.  Every tablescape was unique, with all different jewel tone scarves, and special details they’ve collected.

Thank you, Elena and Tony, for sharing your beautiful wedding day with us!  It looks like it was freaking awesome and I’m super jeally I wasn’t there.  :)

xo Alison

p.s. cupcake close up:

p.p.s. Elena and Tony’s wedding film (shot by the The Bird & The Bear)!!!!!! 

The Bird & The Bear Photography is a member of Vendor Love.  Explore more work here, in our guide.

Photo & Video: The Bird & The Bear / Museum: Quartermaster Depot State Park / Submission: Two Bright Lights / Coordinator: Erica Gonzales / Catering: Carla Renee / Dress: Monique Lhuilier / Groom’s Attire: J Crew / MUA: Marissa Alexander / Hair Stylist: Kelly Waclawczyk / Venue: Quarter Master Depot Museum / Decor: Bride and her mother’s collection

In today’s exciting installment of In-Law Issues Revealed, one lady is trying to plan the wedding of her dreams to another lady’s beloved son, and that second lady is so totally not having ANY of it.  LOL!  High kick, woot!

No but seriously this poor girl.  

Now, as always, I am but one person with one perspective and hardly the gospel on these matters.  But I think I nailed this one.

Okie doke!  Let’s begin.

Hey Alison,

I’m a huge Knotty Bride fan!  I’ve got some crazy going on right now, but first here’s some backstory.  My boyfriend and I have been together for a good while now, and he’s got my grandmother’s ring… It’s a matter of when not if we get engaged.  Well here’s where things get a little tricky.  I got married right out of college and had a huge, no-budget blowout of a wedding my first go round.  (Side note: my dad passed away when I was 18, and my mom passed away suddenly literally 5 days after I got engaged when I was 21 – so I was basically spending money in hopes I wouldn’t feel what was glaringly missing from my wedding day.)  Now I’m 28, my boyfriend is 34, and he has never been married.  We are shooting for a wedding in May of 2015.

I’m a huge wedding enthusiast.  I’ve loved weddings since I was small.  I’m genuinely interested in wedding trends and love to entertain in general.  My boyfriend is from a small town.  His parents are definitely well off, but they certainly don’t act like it except that they travel out of the country multiple times a year.  Due to the fact that I have no parents, the majority of our wedding budget will be paid by Jonathan and me.  That’s totally fine by me, but I’d rather a long engagement (and us start saving now) and a reasonable wedding ($15,000 max budget which seems almost “cheap” by today’s standard).

Well enter future MIL*… She’s literally said that’s such a waste of money.  She feels everybody can just bring a covered dish, no need for flowers – we can just use clippings from everybody’s gardens, and here is the best of it all… “So many people take pictures with their phones these days, you don’t need a photographer”!  Wait what?!  And this is all for between 150-200 people (less than 50 people on my list) not including the fact that we “have to” invite the whole church.

Now I’m all for some DIY projects, and I don’t think I need excessive florals.  But having been through the wedding planning process once before, I know that my priorities are photography/videography, live music, food/bar and then as an aside, my dress. (The first time I went dress shopping I had just lost my mom and had taken custody of my then 13 year old sister… Needless to say it was not a fun, pleasant experience, and just about everybody cried the entire way through the process.)

So here’s the problem – my boyf’s mom is very outspoken.  She has no qualms telling me that my expectations are unrealistic and we just need to go to the courthouse with someone taking iPhone pictures… I don’t feel like I have a dog in the fight because she is so overbearing, and I obviously don’t have my mom there to balance her out.  Again, I’m fine with us paying for the wedding, but her thinking is “how dare I put that sort of financial bourdon on her baby boy”.  (Another side note- my boyf owns his own home, has a fabulous job, and I just graduated and will become a teacher very soon.  We both have good cars, and one is even paid off.)

So is this a battle worth fighting, or do I just sit back, let her “plan” this train wreck of a party (at this point I wouldn’t even call what she’s describing a wedding or a reception because of course I’ve been told I can’t wear white, or a veil, or a dress with any volume, etc.)?

Sorry this is so long, but if it’s this bad before he even proposes, I don’t want to even see what she’s like when plans are being finalized.

Thanks,

“C”

Dear Miss C,

Your FMIL** as you describe her seems rather set in her ways and judgmental about other people’s decisions.  It appears she faults people, as she seems to be doing with you, if she doesn’t agree with their choices.

If that’s the case, this will be your future: her acceptance, if you do what she wants… or sadness, frustration and anger if you do what you want and she doesn’t approve of it.

It will extend as it already has to dress choice, and wedding reception plans.  And it won’t end there, unless you and your fiance do something about it.  It will eventually include following her child rearing rules, should you choose to start a family.

You should be aware of this very possible aspect of your FMIL’s personality – She can’t help her unwanted intrusiveness.  She is, like most of us, stuck with her social behavior.  If it’s accepting of one’s right to be different from her in one’s choices, then that’s great.  If it’s not accepting of one’s right to make one’s own choices – as in your situation – then you’ve got a real problem.

So, here’s what your fiance has to do (because this is more his responsibility than yours):

In a very understanding and loving way, he has to talk to his mother and acknowledge that her choices in her own life have been okay for her.  However, her way is not the only way to live a life.  He has to explain to her that there are many equally acceptable ways to navigate one’s course through life.

He then has to stress that your choices, although different, are as valid and as proper as hers.  Finally, he has to assure her and convince her that your choices are not a challenge to hers, they are just different from hers.

Easy peasy.  Right?  No.  Not right.  BUT- necessary if you want a happy life together.

Good Luck
Alison, TKB

Ok, so let’s discuss:

1. Do you guys have any advice for this girl?  I was joking earlier about nailing it; I’m only like 75% sure I didn’t lead her in the wrong direction.

2. Do you suspect the fiance is kinda in agreement with the mom about spending?  Or do you think it’s more about not wanting to step on her toes?

3. Have you dealt with this at all in your life, in one way or another?  If so-what would you recommend (or is it HOPELESS?)?

4. And that part about the bride not being allowed to wear a white dress; obviously, because she’s been married once before and therefore “is not pure” or some shit.  Thoughts on that?

(p.s. Would be cool to hear from some mothers-in-law, too, about anything.  Could offer some extra perspective on this.)

(p.p.s. I’d love to have as open a discussion as possible with you guys today, becuse I know it’s a touchy topic, still, in our culture, but I’m betting the more we talk about it super openly and honestly, the LESS compelled we’ll feel to brush it under the rug and suffer in motherfuckin silence.)

*MIL = mother-in-law; **FMIL = future mother-in-law, but you probably already knew that.

Me again.  Happy Friday evening, peeps..

One fun thing I like to do from time to time is not drink enough water all day and then see how my work suffers.  This game I don’t recommend trying at home.

However I do have some games for you today that I think you should definitely try at home…
or wherever you hold your next bridal shower, more appropriately… because FUN and BONDING and DRINKING and GIRL TALK and so, so much more.

And after that, I’ve got another one of our swell tutorials for you from the ladies at Kindred, and it’s pretty cheesy you guys.  HA HA HA I kill myself.

Puppy Update: right now, because I need to write and he’s going to lay on my laptop if I put him on the couch, our new puppy is leashed to a doorknob in front of me – so I have a puppy wandering around aimlessly in front of me with the World’s Saddest Look on his face, while my “Calm Meditation Radio” pandora station, which usually helps me to write, is instead adding a tragic instrumental narrative to the guilt-story building in my head about this puppy’s soul-crushing journey into oblivion as he tries, with futility, to temper his desire to be near me.  It is jarringly depressing and impeding the writing of this post.  But it’s not worse than cleaning up defiance piss throughout the house with your bare feet, so.

Part I

So I went to a newly engaged friend’s bridal brunch on Sunday, and it was more fun than I ever could have imagined a bridal brunch in SoHo being.  On a scale of 1 to Lauren Conrad I feel like Lauren Conrad whenever I’m in SoHo.  So having an actual reason to be there meant I felt like Lauren Conrad after she found out she was getting Whitney’s sloppy seconds Teen Vogue trip.  And then after a few hours of having a great time with these girls, most of whom I’d never met before?  Lauren Conrad when she finds out Jason is staying with her for the entire summer, instead of doing his own thing.  So, GOOD.

Anyway it was kind of exactly what I needed becaussssseeeee…

#1: Bloody Fucking Marys.

exactly what I needed, guys.

I had around 3.5 (over the course of several hours, don’t judge me).  They were no bloody mary with a miniature cheeseburger in it, but they got the job done.  (the job being me getting to a point where I was feeling super slaphappy and in the mood to talk about everything from long engagements to cunnilingus).

sorry, I just love this table so I wanted to show it a bunch.

Btw- I tried to convince Christina, the girl who made them and organized the rest of the activities and food, to become a wedding planner.  I’m still working on her.

#2: The Game “What’s In Your Purse?”

you can click the image above to get a larger printable version // game can be found here

I really expected to win this one – I had 7 tampons and usually don’t leave home without enough pennies at the bottom of my bag to feed a small village for one year.  Wouldn’t you know, I’d emptied them out before I left so as to appear more, how do you say, in control of my F’ing life.  The ONE time you guys.

Girls- this game is great because it takes the shame out of having a disgustingly overstuffed and disorganized purse, and actually turns it into points, points that help you to win challenges at bridal showers!  I LOVE BRIDAL SHOWERS YOU GUYSSSSSSS

#3: Toilet Paper Dress Challenge

This is exactly what it sounds like.  You pair up with a partner and one of you wraps the other in a single roll of tp until a dress forms magically.  Mine turned out pretty incred (I’m in the middle below), and I have to credit my partner, Christina, for the entire design.  I was going to wear it home on the subway but we were all drinking a thousand bloody marys each and we had to go to the bathroom over the course of the day, so..

Girl even had the presence of mind to hand me the leftover tp roll for a bouquet.  And she even instructed me hold it in the appropriate spot – right in front of the vagina.  This girl is on point!

Now… check out today’s DIY, from our dear friends at Kindred!

Part 2 

Nothing completes a party like a well-selected curation of cheeses… and today’s DIY will help you keep all of those tasty cheeses organized!  Be sure to choose a wide range of flavors and origins for all your guests to enjoy… and maybe a wine pairing or two ;) 

• Sea glass (you can get this most anywhere, like Etsy; I bought a whole tub from target for $5!)
• Gold leaf (which you can get online, like here, or in most craft stores)
• Permanent pen (come on)
• Skewers/toothpicks (you have these in your cupboard)
• Adhesive (in your gold leaf kit, or buy separately at an art store; can use clear glue if you’re in a bind)

Pretty and subtle… and a great excuse to throw a cheese party! Don’t forget to add plenty of vino ;)

xoxo kindred

Thanks to Kindred for yet another great tutorial.  And special thanks for having it involve gold leafing and cheese, mmm mm.  *goes to fridge*

-Alison

Every night before I drift off to sleep, I either voluntarily or involuntarily participate in what I call my pre-slumber worryfest.  It’s very simple; instead of sleeping, I worry about shit.  Shit I deign to get out of bed and do instead of just continuing to worry about it.  It’s like what those hyper-religious folk do with the flogging, except I’m making myself go crazy.  I’ll lay awake worrying about how I need to write this article, or I need to publish that wedding, or I need to address this crippling state of depression that befalls me every time I remember I’ll be doing the physical birthing of our baby, or I need to pick up that dog food, etc. — you know the drill.  (If you actually know the drill then you know the list goes on forever and involves things like simple 3-minute tasks I simply refuse to cross off the list by doing, and emails I’ve put off for so long that at this point if I write back they’ll see how long it’s been since they wrote me and realize I’m a TERRIBLE person, blah blah blah etc.)

Fortunately for you today’s post is not about every little thing that keeps me up at night.  That’s next week.

Today I talk about the dresses – and particularly, the models – in the photos you’re about to see, which are from when I hopped backstage at The Ritz-Carlton with Romona Keveza‘s team about an hour before the first runway show was set to start (for her evening wear collection – Fall 2013 Romona Keveza RTW).  These photos make my worry list almost every night.  Why?  Mostly because I’ve been meaning to show you them forever and I’ve been putting them off, to write “a meaningful post” about “how models are real people,” or some shit.  So we’ll see how this goes…

ME TRYING TO WRITE A MEANINGFUL POST ABOUT MODELS

When the long and lean walk the runway, I can’t help but look up to them.  I literally can’t help it they’re the only ones standing in the room (also the catwalk is typically raised above eye level).  But it goes past awe and admiration.  Jealousy of the bodies and faces I’ve been taught to see as superior to my body and face kicks in a bit each time, and when I’m least expecting it.  It’s neat, actually- we live in a society where only certain bodies and faces are worthy of veneration, even if only for the fact that these bodies and faces are super unique, and have eluded the rest of us.  Oh, how we punish ourselves.

So what do you do when you’re met with a conundrum like this?  Well I think the natural next step, at least for me, is to try and cope; to write them off as sterile emotionless bitch robots, is one way.  There’s also the feigning of pity for them and their diets, when we talk with our friends.  But my personal fave is to tell myself I’m cool with it.  That I don’t have a desire to be simultaneously pretty and physically perfect.  ROTFL.  But no matter which one you go with, the outcome is generally to not like models.

So the playfulness in these candid photos we shot is something I love, and have been really looking forward to showing you.  (In other words, I’m doing a “Stars, They’re Just Like Us!” piece here, except it’s models and they’re wearing the fucking prettiest dresses in the world.)

The impeccable Casey Fatchett was with me to capture it all, I think he did a GREAT job.

Little side story: when I first arrived at this show I was guided into a hair and makeup room where models were in chairs getting their hair did.  So I walk in the room and do my thing which is to sort of awkwardly stand still in the corner and take it all in, and then try to pinpoint the person most likely not to outright reject having a conversation with me.  Because remember I’m crazy.  Anyway so I’m doing this thing, and one of the stylists goes “WHO ARE YOU” out of nowhere, so in my least confident most question-marky sounding insecure voice I go, “Oh, I’m um, a blogger?”  and she goes:

“Oh- I’m an alcoholic!  It’s nice to meet you.” 

Let me just say here that I hate introducing myself as a blogger.  No one wants to hear that shit, I get it!  What the F am I supposed to call myself though.  Please don’t say “writer” because that feels even more self-important than blogger.  Best option I think is to simply not go out and meet people.  Alright!  That’s settled.

And now, these lovely dresses.

~ LIST TIME: 15 WAYS MODELS ARE JUST LIKE US ~

If you’re digging this hair, btw– I spoke with Kérastase’s lead stylist Nina Dimachki about the look and she considers it “uptown/modern cool girl” who digs listening to Adele and Amy Winehouse, may she rest in peace.  Sorry it got weird just now.

1. They get anxious.

2. They get bored.  And this sometimes leads to BRF (bitchy resting face).  

I am a longtime sufferer of BRF, or what I like to call “not worrying that my face’s comfort-pose makes me look like I want to have you killed.”  Because COMFORT. POSE.

3. They get silly and do “snaps.”

4. And then check themselves before they wreck themselves (aka, they make sure nothing popped out).

5. If they see a mirror, they see a flaw that needs fixing.

6. They drink water!  (It’s not just Diet Coke and cigarettes, as I had been led to believe.)

7. They check themselves out doing every day things, like drinking water.

8. They spin their dresses.  (I don’t always wear dresses, but when I do… I DEF twirl them.)

9. They give side eye.

10. They shield their bellies with their arms.

11. They blink when they have their picture taken.

12. They are constantly fussing with their outfits, to make sure they look just so.

13. They do The Fishing Pole.

14. They get embarrassed when they’re caught.

15. They know practice makes perfect, and are literally the opposite of cocky when it comes to their jobs…

Models.  They’re almost exactly like us (except for the looking amazing at all times part).

Love, Alison

I found out about a tumblr site recently; the site is *VERY GRAPHICALLY* devoted to your itty bitty kitty.  Specifically– loving the one you’re with.  

I won’t be going into how I tumbled there, so please go ask the NSA if you absolutely must know.

I went back and forth on whether I should share this site with you, honestly.  I thought, “this might be too much for the blog.”

Mainly I fretted about how you’d react.  ”What if I alienate my readers by bringing attention to this?” I thought.

And I think those concerns were/are valid.  Not a lot of people – well, who read wedding blogs anyway – want to have vaginas shoved in their face, and this post is as in-your-face about vaginas as you can get.  Also, this is a wedding blog like I just mentioned, wtf am I doing.

But then I thought about it some more, and this time not through the “my body is my shame” lens, the perspective that has been part of me, part of my social indoctrination as a girl in the world, from a very early age.  And that’s when I realized-

omfg, it’s vaginas.

It’s literally just a bunch of vaginas.  It’s pictures of honest-to-god, hard-working, well-meaning, probably in large part G-d-fearing if that’s important to you, vaginas — that’s it.  Not pornography vaginas- real vaginas.  Not the most readily available vaginas on the internet, not the single type of vagina our next generation of boys is being raised on and thinking is normal, not the idyllic vaginas that have effectively convinced girls like me to believe that my own naturally occurring vaginal situation is not good enough.  Not those.  This tumblr site is about the real ones.  The everyday ones.  And it’s run by someone whose sole purpose in creating the site was to reassure girls that their vaginas are beautiful – because they are a part of you, and you are beautiful.

So I encourage any woman who’s ever felt even just a little insecure about her front bottom, to go have a look-see (BUT NOT AT WORK, DOY).

Because boys whose parents and schools don’t talk to them about what a normal vagina looks like are learning about sex and female anatomy almost exclusively through online porn.  And I’m pretty sure that’s not a good thing, for girls.  Or boys.  But MOSTLY girls… hence the nothing being done about it.

love n hugs

-Alison

p.s. – you’ll notice a common trend in the pictures if you decide to go to the tumblr site (again, NSFW); most of the girls who submit their pictures are shaved.  Shaving is, of course, hardly a bad thing; among other things it can have a unique impact on feeling during intercourse, I will testify to that.  BUT- the fact that almost all of them are shaven, says a lot, I think.

—–

“For those who stubbornly seek freedom around the world, there can be no more urgent task than to come to understand the mechanisms and practices of indoctrination.  These are easy to perceive in the totalitarian societies, much less so in the propaganda system to which we are subjected and in which all too often we serve as unwilling or unwitting instruments.”  -Noam Chomsky

Found this little sale going on at West Elm on everything from monogramming to gold flatware this week and I fell in love.  I usually don’t fall in love with sales.

But when free monogramming is involved and it’s not cheesy, I-look-like-a-self-absorbed-little-fuck type monogramming, but instead pretty simple lettering that adds some attractive umph to the item, I’m all for it.  Which essentially means this is the first time I’ve ever been for it.  Makes a great gift for your bridesmaids in my opinion – or for yourself because we all deserve a little reward now and then, yes?  The answer is yes STOP PUNISHING YOURSELF.

Btw- I feel shameful about this but I am still hopelessly into little arrows and a touch of golden trim and shit like that.  I try to limit my purchasing of these things because I’m trying to avoid looking like someone on Princesses Long Island.  You have to admit though all the stuff below is just too cute to ignore.

For example…

This metal-wrapped wood tray, $59:

This metallic case, $9:

This little leather case, $34:

(except the mustache one – ENOUGH with the mustaches)

Comes in small, medium and large, $24 – $49

This tray, $29 – $34:

This jewelry box, $59:

This jewelry box, too, $24 – $49:

The snowflake stocking, $24:

This ipad case, $34:

And the rest of the Baggu Bag Collection – Navy + Gold, $34 – $99:

p.s. – I also love some things that are regrettably not monogrammable but I just had to include in this post:

this wireless bamboo keyboard, $69 // these color blocked utensils, $8 – $12 / this gold flatware, $23 – $84

gold serving set, $23 // gold cheese knives, $23

++ 

So guys, am I just smitten because they happened to burn my actual name into a lot of these things, or are these actually really fun and happifying-to-look-at additions to a lady’s wardrobe and daily life?

I have a personal post coming up, it’s taken me only a thousand years to finish it so I’m sure that’s not weird.  That’s not weird, right?

I missed you guys.

-Alison

So it’s that time of year again, known these days as any time of the year.  When a populated area of the world is rendered suddenly dangerous and uninhabitable due to extreme weather.

Meanwhile…

Somewhere a mayor fights for his right to do lines while officially running a city.

Somewhere women are fighting while sitting on couches wearing (hideous) couture.

Somewhere a young superstar is arguing the point that nudity and sexually suggestive gesturing on stage at a music show for teenagers is feminist.  And she really believes this.

And somewhere in the Philippines, people just lost everything.

But the first three I mentioned have gotten a much bigger chunk of airtime in comparison to the last.  Which is weird right?

Sometimes my dog is like, “I’m gonna shit in your kitchen.”  That is something that pisses me off.  But then I remember I have a kitchen, and I calm down.

Dude we are so lucky!

We have a kitchen.  We have a grocery store stocked with food and water, too, pretty much at all times.  (Though it does close at midnight which gets annoying since cravings usually hit around 1am.)

Point is I didn’t just have my house and community literally ripped from under me by harsh winds and torrential downpour.

So what I’m getting at is,

It’s lovely to pray but praying doesn’t put food on the table.

It’s lovely to tweet thoughts of love, and send your good vibes to areas of the world via the internet but none of that rebuilds infrastructure.

It’s lovely to do any of those things, of course, and I encourage the continued doing of them, but obviously it’s most helpful to donate hard-earned money.  Whatever little or lot you can, as I’m really into – and I’d like to bet you are too – actually doing things that change lives tangibly, especially when I can do it by passively clicking some buttons on my computer screen and then getting back to watching those women word-murder each other in prom dresses (<–this is my personal shame).

The best reward is knowing your money will have real impact on the place you want it to, imo.  You feel me?

You can donate here.

Thanks to For Philippines With Love for getting this off the ground in coordination with the world-changing Shelterbox.

Here is the hashtag for this awesome fundraising effort: #ForPIWithLoveFromMe

-Alison